How To Coach Yourself
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How To Coach Yourself



Wondering how to coach yourself?

Life coaching is having a real moment. These days it seems like everyone’s hiring a life coach!

And that’s for a great reason.

What Is A Life Coach?



Life coaches are the people who stand behind you and cheer you on with solid advice and strategy. They help you build a solid foundation so you can create the life that you truly want.

Let’s face it: our friends and family might be supportive but they do NOT always offer up the kind of support we really need! When people love you, they might not call you out on your bullshit when it’s necessary or push you to fly a little higher than feels good. Friends and family are important for all kinds of reasons, but they are not coaches (or therapists for that matter!).

The same also applies to the role of therapists. I am very clear about what issues I can help with and what I can’t. If there’s a recurring issue like depression or anxiety, a professional is always the best bet. Coaches are not a replacement for your psychologist! But they will push you in a different way. They won’t spend time diving into your past issues over and over again but they will help you to focus on where to go next. You can do the two in tandem but it’s important to be clear about what the coach is here for and what the therapist is for as they are distinct.

There are all kinds of coaches out there but they’re all here to help you do something very specific: lose the last ten pounds. Improve your relationship. Build a successful business.

So no matter what issues and challenges you are currently facing in your life, there’s a wonderful coach out there who’ll be just right for you!


What If You Can’t Afford A Life Coach?

The obvious question is what happens if you can’t afford to hire a coach right now? Does that mean you have to miss out on all the care and attention your peers have access to?

While nothing can replace the care and attention of a high-quality coach, I have good news: it is entirely possible to coach yourself!

Self-coaching is what I use daily to help untangle my own thoughts and emotions. It’s been extremely helpful for me.

You just need to be able to call yourself out, to ask the tough questions and to finally get real about where your issues are.

If that interests you (or if you just want to learn a little more about the self-coaching process), then keep reading! This post is going to change your life.


How To Coach Yourself

Successfully coaching yourself is actually quite straightforward! There are only two questions and one instruction that you need to follow.


How To Coach Yourself Step #1:

Where do you want to be?



Coaching is always future-focused. It’s about DESIGNING your life. It’s about consciously creating your reality! So you have to know where you want to go before you can begin the process of getting there.

And I mean specific: let’s talk dollar amounts. Let’s talk about the kind of person you want to be with. Let’s be really CLEAR about these goals. So no asking for “happiness”, “abundance” or “love”.

(I mean go ahead and ask for those things! But please get really clear about what you truly MEAN by them first.)

So tell me:

  • What are you dreaming of?
  • What kind of life do you want to be living?
  • What kind of person do you want to be?

It’s always important to have a destination in mind for where you want to go in life! Because without it, you’re likely to end up living someone else’s dream instead of your own.


How To Coach Yourself Step #2:

Why aren’t you there yet?



Okay darling, it’s time to get real. Grab your journal or a piece of paper and write all those excuses and reasons down. This is the MAGIC part of the process! The stories that you are telling yourself will reveal your blocks and limiting beliefs regarding your life.

So what are they? For example:

  • People just don’t like me.
  • It’s hard to make money.
  • No one’s given me a break.
  • There aren’t any good men left.
  • All the guys I meet are assholes.
  • No one wants to pay me my worth.

Let’s get REAL about what those beliefs are actually doing to you! No matter how true you think your excuse might be, it’s important to realize that it’s really just putting you in a holding pattern. It’s not the world around you that’s against you! Your beliefs and excuses actually the only thing keeping you small.

Writing things down gives you some perspective. It’s like shining a light on the monster under the bed. Once you see things for what they really are, they’re not so scary anymore! The shadows disappear. Once the excuses and stories are moved away the next course of action will become clear.


How To Coach Yourself Step #3:

No “I don’t knows”



When you begin to look for the next step, it’s all too easy to stop just short of the answer.

That’s exactly why final instruction is this: I don’t know is not an answer.

Because you always know! Saying you don’t is just a clever way our brains have come up with to avoid responsibility. It’s buffering. It’s laziness. It’s hiding and staying small.

By avoiding “I don’t know” you’re forced into doing the work and taking ownership of the situation.

So keep pushing yourself until you find your next step. But be realistic: one step forward likely won’t solve everything but it will put you on the right track! Then just keep going. Find the next step, then the step after that.

You don’t have to figure everything out at once! In fact, trying to do that will only overwhelm you and you won’t take any action at all.



If you’ve tried this process out and you still want to work with a life coach, then check out my VIP coaching package here. Stop feeling confused and start living your best life ever!



Thank you so much for reading! I hope you loved what you learned here today and apply it to your own life. Don’t forget to let me know how it works for you!



Jenn Stevens The Aligned Life



PS Looking for more? You might also want to check out this post about decide on your life or this one about how to face your fears.



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