Jenn Stevens | Spiritual Life + Business Coach
Are you struggling with a relationship in your life? Relationships are some of the most powerful forces in our world so when something isn’t going well it can be incredibly stressful. But please don’t think you have to wait for someone else to do something in order for you to feel better! Here’s how you can start transforming any relationship in your life, simply by rewriting your side of the story.
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Unf*ckwithable You Episode 59: Managing Your Expectations | Expectations can be really helpful in achieving what you want! But unfortunately, there’s also a toxic side to them. Discover what expectations really are and find out how they can be damaging. There’s really no need to suffer from your own thoughts but you have to see the problem to avoid it!
Thank you so much for listening! I’d love to hear your comments, questions or episode ideas in the comments below! ????
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Arguments happen to all of us at some point, especially in our closest relationships! But an argument that isn’t handled well can be damaging to our happiness and to our relationship. So today I’m sharing six points to help you keep perspective during an argument. There is a way we can walk away from this experience having learned something so listen to this episode to find out how!
Thank you so much for listening! I’d love to hear your comments, questions or episode ideas in the comments below! ????
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How To Deal With Toxic People | Have toxic people got you down? It’s a fact of life: not every interaction we have is going to be pleasant! However, there’s a lot you can do to manage your own feelings so you can let go of the experience and move on. In this video, I share a recent incident of mine and give you some coping strategies.
Subscribe to my YouTube channel right here! New videos every Tuesday & Friday.
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How To Manifest Your Ex Back | Looking to manifest your ex back? This is one of the most common requests I get but as you might have guessed, it’s not as easy as it appears!
The good news is it might be possible for you if you follow a few ground rules!
In this video, I share the things you need to do to make sure you’re not just getting back into an unhealthy situation plus share some advice on how to attract that person back and not appear desperate.
Thank you so much for watching!
What’s up guys? Welcome back! Today I’m going to share with you one of my most highly requested videos ever. And that is how to manifest your ex back.
Hi guys! Welcome back to my channel! My name is Jenn. I am a life coach and Law of Attraction teacher and you have found my youtube channel. This is where I upload two new videos every week all about creating your best life ever. So if you want to make sure you don’t miss a thing make sure you hit that subscribe button.
Today I’m going to share with you one of my most highly requested topics and that is how to manifest your ex back. So if you watched my video on how to manifest a specific person into your life, you might know already that not everything I’m going to tell you today is going to be good news. But there really is some stuff in here that you can use if you are serious about manifesting your ex back. I really hope that these tips today will help you to do that successfully.
So let’s dive into the tips.
So tip number one for how to manifest your ex back is to know your why baby! We all have to know our why when it comes to manifesting. As I always say you can have anything you want in this world, as long as you know your why. So sometimes the reason that we want to manifest an ex back isn’t really in our highest interests. Sometimes we want to manifest an ex back because we haven’t yet dealt with the situation and we just want to go back to what we knew instead of going out on our own. Sometimes we feel like our ego is bruised and the only way we can make the ego whole again is to get that person to come back to us. Sometimes it just comes from a real place of loneliness and desperation.
So I really want you guys to check in with your selves and really ask yourself why you are trying to manifest your ex back. Because I have to say most of the time 99% percent of the time when you break up with somebody there is a valid reason for the breakup.
So manifesting your ex back you have to get really clear on why you want that to happen and really take into account the reason that you broke up and really think about whether this is going to be in your highest interest or whether you’re just acting out of a reaction mode and just trying to go back to something that you know because it is safe.
Tip number two for how to manifest your ex back: we just kind of touched on this in the first tip but I want to come back to this. Specifically there is a reason you broke up with your ex and I want you to get really honest about what that reason is and of course sometimes when you break up with somebody, the reason that you broke up isn’t the real reason. You know what I mean! So sometimes somebody is unhappy and they you know manifest that into exiting the relationship by finding a new person like there’s always something there like under need if you look under the layers.
It’s not the other person’s fault. It is something in the relationship wasn’t fulfilling them. You have to really do some deep diving and figuring out what wasn’t working because if you broke up with somebody something wasn’t working you guys. So I want you to get really clear on what that is and this is a two-parter.
Once you figure out what that is I want you to figure out whether you have grown past that. If you can come back to the relationship that’s a new person in a new way. Can your partner do that? Can your ex come back and act in any way? Because if you go back to what you were doing before the exact same thing we were doing before is going to end in the exact same way.
