As you’ve likely noticed, I’m a huge devotee to the art of personal development.
I mean, who doesn’t want to make themselves better in one way or another?
But if you’re like me and constantly reading all self help blogs, doesn’t it all start to seem like a little…much?
There are just so many should’s. We should workout, meditate, eat healthy, do yoga, take the stairs, become a vegan, send white light, make offerings, drink the green juice, practice mindfulness, donate to charity. Etc etc etc.
Self-improvement can quickly become a never-ending laundry list of to-do’s, a never-ending cycle of adding more to our overpacked schedules.
And as with any other addiction, we quickly fall into the cycle of wanting more, more, more. We trick ourselves into thinking that once we finally “manage” it all, things will magically fall into place.
The only problem?
That never actually happens.
Humans live in a permanent state of imperfection. And we need to learn to accept ourselves that way.
We’re all works in progress. We all have desires and hopes and dreams. Being human means we’re constantly living in this state of wanting more. We’re always striving because if we’re not, then we’re not growing or changing.
But one goal becomes eclipsed by the next and the next and somehow this results in never really feeling like we’ve made it.
We live our lives thinking about what we want in the future, not about how much we’ve accomplished in the past. So we quickly forget about our wins and only focus on our lack.
And that’s a war we can’t win.
We need to accept our imperfection as a constant state, instead of wearing ourselves out attempting to batter it away.
We must all pick our battles. There will be things that are important for us to work on, and things that are less so. We all only have those same 24 hours and most people don’t have the luxury of being able to work on ourselves at every moment of the day.
There’s nothing intrinsically wrong with self-development. But when we become slaves to the process with starts to become an act of self-loathing.
It causes more harm than good. And it will damage us, if we don’t first develop a deep sense of love and understanding for ourselves.
All those external goals won’t ever matter if we don’t know how to love ourselves.
If we can’t enjoy life right here, right now, then we’ve already lost the game.
So this week, if you’re like me, and constantly pushing yourself for more, I ask that you consider doing a little less.
Let’s all get off the self-improvement treadmill (even if just for the moment).
Learn how to sit with yourself in your current state, whatever that might be.
Instead of striving to change, focus on accepting yourself exactly the way you are.
Yes that means it’s okay to love yourself even if you forgot to meditate this morning (and yesterday morning). It’s okay if you’re not quite vegan yet, you haven’t lost those last ten pounds and even if you haven’t stepped foot in the gym in the last year!
It’s fine to love yourself even if you think you haven’t done “enough” this week or month or lifetime.
There’s no such thing as perfection.
And it’s such a fucking relief.
So have a little compassion for yourself. Groove into the imperfections. Give yourself the gift of being in the moment. Give yourself the luxury of not pushing for the next thing, even if it’s just for today, this week, this month.
Sit still, be quiet, and take it all in. Just take a moment to be the real you.
You don’t have to try so incredibly hard to be enough. You already are.
Confession: I write these posts mostly because I need to hear them. And I hope it helps you like it helps me! Let me know your thoughts on the process and please share this post if you found it helpful.