Are you struggling to find yourself? Or maybe you are wishing that you knew your life purpose? Time to stop focusing on those things because they’re leading you down the wrong path (and probably making you feel worse).
Today I’m sharing a simple trick for what to focus on instead that will make you feel more powerful and be way more useful. A must-watch if you’re after happiness!
In This Episode:
+ Find out why finding yourself isn’t the best idea
+ Learn what else to focus on so you can go through life feeling in control
+ Find the confidence to truly go out there and live instead of waiting for someone else to press play
+ So much more!
Thank you so much for watching!
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Video Transcript:
are you looking to find yourself well what if you didn’t have to look what if finding yourself was not something that you actually needed to do at all today i am going to take this piece of common personal development advice and turn it on its head and give you an alternate way of looking at the world so if you are feeling a little lost a little confused and a little like you have to find yourself and you’re feeling that pressure today’s episode is for you so stay tuned
hello beautiful soul and welcome back to another episode of ask a coach my name is jenn stevens i am your host today and this is my youtube channel my youtube series here is called ask a coach because i am answering your questions on how to create a better life for yourself every week i answer a question or give you a new tip that is going to help you to create an extraordinary life so if you are interested in joining me on this lifetime journey of expansion then go ahead and hit that subscribe button so today i am talking about why you don’t need to find yourself and i know that i get questions similar to this all the time sometimes people are looking to find their purpose or the meaning for their life or something like this and i have definitely been there and i can tell you it doesn’t really feel that great when you feel like you’re disconnected from your life and that there’s some thing out there that you have to go and discover it might make you feel like you are doing things wrong or you’re wasting your time or that your life just isn’t what it should be so today i just wanted to talk about this concept a little bit because while i find that it of course means well it’s you know we talk about this stuff because we want people to find something that will make them happy and become a happier more confident person along the way but this feeling that there’s something outside of you that you need to go search out for i find that this part of it is completely damaging so like i said i have definitely been there there’s been times in my life where i felt like i had to go and figure out my life figure out my purpose figure out what i was meant to be doing here and again i can tell you how disempowering that felt because of course if you are wandering around through life searching for this one thing that is going to give everything meaning you are also going to have some anxiety along the way of what if it’s right in front of me and i can’t see it what if i made the wrong choice along the way and what if i’m getting it wrong and those are very big things to think about while you’re trying to sort out your life and trying to figure out something that will give everything meaning so what if we took this whole concept and instead of going outside of yourself to go search for meaning to search for something that is going to make everything else make sense and feel better what if instead we worked on creating ourselves in actuality this is really what we’re doing doesn’t always make sense on the surface when you first go out there especially if you’re young going out there and trying to figure out what you want to do it might seem like everyone else has it figured out but let me tell you right now that that is very rarely the case most of us did not you know get the purpose and the meaning of our life handed to us on a silver platter most of us just did not wake up one day thinking that i know the answers and i know what i need to focus on and these are the things that are important to me for the majority of people out there instead life is a game of figuring it out and it is totally okay for you to be figuring it out so that’s the first point i want to make feeling like you are in progress is not a bad thing in fact you will be in progress in one way or another your whole entire life it’s very damaging for us to think that there is a destination that we will get to someday and when we get there we’re going to feel so much better and everything’s going to make sense and nothing is ever going to hurt us again and unfortunately that is not the case we are always changing and evolving and growing and our life is shifting as well so we are always going to be in the process of becoming another version of ourselves and that is completely okay so it is really important for every single person watching this to become okay with being on the journey to become okay with not being completed or being at the finish line because the finish line doesn’t actually exist the second thing to understand here is that life is best understood by doing not by sitting around and thinking and analyzing and hoping that you’re just going to immediately download some brilliant idea into your mind unfortunately most of us have to go out into the world and try new things in order to figure out what works and what doesn’t work and here in lies one of the problems with that because we give our brain so much credit we think our brain can figure out everything ahead of time we make a beautiful plan for life and how we think our life is going to go and then we go out there and the plan doesn’t match up with what we thought was going to happen and then we make that discrepancy mean something about us basically our expectations don’t come true and then we turn that into ammunition against ourselves so this is a really common thing which again i have done many times over and i’m sure you have as