If you want to make a relationship work again you both have to come back to the table having worked on your stuff with a new attitude with new eyes and be able to handle whatever it was that got in your way the first time. So that is my tip number two for manifesting your ex back.
Tip number three for manifesting your ex back is to not be desperate. So whatever you do you guys I don’t want you to sit around at home wishing for that one person to call you. If you are feeling like that, if you’re feeling like there’s only one person in the world that can make you happy, that is basically a one-way trip to desperation town. And I don’t want you guys to go there. I don’t want you to put all of your eggs in one basket because that is not healthy for you and it will actually probably repel your ex more because it’s trapped them in.
You have to remember your value and you have to remember who you are as a person and that person is not sitting around at home waiting or for life to happen. So basically what I mean in this tip is don’t sit around and wait for that one person to call you. Go out there have fun with your friends. Go on some dates do something and just don’t sit around waiting for the phone to ring because that is a recipe for complete unhappiness and loneliness. And I don’t want you guys to go there! So get busy. Do something. Don’t be desperate. That is tip number three.
Tip number four and my final tip on how to manifest your ex back is to release and let go. And I know this is the part that people aren’t going to be happy with! Because you are trying not to release usually if you’re trying to manifest an ex back. But you really need to do this! This is an important part of manifestation and this is an important part of having a healthy relationship with another human. You have to understand that we can never control how anyone else acts or how anyone else feels. So I want you to become deeply deeply okay with the idea of your ex going out there and doing their own thing.
Because again the more you try to control somebody and the more you try to reel them in and jump on them and so like occupy their time, like they are going to feel that energetically before you get anywhere near them. Nobody wants to feel controlled. Nobody wants to feel like they can’t be themselves. So if you are trying to get your ex to come back and become the person they were before that isn’t going to work you have to let them be who they are now. And if you can truly love who they are now and they can learn to love you truly as you are right now then you guys might have a chance.
But if you were trying to constrict and contain and put them into this little box, you are just going to be met with rebellion. So you have to let them go and you have to let them fly and you have to know in your heart that if they were truly meant for you they will come back. You don’t have to worry about it! You can go along and live your life and know that they will come back. That one sentence can give you so much freedom and so much release from this pain that we put ourselves in.
So manifesting your ex back can really be just a trap of fear because we are too afraid to figure out life again. We are too afraid to figure out who we are again and that isn’t good. Life is all about progress and about expansion. You have to trust yourself that you are always on the right path and you have to trust that your ex is on the right path for them.
Perhaps your journey together has ended. Perhaps it hasn’t but you have to be prepared for the fact that maybe it’s over and that you just have to release and let go. After that if they come back to you and if you all have handled your issues and if you can come back to it with fresh eyes, then you might have an amazing chance to make a love happen again. It does happen so just be real and honest with yourself and make sure you’re coming from a good place and you will be able to figure this all out.
So I hope you guys found this video helpful I know this is a highly requested topic and honestly I think most people come to manifesting their ex back from a place of fear and that just never works. Because you always just end up manifesting more of what you are feeling so you have to get really clear really honest and if you are really willing to put in the work you can totally go out there and do that. But you also have to trust and believe in the fact that your ex is doing the same thing and if you can both come back to the relationship as your highest version of yourselves then you have a really great chance of making things work.
Thank you guys so much for watching this video! I hope you found it helpful. If you liked this video please give it a like. If you want to hear more from me, make sure you hit that subscribe button because again I have two new videos for you guys each and every week. If you want to learn more about me come on over to the site. I have a free manifestation starter kit for you guys to download over there if you sign up for updates. I’ll be back here soon in the next video so until then I’m wishing you the most amazing week ever! Go out there kick ass! Love yourselves. Don’t get too caught up in anybody you guys please don’t. And just remember get ready for the miracle. Namaste!
Imagine: going through life with a whole lot less problems! Does that sound too good to be true? Well we might not be able to take all the problems in the world away but this post should shed some light on how many of our problems are created by us!
We’re stubborn little creatures. And most of us have avidly argued for things we don’t even wish were true!
Here’s an example:
You get into a little fit with your partner. They forgot to take the garbage out (even though you clearly ASKED them this morning). You come home from work and see the garbage and IMMEDIATELY you start spinning into negativity.
