If the truth will set you free, there’s no truth more freeing than your own.
Truth is a powerful element in your manifesting practice and by that, I mean the truth of who you really are.
Shadow integration is essential for creating our ideal life.
Much of our motivation in life is stuff we don’t want to admit to ourselves.
It belongs to our Shadow Self: the part of you where all your secrets go to hide.
It’s the part of you that sneaks around in the dark. The part who’s definitely not all sunshine and light. The part that you might have been desperately trying to hide for years.
First off, please don’t be ashamed to admit that you have one! We all have a Shadow Self.
And the more you ignore that Shadow, the more power it has over you.
Not many other manifesting teachers talk about personal development and manifesting in the same breath, but I strongly believe the two are highly connected.
When it comes down to it, the stronger we are, the more powerful we become in all aspects of our life.
That’s why much of the work I recommend for students about the Law of Attraction is psychological and self-reflective in nature.
To become a powerful manifestor, you need to have confidence. You need to be aware of your own power. You need to love yourself. And you need to free yourself from old programming, limiting beliefs and integrate your Shadow Self.
That’s why Shadow integration is such a key practice for my manifesting.
Taking an unflinching look at ourselves is difficult. Troubling even! Lots of people spend their entire lives trying to drink, gamble or otherwise indulge that Shadow away.
But of course, you can never outrun it. It’ll keep following you around, wreaking unnecessary havoc on your life until you decide to take back control.
To put it mildly, what you don’t know about yourself can definitely hurt you! It will slow down your manifesting progress at the very least. And at worst, it will keep you permanently locked in those old undesirable patterns.
So to discover how the Shadow Self might just be holding back your manifesting efforts, here are five of the most common issues.
5 Ways the Shadow Self Interferes with The Law of Attraction
1. Figure Out Your Why
The cold hard truth of life is that you’re in whatever position you’re in for a reason. You created it. You attracted it towards you. And that’s the real reason why you can’t just snap your fingers and change everything. Before you can change, you need to confront the lessons that are sitting right there in front of you.
Manifesting cannot be used as a way to magic away your problems away. It just doesn’t work like that! You cannot run and hide from yourself or the Universe. Always remember: what you resist, persists. So take a good long look at how you’re inviting in those things that you say you don’t want: the low-paying job, the flaky friends, the cold-and-hot lovers, the stressful financial situation. Hint: all those varied issues typically stem from the same place–a basic lack of self-love and respect.
2. Stop Hiding From Yourself
It’s easy for most of us to turn our attention to the positive side of life. But a lot of our motivation springs from somewhere a lot darker: a desire to compete with someone, to teach someone a lesson, to prove a point, a knee-jerk reaction to something.
When we refuse to see the truth behind our desires, we give our power away. We’re basically admitting to ourselves that the guy that dumped you, the boss who didn’t promote you, the frenemy who laughed at you is more important than you are!
Your own opinion of yourself is the only thing that matters. So don’t let anyone or anything change it! The things you try to manifest should ideally serve your best interests. That means they should stem entirely from you — not from a need to impress or one-up anyone. If your desire stems from this dark place, you’ll need to do some self-reflection and inner work to clear them and move past it.
3. Face Your Fears
Another common reason many manifestors find it difficult to create change is that they haven’t admitted to themselves the fears they have about actually achieving their desires.
But fear is a problem for almost everyone! Our brains are hard-wired to view fear as a threat to our personal safety. We feel fear in the exact same way as our ancient ancestors did when they were about to get eaten by something. Except these days, we feel fear about switching jobs, meeting new people, public speaking or basically taking any sort of risk at all! Clearly, none of those things equal death in reality but our brain impulses have yet to recognize that.
Getting serious about making a change in our life means taking a look at all the ways that change might just scare the bejeesus out of us. So know the truth: every new situation we invite into our life has an element of the unknown. And when we get scared and don’t admit it, we’re a million times more likely to self-sabotage or otherwise block the very thing we wanted from actually coming into our life.
The more clarity we can develop about what our fears might be, the stronger our chances will be for actually making a sustained change.
4. Heal Childhood Wounds
Parent issues: we all have them! One fundamental truth of being human is that no one can love us 100% perfectly–parents and lovers included! Most of our parents were doing the best the could. Even people with “good” childhoods frequently have issues revolving around abandonment, neglect or feeling ignored. And those childhood hurts can linger long into adulthood and can affect our decisions, desires and overall level of self-worth.
The more we ignore them, the more those childhood wounds can hurt us! Unless we dig into our own motivations and issues, we’re doomed to keep acting out the same patterns throughout our adulthood (ie. seeking love from someone who’s unavailable, constantly seeking approval from others etc.).
We’ll unconsciously recreate a similar situation to what we experienced in childhood, secretly hoping that this time, as adults, we’ll be able to create a better outcome. Of course, this rarely works!
Noticing our behavioral patterns and figuring out how we’re sabotaging ourselves is the only way to move past those childhood traumas.
5. Change Your Story
The narrative we tell the world about ourselves is critically important to our ability to manifest. You might even fool yourself into thinking that you’re telling the truth, but that’s not the reality of the situation. But we get so good at telling our tales, we forget there’s even another option.
Do you suffer from victim-itis? Or self-inflicted martyrdom maybe? Perhaps from a breakup? Or not getting into the right school? Or not getting the right job? Or from generally being looked over or left behind or shunned?
Now ask yourself really: how much of that story is 100% true? Be honest with yourself. As the work of Byron Katie teaches, external events are always neutral. We assign meaning to them with our stories. We create the stress and chaos ourselves!
Besides, if we’re the victim, we don’t have to take responsibility for our side of the equation. We don’t have to admit where we messed up or where our judgment fell short.
But the more we keep playing the victim, the more we give our power away to that situation.
In order evolve to the next level, you need to get real with yourself about all the ways you invited that situation in, all the ways in which you actively participated in creating it and all the ways in which you love playing the victim to this very day.
Yeah, it’s heavy stuff but manifesting involves stepping up and taking control of your life. And the very first step down that road involves becoming the hero of your own journey.
Shadow work is the most difficult form of self-work you can do. But it’s also the most transformative. If you want to get serious about shedding old unhelpful patterns, then your very first step it to look inwards.
However, it’s not a one-time-only process and it certainly doesn’t happen overnight! Those unhelpful (or downright destructive) thoughts and behavior patterns have accumulated over our entire life. Finding each issue and clearing them is essential if we want to stop self-sabotaging and create more space for what we do want. It takes
(I’d love to help you with this! That’s a large reason why I’m about to launch my transformational coaching services. If you’re interested in working with me, drop me a line at jenn @ thealignedlife.co )
The bottom line is that acting unconsciously means we’re not truly in control of our own life. Confronting our Shadow just means becoming a more complete and integrated version of ourselves. The more we can become curious and learn where our true motivations lie, the more powerful our manifesting will become.
It might not be what you read about in The Secret, but trust me, Shadow integration is crucial for manifesting! (And for making any big life change, for that matter!)
I hope you found this post immensely illuminating for your manifesting adventures. Remember: there’s nothing that you can’t accomplish if you put your mind to it! And that includes facing the darker parts of you.
Thank you so much for reading beautiful souls! Much 💕