well but no one really talks about the normality of failure nobody ever really gives you permission to be like hey you know what you are going to try a bunch of things in life and not all of them are going to work and that includes your jobs your relationships your friendships maybe the cities that you live in it can apply to basically everything like you can think about moving to bali and think that that is a wonderful idea and then you know eventually you decide to go in on it and rearrange your life so that you can go move there and then when you get there you discover hey i’m not really a beach life kind of person but you would never have known that unless you went and tried it but so many people would do something like this in their life take a big bold action step think that they’re going in towards something that they want and then figure out that it’s maybe not what they really want and then use that as something against themselves like i should never have tried it that was too hard that was really stupid i made the wrong choice what if there were no wrong choices what if we are all just here to experiment and play and to figure things out as we go which in fact that is why we’re here so this brings me back to the idea of creating yourself instead of finding yourself you are not lost you are not wandering around out there missing some peace that you are going to magically find and then feel whole it is up to you to create yourself and you get to shift in whatever direction you decide think about that bali example for a moment and even if you were that person who had this big bold dream that didn’t quite work out the way you wanted it to you are always after that point going to be the person who tried the person who moved to bali who figured it out who did all the things you are going to be this person who knows that they can do something that big and that bold and it’s by the way totally okay if the examples in your life are not as big and massive as moving to a foreign country what i’m saying here is that the little failures along the way are also lessons they give you grit they give you strength and most of all they give you knowledge and the more strength and knowledge you develop on your journey the more powerful you become in anything you decide to do so you might be tempted in your brain to think that moving to bali was a mistake and that you shouldn’t have done it and you should have picked something else but what if in fact that mistake is bringing you closer to what you want and to the person who you were ultimately meant to be going all in on that idea for yourself is how you start to create that part of you the person who is bold enough to chase their dreams even if you know we can’t control everything and things didn’t exactly work out the way we thought they were going to the very fact that you dreamed up something big and that you went all in on it that is a huge thing i cannot overstate that enough because there are so many people out there who are trapped in just thinking about what they want and never quite going in on it because they’re afraid that it might not work out and they’re right it might not work out but would you rather live a life where you tried to make beautiful things happen and you had epic experiences along the way and some really high moments and maybe some low moments or would you rather be the person who gave into the fear and never really tried to do anything and at the end of the life you are wondering if you could have done any of the things that you thought about but never actually went in on creating your life starts with action and action is always a scary thing because there are no guarantees but you will never know what you are really made of you will never know what kind of big bold beautiful life you can create for yourself unless you go out there and give it a shot so if you think about it this way if you stop worrying about finding yourself and thinking that if i go to the right beach at the right time some wise man is going to come along and give me advice that is going to change my life what if it was the very act of you going after the things that you desire that will bring you to the right experiences that will expand you in the right way that will ultimately make you that happy confident person that you really want to be that is your creation power in motion and that is how you create yourself you do not create yourself by sitting around on the sofa over analyzing and having anxiety about all the things that are available to you the only way you create yourself as a human here on this beautiful planet is to go out there and get a little messy and give yourself a chance to figure it out remember life isn’t about perfection and again there’s no finish line and there is no one perfect sentence or idea or belief or goal that is going to make everything else in your life make sense and if you’re okay with that if you’re okay with the unknown if you’re okay with the journey if you’re okay with trusting yourself to figure it out you are going to take yourself so much farther than if you sit around trying to think about things ahead of time figure out all the right answers and then move forward you truly can waste your entire life sitting around thinking and waiting for the right moment and the right moment is never going to come so if this video has found you today i want you to know that it happened for a reason there is a reason you saw this here today and i am asking you to go all in on creating yourself and stop worrying about finding yourself the act of actively participating in your life is what makes you a creator so please go out there and start creating and i cannot wait to see what you come up with so that is it for today’s video thank you so so much for being here today i really do appreciate you hanging out here with me online if you liked this please go ahead and give me a like if you have a question for me in a future ask a coach go ahead and leave it below and other than that i will see you in next week’s episode i’m wishing you so much love and have so much fun creating yourself