Then the partner comes home. And the argument begins. Of course, the partner claims innocence: “I got a phone call as I was leaving the house this morning!”
But the argument continues. Maybe there are tears or even the silent treatment, before the apologies are accepted and everyone makes up.
This scenario happens a LOT.
But it didn’t have to happen!
If you look at the situation, the argument started long before the partner walked in the door.
Assumptions were made that heightened the reaction long before an explanation could be offered.
After a certain point, there was really no way the partner could have walked home and not become a target.
And what happens when you become a target? You get defensive of course!
However, the main problem here is that one person is simply jumping to conclusions.
They began to make the garbage mean SO MUCH MORE about the relationship than was actually necessary.
They began an argument over something they didn’t even want to be true.
If you’ve experienced this, then you know what it’s like! When you’re in the thick of the situation, it seems like there’s no other option.
You have to get upset. After all, you’ve been wronged and you must tell the other person what went wrong and how they should have avoided it.
But…what if you just let your partner be right?
What if you accepted the explanation at face value?
What if you didn’t let the forgotten garbage become a problem in your mind in the first place?
The forgotten garbage by itself doesn’t actually mean anything!
You’re projecting meaning onto it–and you’re choosing to project a problem.
There was never actually a problem–until you created one.
This example is a good way to illustrate how a neutral event took on greater meaning than was necessary.
It moved from a simple mistake into MASSIVE RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM territory.
And it makes the point: how much time and energy we waste fighting to make a point about something we even don’t want to be true!
Before you go into reaction mode and start arguing for anything, it’s important to stop and ask yourself: do I actually want this to be true?
If the answer is no, then it’s time to stop throwing your energy behind the argument. You’ll create a problem just by committing to this reality!
Remember that you’re a Conscious Creator! This ride called life is entirely your creation!
So if you don’t like what’s happening, it’s simply time to shift your perspective. There’s always another explanation or viewpoint. And there’s always another BETTER reality you can create!
The more upset you get, the more energy you’re summoning the situation–and the further down the energy spiral you go.
You get to decide on what you want to be true–and once you figure that out, your brain can get to work looking for the evidence that supports your viewpoint.
As logical and smart as we are, we all fall prey to illogical thought patterns from time to time.
In that case, you must examine which thoughts have brought you to where you are now.
There are some very common “thought traps” that we all fall into now and again! Here are ten common ones:
| Things aren’t always right or wrong! | Calling yourself names: “I feel like a loser” | |
| Ignoring any evidence that doesn’t match your negative viewpoint | Making things way more or less important than they should be | |
| Thinking you know why something happened | Feeling angry because things “should” have been different | |
| Saying “This always happens to me!” | Name calling (to yourself or others) | |
| Being blind to anything that refutes your negative viewpoint | Either self-blame or blaming others |
Just remember that you are always in charge of your own energy! If you’ve gone into reaction mode, it’s simply time to identify where things have gone off track so you can start choosing thoughts that feel good.
Relationships are like pendulums! There’s a give and take with this energy that becomes much bigger than the two people themselves.
When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, your pendulum has a whole lot of energy all its own. That means it might only take the smallest of disagreements to turn into a huge hairy fight.
The only way to get away from the power struggle of a pendulum is to get off it. And the only way to do that is to change your emotional state and your reaction. It’s time to shift your energy! Take the focus off of proving your point and put your focus elsewhere.
In relationships, these tugs of war seldom turn out in any real winners. Many of us spend a lot of time trying to be right at the expense of the relationship. In the words of Esther Perel, ask yourself: “Would you rather be right or would you rather be wise?”
Many arguments are un-winnable. But our need to be “right” can push our relationship past it’s limits. Remember the real objective of any argument is always to be happy, not to “win”.
Only you decide on what’s a problem and what isn’t! Many of us create excess drama and invent problems where there need not be any. But why spend your precious energy pushing for something that you don’t want?
Despite what it might feel like, you’re far from powerless in the situation! You get to decide on which battles are worth your time–and when you can slow down and really think about it, you’ll realize just how few of them there actually are.
I hope this post inspires you to examine the arguments that come up in your life! Sometimes we all just need the reminder that we’re actually the ones in control.
Thank you so much for reading and please let me know how it works out for you!
PS Looking for more? You might also want to check out this post about how to finally feel good or this one about what to do if you don’t know what to manifest.
