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The Aligned Life

Jenn Stevens | Spiritual Life + Business Coach

How To Coach Yourself

by: Jenn

How To Coach Yourself

Coaching is having a real moment. These days it seems like everyone’s hiring a coach!

And that’s for a great reason. Coaches are the people who stand behind you and cheer you on with solid advice and strategy. They help you build a solid foundation so you can create the life that you truly want.

Let’s face it: our friends and family might be supportive but they do NOT always offer up the kind of support we really need! When people love you, they might not call you out on your bullshit when it’s necessary or push you to fly a little higher than feels good. Friends and family are important for all kinds of reasons, but they are not coaches (or therapists for that matter!).

The same also applies to the role of therapists. I am very clear about what issues I can help with and what I can’t. If there’s a recurring issue like depression or anxiety, a professional is always the best bet. Coaches are not a replacement for your psychologist! But they will push you in a different way. They won’t spend time diving into your past issues over and over again but they will help you to focus on where to go next. You can do the two in tandem but it’s important to be clear about what the coach is here for and what the therapist is for as they are distinct.

There are all kinds of coaches out there but they’re all here to help you do something very specific: lose the last ten pounds. Improve your relationship. Build a successful business.

So no matter what issues and challenges you are currently facing in your life, there’s a wonderful coach out there who’ll be just right for you!

But what happens if you can’t afford to hire a coach right now? Does that mean you have to miss out on all the care and attention your peers have access to?

While nothing can replace the care and attention of a high-quality coach, I have good news: it is entirely possible to coach yourself!

You just need to be able to call yourself out, to ask the tough questions and to finally get REAL about where your issues are.

If that interests you (or if you just want to learn a little more about the coaching process), then keep reading! This post is going to change your life.


How To Coach Yourself

Successfully coaching yourself is actually quite straightforward! There are only two questions and one instruction that you need to follow.


How To Coach Yourself Step #1:

Where do you want to be?

Coaching is always future-focused. It’s about DESIGNING your life. It’s about consciously creating your reality! So you have to know where you want to go before you can begin the process of getting there.

And I mean specific: let’s talk dollar amounts. Let’s talk about the kind of person you want to be with. Let’s be really CLEAR about these goals. So no asking for “happiness”, “abundance” or “love”.

(I mean go ahead and ask for those things! But please get really clear about what you truly MEAN by them first.)

So tell me:

  • What are you dreaming of?
  • What kind of life do you want to be living?
  • What kind of person do you want to be?

It’s always important to have a destination in mind for where you want to go in life! Because without it, you’re likely to end up living someone else’s dream instead of your own.


How To Coach Yourself Step #2:

Why aren’t you there yet?

Okay darling, it’s time to get real. Grab your journal or a piece of paper and write all those excuses and reasons down. This is the MAGIC part of the process! The stories that you are telling yourself will reveal your blocks and limiting beliefs regarding your life.

So what are they? For example:

  • People just don’t like me.
  • It’s hard to make money.
  • No one’s given me a break.
  • There aren’t any good men left.
  • All the guys I meet are assholes.
  • No one wants to pay me my worth.

Let’s get REAL about what those beliefs are actually doing to you! No matter how true you think your excuse might be, it’s important to realize that it’s really just putting you in a holding pattern. It’s not the world around you that’s against you! Your beliefs and excuses actually the only thing keeping you small.

Writing things down gives you some perspective. It’s like shining a light on the monster under the bed. Once you see things for what they really are, they’re not so scary anymore! The shadows disappear. Once the excuses and stories are moved away the next course of action will become clear.


How To Coach Yourself Step #3:

No “I don’t knows”

When you begin to look for the next step, it’s all too easy to stop just short of the answer.

That’s exactly why final instruction is this: I don’t know is not an answer.

Because you always know! Saying you don’t is just a clever way our brains have come up with to avoid responsibility. It’s buffering. It’s laziness. It’s hiding and staying small.

By avoiding “I don’t know” you’re forced into doing the work and taking ownership of the situation.

So keep pushing yourself until you find your next step. But be realistic: one step forward likely won’t solve everything but it will put you on the right track! Then just keep going. Find the next step, then the step after that.

You don’t have to figure everything out at once! In fact, trying to do that will only overwhelm you and you won’t take any action at all.




If you’ve tried this process out and you still need a little extra help, then check out my one-on-one coaching packages right here! Stop feeling confused and start living your best life ever!




Thank you so much for reading! I hope you loved what you learned here today and apply it to your own life. Don’t forget to let me know how it works for you! Much ????




PS Looking for more? You might also want to check out this post about decide on your life or this one about how to face your fears.




