Jenn Stevens | Spiritual Life + Business Coach
Are you letting fear hold you back from getting what you want in life? Most of us are–but a lot of times we don’t even know what’s really happening!
That’s because FEAR is tricky to see sometimes. But make no mistake, whenever you try to do something new in your life FEAR will make an appearance.
This workshop is essential viewing for anyone wanting to do big things and manifest their desires!
Thank you so much for watching!
No one can blame you for occasionally giving into fear right now! The Coronavirus has created an unprecedented situation that we are all still learning how to deal with. But I want you to know that, despite the uncertainty, you do not have to live in fear 24/7. In this video, I’m sharing some tips to mitigate your fears and anxieties so you can start feeling like yourself again!
Thank you so much for watching!
3 Kinds Of Fear & The Law Of Attraction: What To Look Out For | Fear is one of the BIGGEST blocks you will face when it comes to manifesting. But it doesn’t always appear in the way you expect it to. In this video, I’m sharing 3 different kinds of fear and how they might pop up for you–so you can identify the problem and continue to manifest!
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Learning how to manage your mind and emotions is a superpower! Of course, we all want to do this to create more happiness and success in our lives.
For most of us, emotional intelligence doesn’t come so easily. Many of us still feel controlled by our emotions rather than understanding that our emotions come from us.
Make no mistake: we’re ruled by our emotions. Even when we use our logical brain to decide on what to buy or where to eat etc. we’re usually just justifying a choice that our feelings already made! We’re ruled much more by our emotions than we’d like to believe.
That can be particularly troubling when you learn that emotions can be used against us. They’re actually a common way for people outside of us to control our opinions and actions.
The truth is that the outer world (your family, friends and the media) use emotions as weapons all the time. But if you’re not aware of how this works, you’re doomed to be controlled by it.
For example, this is the very foundation of modern advertising itself. Did you know that Sigmund Freud’s nephew Edward Bernays basically invented advertising as we know it today? He took principles from propaganda and figured out how to use them for large corporations. We still feel the effects of this rebranding today! Our emotions are being manipulated all the time; unless you develop emotional intelligence of your own, you run the risk of being controlled by them.
You’re here to live your best life–not to become a happy Kmart shopper who’s blind to how much their outside world controls their feelings and actions.
Ultimately, our emotions are always in our own control! You don’t have to to take the emotional bait from anyone. You’re actually giving permission to all those things you feel–which means you can also stop giving that power away!
It’s only once you see how common emotional manipulation really is that you’ll understand how susceptible we all are to it. Understanding how your brain works really will give you your power back and make you less likely to feel out-of-control in this chaotic world.
While emotional manipulation is actually a huge topic, today I wanted to touch on the three most common emotions that are used to control us: fear, shame and guilt.
Fear is one of the best tools of mind control there is! When we’re afraid, we’ll do almost anything to convince ourselves we’re safe again. But most of the time, fear is just an illusion! Our brain excels at making mountains out of mole hills which means our fear is often wildly out of proportion to reality.
Fear literally locks your brain up and puts you in fight-or-flight mode. In that state, your vision gets super-focused: you’re trying to solve just one problem to put yourself at ease. However that tunnel vision doesn’t do you any favors. When you’re narrowly focused on one problem or issue, you lose perspective and also the ability to see some very obvious solutions.
Be very wary when someone is asking you to be afraid of something. Once you notice this tool, you’ll see it being used almost everywhere: on the news, by politicians, in regular advertising. But of course the TV show wants you to keep watching, the politicians want you to vote for them and the advertising people want you to buy something! Developing awareness of this mechanism will help you to build immunity to it.
Shame is another potent tool of control. We’re pack animals at heart; we want nothing more than to fit in and be accepted by those around us. At one point in time, being rejected by our peers really was a matter of life-or-death. We had a much better survival rate in a group. Going it alone was highly dangerous.
Times might have changed but our brain remembers that danger from our collective past. That’s why shame is one of the most painful emotions we have. Think about your most shameful memories! Even though they may have happened long ago, bringing yourself back there can still sting terribly. We know what shame feels like so acutely we’ll do almost anything to avoid feeling that way again.
