Jenn Stevens | Spiritual Life + Business Coach
The Happiness Challenge | Happiness isn’t something you find after a certain goal or event. It’s something you can CREATE starting right now! Yet happiness often continues to elude us. In this video, I share my best tips to create your own happiness starting TODAY!
Thank you so much for watching!
No matter who you are and where you’re at in life, you could probably use just a little bit more happiness!
Everything we do in life stems from one of two these two motivations:
or
to increase happiness!
On the surface, everyone’s desires look very different at first. Our goals and passions could be miles apart!
But no matter how different those appearances might be, there is always a common thread.
And when we (seemingly) run out of it, the entire world seems to lose its color.
While pursuing goals throughout your life is important, it’s also crucial to remember that happiness isn’t really about those external things!
All the money, fame, and success in the world won’t cure all your problems.
We simply use those goals and milestones as an excuse to allow ourselves feel happiness. But those things don’t actually generate happiness; only we can do that!
Happiness is like a muscle; the more you practice using it the easier it gets.
And the really good news is that you can start practicing feeling happy right now!
If you’re looking to create a bit more happiness to your life, then you’re in exactly the right place! Keep reading to learn how these 7 happiness habits can help you to become the happiest person you know:
In this modern society, it’s all too easy to become focused on what we have yet to achieve–and that can leave us feeling inadequate or stressed. Learning to bring your focus back onto what you already have is a wonderful way to tap into your innate source of happiness.
Despite what your brain is telling you, on a global scale, you are wildly blessed! You have a roof over your head, cute clothes to wear, a phone in your hand. You have health, clean water, family and friends. Not to mention that in order to be in the top 1% of the richest people in the world globally all you need is an income of around $34,000–meaning most of you are rich and don’t even know it!
Perspective is such an important element of gratitude. Don’t forget that one day not too long ago you were wanting to be exactly where you are right now! So don’t forget to look around and appreciate all that you’ve already accomplished.
Whatever you focus on always expands! Which means that complaining is a wonderful way to invite more negativity into your life.
It might come as a surprise but complaining is totally optional! The things you are complaining about might have been real, but they don’t have to keep getting in your way! By the time you can even formulate a complaint, the situation is already over. When you complain you’re consciously choosing to spend more of your time reliving the moment and dragging your energy down!
Of course, sometimes complaints need to be made. We need to say our peace and the air needs to be cleared. But complaining can never allow you go back in time and erase what happened!
However, you do always get to choose how you want to think, feel and act moving forward. When you think about the bigger picture, it’s easy to see that complaining won’t ever take you where you really want to go! So let’s stop placing our energy there.
Here’s a BIG happiness secret: if you take your awareness back to what’s happening right here and right now, most of your problems will evaporate away.
Let’s try this out: stop for a moment and breath. Feel your body. Look around, listen, smell. In this very moment, there’s not a whole lot to do but just breathe.
Cultivating mindfulness is crucial to working on your happiness muscles! We can easily get ourselves into trouble by living either too much in the future or in the past. While the past is an integral piece of who we are, no amount of obsessing can ever change it! And while the future is brimming with the unknown, it’s fruitless to worry about things that may never come to pass.
Whenever you find yourself falling into replaying old scenarios or catastrophizing about future events, bring yourself back to the present moment. This is actually where your life is happening–and it’s the only thing you really have control over! So try to enjoy it as it happens.
Be honest: how do you speak to yourself in the privacy of your mind? For most people, the truth is shocking. We say things to ourselves that we would never speak to anyone else. All too often, our Inner Mean Girl is the one who’s actually running the show.
This mean side of us is actually just our ego talking. It’s attempting to scare us back into conformity and familiarity. It loves to tell you to be more “logical” or “realistic”–even though most of the time that means dulling down a lot of our sparkle.
This inner negativity is a tough habit to break but the only way to overcome it is to make positivity a habit. How can you show yourself more kindness and compassion? Even if you can’t switch completely from self-loathing into self-love, you can definitely come to someplace neutral, which will give you a lot more ease as you go through life.