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How To Coach Yourself

How To Coach Yourself

Filed Under: Mindset, Self Work Tagged With: coach yourself, coaching, how to coach yourself

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Hey there Goalgetter! I’m Jenn – Bestselling Author | Spiritual Life & Business Coach | Creator of The Aligned Life and I teach you how to mind hack your way to your manifestation dreams!

 

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And now for a quick message from your Higher Self: And now for a quick message from your Higher Self:Love yourself enough to LET IT GOBreathe deep & have a happy Sunday my beautiful babes!
You are magic itself.And your desires have meani You are magic itself.And your desires have meaning for the WORLD.So if you really KNEW that you were here to feel happy and do the things that bring you joy, what would you be doing differently?If you’re like me, it’s too easy to forget our true divine nature.It’s too easy to believe our worries and limitations more than we trust ourselves and this beautiful journey.But if you could trust your magic for just a moment, what would change?If you knew your dreams where a matter of WHEN not if, how would this moment be different?All the magic you ever needed is IN you already. All you need to do right now is TUNE into it!
————————————————————————
with love + miracles ✨
~ Jenn
Identity shifting is KEY to manifesting.Because Identity shifting is KEY to manifesting.Because you ALWAYS manifest from your subconscious mind.Meaning you WILL play out old programs and ideas over and over again.Until YOU decide enough's enough! And do the work to REPROGRAM your mind to reflect what it you want and who you need to be.But sometimes, this work doesn't FEEL like it's doing anything.Those little tiny shifts on the inside are close to invisible--which might even make you doubt that it's happening at all.But trust me gorgeous, it IS.Keep taking tiny steps forward.Keep doubling down on who you WANT to be.TRUST the process and understandThat little by little, bit by bitIt all adds upUntil one day you look around and realize: I'm already there.
————————————————————————
with love + miracles ✨
~ Jenn
What would it be like to TRULY be enough for yours What would it be like to TRULY be enough for yourself?💜To not CRAVE that outside approval or validation?To forget about other people's opinions or what they say behind your back?To not motivate yourself to move TOWARDS something only because you cannot stand where you are?This just goes to show that as much as we all LOATHE to admit it, so much of what we do is based off of artificially leveraging ourselves UP.If so-and-so would only say "good job"If that person would LOVE meIf I finally did [ insert arbitrary goal here ]THEN I could finally feel good and actually TRULY love myself.Sometimes we all get our wires crossed on this at times. (Myself included!)We focus on the future fantasy that our issues will MAGICALLY disappear once X/Y/Z happens.And we chase the things outside of us, forgetting that the ONLY place our true happiness lies is within ourselves.I'm here to warn you:You could run the whole race of life and NOT get what you think you need from other people.You could meet milestone after milestone and still NEVER feel like you measure up. 😩ORYou could start being enough, right here, right now.Enough = you as you are, flaws, mistakes and all.Enough = you without anyone else.Enough = you.💗Happy Thursday Conscious Creator friends!
————————————————————————
with love + miracles ✨
~ Jenn
It's a FACT of life: you're simply NOT going to fe It's a FACT of life: you're simply NOT going to feel good all the time.And that's okay!Not gonna lie: the last month or so has been rough for me.The darkness of winter + strict lockdowns/limited holiday celebrations were TOUGH.I've definitely had my moments of letting it all get to me.But that doesn't mean anything has gone wrong.It doesn't mean that I'm somehow failing.And it definitely does NOT mean I'm putting more space between me and my manifestation goals.Even with the BEST of intentions, life is 50/50. Expecting perfection at any time will ONLY set you up for disappointment.Feeling frustrated, down, exhausted: those are all normal feelings for anyone experiencing a pandemic (plus general winter blues/ political chaos etc.)So while I don't want to create MORE of those feelings, I'm also not going to judge myself for having them.Making your feelings WRONG does not speed you up back into feeling better. It only creates self-loathing and resistance.Are you feeling the same? Here are a few things that are helping me right now:- Just letting myself cry if I feel like it (Sometimes 10 minutes of a good cry is a sufficient release!)
- Concentrating on pandemic-lockdown friendly goals that I CAN achieve (Doing pilates every day, meditation + Manifestation Journaling)
- Taking a break from drinking (I only drank about once a week anyway! But why not try going without it for a month?)
- Doing more behind-the-scenes entrepreneur stuff (The kinds of things that are so easy to put off for "someday")
- Using my SAD lamp every morning! (I only just got it but I swear it's helping)
- NOT judging myself too harshly if I suddenly don't feel up to doing the work I had planned or posting as much I "should" (Being an entrepreneur brings an EXTRA level of potential self-judgment that's hard to get out of at times.)This is all just a great example of one of the most important lessons of LIFE.You don't get to choose all your circumstances. But you DO get to choose what you do WITH them.What are you choosing to create right now? Whether you're in lockdown or not, I'd love to hear it!

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