The funny thing about shame (like all emotions) is that shame requires our participation. Someone can’t shame you unless on some level you agree with them. Our natural instinct is to run from shame but we actually have much more power over it than we think! Developing a sense of shamelessness is really just an act of self-love and preservation. The more you can shrug off your shameful feelings with a “so what?” the less likely you’ll be to be influenced by them.
Guilt is another dark emotion that causes us much discomfort. It’s actually built right into many major religions. If (like me) you were raised in a Catholic household, you’re probably all too aware of the power of guilt!
Guilt lies very closely to shame. Unlike shame, we experience guilt mostly as a projection. Other people tell us what we need to feel guilty about. But, once more, we have to agree to that projection in order for it to have an effect on us.
There are multiple ways we can feel guilt. We can feel guilt around things we actually did or around things we’re just thinking about doing. We can also feel societal guilt (like for eating meat) or for guilt about other people (for having more or not doing enough).
A normal amount of guilt is healthy; it helps us have empathy and relate better to others. But excessive guilt can be toxic. Again, it’s you that’s that’s really holding all the cards! What happens when you drop the “should’s”? Where does your heart tell you is truly right? When you stop worrying so much about what other people think, it leaves you the space to step powerfully into your own authenticity.
Need someone to talk to? Better Help offers affordable therapy and counselling services online, through messaging, phone or video chat. Get the help you need in the privacy of your own home at an affordable rate! Click here to sign up right now with an exclusive 10% discount for readers of The Aligned Life.
No matter how intense or fast emotions are, there’s always something you can do to help shift them. Remember that you’re in charge of your own thoughts which then dictate your feelings! The more you practice diving in to see where things are really coming from, the easier it will be to manage these tricky low-vibe feelings.
PS Looking for more? You might also want to check out this post about how you’re self-sabotaging or this one about the truth about your upper limit problem.
If you’re trying to change something in your life (through manifesting or the “normal” way) you’re eventually going to come up against your fear! In this video, I explain what fear really is and give you two new ideas to help you embrace your fear so you can surpass and transform your fear with ease!
Thank you so much for watching!
Did you know: your goals are never just about what they appear to be on the surface?
They can always help reveal the truth about our true motivations in life, just as long as we’re willing to look!
Manifesting can be just another way for us to hide our heads in the sand and avoid the very things that are most important. Plus many of us are attempting to manifest something simply in order to feel better about ourselves. We think that if we get the guy/money/job etc. then we’ll finally feel good about ourselves.
But that’s just following the a formula that doesn’t work! As much as you try, you cannot use something outside of you to heal your inner wounds.
Attempting to do this is what we call spiritual bypass–and it might be the very reason you can’t manifest what you want!
You can’t simultaneously fear something and successfully call it in. Your fear and insecurities will remain until you do the work to clear them.
Face it: the Universe always know what’s up. (And how annoying is that??)
The bottom line is: you can’t skip the lesson that’s right in front of you! So there’s no point in trying.
But you can still manifest your desires, just as long as you’re willing to ferret out those issues and fears so you can truly heal them. It’s from that place of wholeness that we have the most magnetism and power! So please take this guide not as a cautionary tale but as a place to begin the healing process.
There are three major signs and symptoms of spiritual bypass:
Goal-setting is undeniably a tricky business! We decide we want certain things in life because we think they’ll make us happy. But one the biggest truths of life is that happiness isn’t a result. It’s a choice! So all the material goods or life achievements in the world won’t necessarily make you happy! Fortunately, that means happiness is always optional no matter what your life might look like.
However, we’re here to grow and expand and goal-setting is the perfect path to doing that. Plus, our desires are also part of our unique soul path. Following them might not take you exactly where you want to go but it will always take you to where you’re supposed to be.
Still, for many of us, goal-setting doesn’t come from an enlightened place. Instead, it’s part of our old outside-in paradigm. We think that manifesting the car or the Louboutins or the ring on our finger will make us (finally!) feel good about ourselves. So we set out manifesting those things. But the core issues are all still there. If you feel insecure or unloved or whatever right now, the thing won’t make you feel better for more than a day or two.
