girl sitting on the ground with text Your Shadow + Manifesting: 3 Ways You're Self-Sabotaging
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Your Shadow + Manifesting: 3 Ways You’re Self-Sabotaging

When it comes to manifesting, the biggest barrier to your success is something you catch a glimpse of in the mirror every single day.

It’s your shadow.

Our shadow self is our secret monster in the closet. It’s the real boogeyman under the bed–but this boogeyman can actually cause real damage.

Of course, it’s not going to actually jump out of the shadows and hurt you. But it will trip you up. Your shadow self is key to self-sabotage.

If you’re serious about your success, you can’t ignore this very real part of you.

When it comes to your shadow, the more you try to ignore it or run away from it, the more power it will have over you.

As Carl Jung said: “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

In other words, so much of what we’re taught is unmovable as “fate” is really just our own projections. So taking control of those projections is how we get our power back.

Your subconscious mind is a powerful force in your world, whether you know it or not.

Few of us want to acknowledge our darkness. But please know that the unchecked shadow is your real enemy. The more we ignore or avoid something, the more power it has over us.

Becoming a conscious creator means taking ownership of our own darkness.

So remember this: a funny thing happens when you shine a light in the darkness: all those scary shadows are never as scary as you first thought.

Are you ready to shine a light into your own darkness? Shadow work might be unnerving at first but it’s a powerful pathway to your own authenticity and magnetism.

Please use this shadow + manifesting guide as a jumping-off point for your inner journey.

Shadow + Manifesting: 3 Ways You’re Self-Sabotaging

Shadow & Manifesting Problem #1:

Our Shadow Self

Looking at us now, it’s often hard to see the truth. But behind our glossy, fashionable, grown-up exterior lies a secret truth. We’re not just the person we see today; we also contain fragments of our most damaging and delicate times.

Think back to your personal moments of pain and discomfort. The pimply fourteen-year-old. The third-grader who peed her pants. The college student who tripped on her way to the podium.

We’ve all experienced more than a few cringe-worthy events over our life. And most of us think we’ve left all of that far behind us.

However, most of us have not truly healed from those experiences. Instead, we simply ran away. We worked hard at becoming not that version of us–which means that version of us is still left alone, rejected, and unloved.

Being a full and complete person means accepting and loving ourselves, even when we’re at our “worst”. The human tendency to categorize everything into good and bad, black and white is one of our most damaging traits. What if you were still completely worthy and deserving of love and respect, even at your most vulnerable moments?

That’s a truly radical belief but one that can bring us immense healing if we choose to embrace it.

So ask yourself: what were your most painful or shameful moments? Imagine that version of you standing in front of you now and offer him/her love and forgiveness. Keep working through each major moment that you can think of and feel how your inner world softens in response.

Shadow & Manifesting Problem #2:

Our Shadow Desires

Not all of our desires are the result of our highest good. In fact some of them can come from a dark place. It’s up to us to keep asking questions and staying curious in order to find out.

When you ask anyone why they want a certain thing in life, the basic answer is the same: “I just want to be happy.” So you need a little deeper to figure out why you’ve associated your goal with happiness.

Most of us are trying to “complete” ourselves through acquiring something outside of us. (An approach that rarely works obviously!) But at the age of fourteen we decided that the popular girls knew something we didn’t. Or the guy that dumped us at sixteen was right about us. Without ever realizing it, we started to live our life through the idea that if we could get even or show someone a lesson or impress a certain type of person, then (finally!) we’d feel okay.

We all think we left grade school a long time ago but many of us carry those wounds around with us for much longer than we think.

Again, we can’t move into a new place in life if we’re still running on these dark motivations. Remember that the Universe always knows what’s up! If your goals are born out of self-loathing, then what are you really asking for? As always, it’s up to us to heal the wound inside of us. You can still ask for anything you like in life, but this is why it’s so important to be clear about your why.

If your desires are stemming from this dark idea that you need to show someone up or get even, then it’s time to press pause. We’re always the most magnetic when we’re operating

Shadow & Manifesting Problem #3:

Reverse Motivation

Sometimes the biggest problem with your manifesting is that–truth be told!–you’re actually completely and 100% okay with being exactly where you are.

It’s hard to hear but it’s often true. Perhaps being perpetually broke, single or unemployed might be exactly what you want. If you’re secretly getting something out of the situation, then it will very difficult to break free of it.

Some of us are hopelessly addicted to drama and chaos–and it’s not our fault! That’s simply the only thing we’ve ever known. Others thrive on the attention of being constantly “broken”, victimized or wronged. (Making other people wrong can be a way of feeding your own ego by making you perpetually right.)

For example, maybe you love being broke because you secretly feel virtuous and valued about complaining to your friends all the time. Perhaps you keep dating the same kinds of people (who break your heart) because you don’t really want to open your heart. Perhaps you think that if you really got what you wanted you’d also lose someone’s love, respect or attention.

If you have any kind of attachment to where you’re at, then you have to take action or risk suffering from reverse motivation. We’re all experts at self-sabotage, to the point we’ll still call ourselves a victim when it’s really all our own doing.

Change is always scary–especially to our subconscious mind! So if you’re stuck with your manifesting, this is an important rock to look under. Ask yourself: what do I secretly love about being exactly where I am right now?

You must acknowledge these shadow-y motivations before you can release and clear yourself from them. So please do the work and dare to be honest with yourself. The answers can be life-changing.

Shadow + Manifesting Journal Prompts:

Which aspect of shadow do you need to work on?

How can you take ownership of your subconscious moving forward?

What’s the things inside of you that you’re most afraid to face?

This stuff may be intimidating at first but it really is important to do the work if you’re serious about creating sustained change and success in your life! In the end, your happiness is always worth it.

Good luck & much love my darlings!

Jenn Stevens The Aligned Life

PS Looking for more? You might also want to check out this post about create your world or this one about success consciousness.

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