Life can be difficult! But you don’t need to keep putting extra punishments on yourself. So make it your intention to start swimming in the opposite direction. The more you practice self-love, the easier it’ll get.
When something “bad” happens in your life, it’s all too easy to get bowled over with emotions. It’s not so easy to realize those emotions are actually generated by US!
We live in a neutral world. But it’s the stories we tell about the world around us that give us the feels.
For example, you could decide that rainy days are sad and that you can never feel happy when it rains. But that’s really YOUR choice! It has nothing at all to do with the rain itself. Not to mention, the rain is going to keep falling no matter how you feel about it.
It’s straightforward to see how this happens with a neutral event like the weather. But it’s a lot more difficult to see this when it comes to other people!
So often create or assume the intentions of those around us! We chose to believe that our partner wants us to feel disrespected or unloved–when that’s almost never the case! Everyone else is just doing life the best they can. And sometimes that means they don’t do what we expect them to do! But that broken expectation has little to do with them and a whole lot to do with us.
Whenever you’re becoming angry or sad about a certain situation, challenge yourself to dive a little deeper. Sure, your boyfriend didn’t call when he said he would. But what are you making that mean? When you become willing to see the world in a new way, then you will also feel differently (which hopefully also means lighter, happier, better).
Our relationships are an intrinsic part of our happiness! It’s not enough to work on yourself if the people around you are telling you you’re not capable of something or trying to discourage any attempt you have to make a change.
While there’s no such thing as a toxic person, there definitely is such thing as a toxic relationship! Sometimes we fall into negative behavior patterns, especially with those who we’ve known for a long time. While it takes two to tango, if you make your desire for positivity clear and your friends are not supportive, it might be time to look for new friends.
Your happiness is your responsibility–and that means you have to be vigilant about safeguarding it. But this isn’t a matter of tricking the world around us into doing what we want! Rather, it’s simply a matter of setting boundaries.
If a person, place or thing is draining you, you have every right to eliminate or limit your time there. That might mean unfollowing someone on Instagram, deleting Facebook from your phone or limiting your phone calls with your overly negative friend to only once a month. And that’s totally okay! You’re an autonomous adult and you don’t owe anyone or anything your time, energy and attention. So leave them to it and don’t worry too much about their journey. The only person you can truly save is yourself!
There is one habit that will suck away your happiness faster than almost anything else and that is comparison-itis. Unfortunately, we’re nearly at an epidemic in this department. The rise of social media has made it easy to keep track of what everyone else is doing…when really it’s more like what they want us to think we are doing. We’re constantly comparing ourselves with everyone else’s highlight reel and that can feel pretty overwhelming.
Few people are posting about their breakdowns or admitting their weaknesses. But that doesn’t mean they don’t exist! Try to keep in mind that appearances are deceiving and there are a lot of people out there who are much more worried with about how happy they look on Instagram than with their own true happiness.
If you really can’t help obsessing over this stuff, then it’s time for an intervention! Cull your Facebook friends and go on an unfollow spree on Instagram. If anyone triggers a hint of jealousy or inadequacy, then that’s reason enough to let them go in the digital world. You don’t owe anyone your eyeballs so do you and make your feeds a safe place for you to see.
The world is changing slowly and we’re becoming more aware of the importance of managing our own mental health! However, there is still much work to be done. The recent deaths of Kate Spade and (my not-so-secret celebrity crush) Anthony Bourdain highlight this importance. While I think that an overall understanding of how your emotions work is helpful for many, those suffering from chronic depression and suicidal ideations still need the support of a professional.
(And please know that you are not alone!)
So what do you guys think? What are your happiness habits? What areas do you need to focus on?As always I’d love to hear it in the comments! ????
Thank you so much for reading. Wishing you a beautiful and happy week ahead! ????
PS Looking for more? You might also want to check out this post about retrain your brain with affirmations or this one about how to feel better.