All too often the goals we set for ourselves do not ultimately have our best intentions in mind. We’re just playing catch up so we can feel similar to our peers or using something outside of us to try to feel good.
When you’re doing this you’re putting the power in the object or event, more than in yourself. You’re creating situational validation, which is not true happiness at all! Your worthiness is the key issue here. If you don’t think you’re worthy, the Universe will ultimately echo that back to you.
Operating from a scarcity mindset means you’re constantly competing with others or somehow worried that there’s not enough to go around. But it’s really all just fear in a slightly different format.
Not surprisingly, scarcity most often comes up around money and abundance. When people try to manifest winning the lottery, their desire is often rooted in a place of scarcity. They’re looking outside of themselves for the answer because they don’t fundamentally trust in their own ability to make or keep that kind of money.
Another way we default into scarcity is by buying into scarcity beliefs. When it comes to money, there are an awful lot of them–so many that you might not even have questioned their validity! For example, “Money doesn’t grow on trees”, “You have to work hard to get rich”, “The rich get richer” etc. We hear these things so often over a lifetime we often start to regard them as fact, when they are anything but.
Test out your own scarcity beliefs by thinking about what you’re manifesting for yourself. Are you only trying manifesting because you think you couldn’t get it in the normal Muggle way? Or do you truly believe in scarcity beliefs around money (or love or whatever it is)?
None of those scarcity stories are empirically true–which means you also get to not believe in them, even if you’ve carried them with you for your entire life! Your beliefs are literally what creates your world so dare to exercise your right to choose in something that’s supportive of you.
Fear comes up in many ways but the ultimate fear tactic is one we often don’t even see! Our ego loves to trick us into avoiding the very thing we need to work on the most. It’s just afraid of actually dealing with it and therefore having to change! But instead of actually experiencing fear, it’s probably hiding your fear, by convincing you that your real worry is not that important or that you can somehow go through life without dealing with it.
Two very common areas this comes up are around love and money. (Like always!) For example, many people get fixated on manifesting a million dollars. But it’s not the million dollars they really want! They’re really just trying to avoid their own mountain of money problems. If you’re avoiding looking at your credit card or bills, that’s a red flag that you’re actually afraid of your money situation. Trying to manifest from this space will be an uphill battle because your desire is ultimately rooted in fear.
When it comes to love, our secret fear can tell us all kinds of things to keep us small and safe. “All the good ones are taken.” “Dating in this city is too hard.” “I’m too old/fat/poor etc.” Those excuses might even sound legit at first but they’re really just putting a layer of bubble wrap around your heart!
It’s only once you try to look beyond those issues to see the real issue of fear and you’ll have a chance of being able to call in what you really want!
Authenticity is true power and that includes being authentic and real with yourself. Like I always say: You can have whatever you want as long as you know your why!
In other words, your why is key to manifesting successfully! When you’re brave enough to be 100% honest with yourself, you’ll start to see how many of our desires are actually attached to our Shadow. They come from the dark and murky places in our psyche and are not always imbued with our highest good.
When you try to heal a wound with something that’s outside you, you’re never going to succeed. However, it’s not all bad news! You can still have the thing you want; but you just need to work on healing that wound first.
It’s only once you’ve found self-acceptance and healing that you’ll truly be able to call your wish through. Your wound will always have more power over you until you can summon the courage to face up to it. And once that happens? Boom! You’ll become totally magnetic.
Need someone to talk to? Better Help offers affordable therapy and counselling services online, through messaging, phone or video chat. Get the help you need in the privacy of your own home at an affordable rate! Click here to sign up right now with an exclusive 10% discount for readers of The Aligned Life.
You really can have whatever it is you desire just as long as you’re coming from a place of true power. Don’t be discouraged! You always have the power to overcome whatever blocks you might find. After all, you created it all so that also means you can destroy it!
Have fun manifesting with this & thank you for reading!
PS Looking for more? You might also want to check out this post about how to integrate your shadow or this one about why you shouldn’t manifest happiness.
