Feel conflicted between shame and desire? Here’s what you need to know:
Are you not committing to make a REAL intention? Shame might be what’s preventing you from doing that! Watch to learn the two main ways shame trips us up when it comes to our desires.
Video Transcript: Shame & Desire
Hi, guys! It’s Jenn. Welcome back to my channel. Today, we are going to talk about shame and desire.
The reason I want to talk about shame and desire is because I think they are so highly related. I think shame is one of those things that we all have to struggle with. We’ve all been given the burden of shame, and it is up to us to free ourselves from that. Because, what it really comes down to is that shame is actually always self-inflicted. No one can make you feel shame without your permission.
We Often Feel Shame About What We Want
There are two ways that shame influences our desire. Number one is we often feel shame about asking for the things we want in life. That includes asking for bigger and better things, asking for more, asking for anything more than what you have. There is no denying that North America or any Western society is a pretty puritanical state. If you are like me, when you were a kid, you were probably raised to be sort of humble, to not be greedy. All of those things are sort of given to you as a benchmark, and so you kind of go completely in the other direction. Instead of asking for your heart’s desires, you get really used to minimizing what you want to ask for. You get used to putting yourself on the back burner. You get used to ignoring those little feelings inside of you.
Shame Confuses Us
All of those things, all of that minimizing, all of that ignoring our desire and not being in touch with the things we want and not vocalizing and standing up for the things we want, it all comes from this shame that has been given to you by your parents or your teachers or your friends or whoever. But we are all here on a unique mission in life. You are here to do something completely different than your parents, than your best friend, than your boyfriend. So, it is up to you to listen to your heart and soul’s desires in order to figure out what that thing is. And this may have to do with your career; it may not have to do with your career. So, don’t worry if you’re thinking I’m telling you to go get a new job. That is not what I’m saying at all.
Your mission in life is like your North Star. It is the direction that you were always headed in, and you can bring that to your career even if it has nothing really to do with the thing that you think you’re here to do on this earth. There is always a way to tie it all together. And if you were looking for clues about what your mission is, I’ll do another video about that stuff. But the point I’m trying to make here is that if you don’t listen to your desires and if you don’t pursue your desires, you are going to be pursuing someone else’s desires. You are not going to be authentically you; you are not going to be in your true power.
This is what happens when you, if you’ve ever had that moment in your life when you’ve woken up one day and realized something is wrong with your life, that means probably that you were pursuing something because you thought you should and not because you truly wanted to. I mean, I’ve had this experience a few times; I’m sure you guys have too. It is such a weird realization to understand that we have been misinterpreting what we were here to do, and we’ve been putting our energy and attention on the wrong things. And I’ll say it is not really going to be the wrong things because it eventually led you to this conclusion, and it’s all part of your life’s journey. It’s not like there’s a mistake that you can’t take back.
But the more authentic you are and the more true you are to your own heart and your own desire, and the better off and more happy your life will be. So, I cannot state this enough how important it is to throw away all of that old programming about being greedy, about being needy, about wanting too much, about being too big for your britches. All of that stuff that you were sold as a kid, you have to disregard all of that, and you have to disregard all of the other opinions that everyone else has put on you over the years and just listen to what you want. There really is no point in living this life for anyone but you. Trust me on this; you were the only one at the end of the journey. So, make sure the journey is worth it to you.
Drop Your Fear
The next reason we need to talk about shame and desire is that many times, people are afraid of asking for what they want because they already feel the fear of failing. So, this is what happens when you maybe know what you want to go after, maybe you want to go after this big crazy promotion at work, but you’re really afraid to put yourself out there. You’re really afraid to take that into your actions and really start pursuing it because you’re afraid that you’re not going to get it.
This is really harmful because you are shutting yourself down before you’ve ever even had the chance to do the thing you want to do. And we make it seem like such a big deal if we fail. “Oh, people are gonna laugh at us, people are gonna think badly of us, people are going to have all these opinions about us.” And I can tell you with 100% confidence, nobody really cares. I mean, I don’t mean that to sound badly, but we are all focused so much on our own life; we really don’t have that much time to think about other people’s stuff that much.
Maybe there’s a mean girl that you know that would be mean enough to say something about it, but you really don’t need that kind of person in your life. If you have those people in your life, whether they’re enemies or frenemies, it’s time to cut it out because we just don’t need that. So, the trick here, I think, is to just stop worrying about failing because failing doesn’t really have to happen. The only person who can tell you that you failed is you. The rest of everything else, everything that you expect to happen and doesn’t go your way, can just be a learning experience. It doesn’t have to be the end of the road.
I always say this, but someone once told Oprah she was fired from her job for not being a good journalist. And if she had just stopped and let that person dictate her life, we would not have Oprah. Can you imagine the world without Oprah? Because I can’t really. So, you cannot let something get in your way, and you cannot let that one minor setback mean so much about you. Because even if you go for the promotion, even if you start pushing yourself at work and you don’t get the promotion, maybe someone else in your office will notice your hutzpah and be like, “Wow, this person is a really amazing worker, and you know what? I have a friend in another company that’s looking for somebody, and I am going to make a reference for them.”
When you show up in life as your best, brightest, shiniest self, you never know what can happen. And if you are going for a goal, if you’re pushing yourself toward something and it doesn’t quite work out the way you thought it was going to, that doesn’t mean it’s the end. That doesn’t mean you have to give up and go back home. So, if you are worried about failing, if you are worried about not going after something because you think you might fail, you are just denying yourself the chance to grow and expand.
You Need To Follow Your Desire
I’ve talked about this in my other videos before, but we live in a universe of constant expansion, and we should all be constantly expanding also. If you are not constantly expanding and evolving and growing, then something has gone wrong. So, please take that into consideration. Growth doesn’t always feel good, but it is what you are meant to do. And if you are talking yourself out of your goals, then you are definitely stagnating. So, please take that to heart because growth is your natural state, and it does require you to get a little uncomfortable sometimes. I’m not gonna lie, but that is what you’re supposed to do here on Earth.
I hope that this video helps to give you guys a little base of a mindset shift around shame and desire and intentions because I still see so many people out there that have such wishy-washy intentions that they’re trying to manifest. And I always say, just don’t. If you’re trying to manifest wealth or love or abundance, it is just you haven’t even really forgotten. You have to get really, really clear on what you are bringing in. So, please do not let shame get in the way of speaking your specific desires and creating your specific intention. You have to get specific with this stuff, or we’ll never know if it worked for you.
That is my video for today. I hope you guys enjoyed this. My name is Jen. I run a blog called theanlignedlife.co. Please come on over and check us out. I have a link in the description box below, and if you sign up for updates over there, I will send you my free Law of Attraction intention-setting audio, which is an amazing way to keep yourself focused on your goals and desires each and every single day. Thank you guys again for watching.
I will be back here later this week with another video. I’m committing to being here twice a week on YouTube, so please make sure you hit that subscribe button if you want to stay around for updates, and please hit the like button if you like this video. That would help me out a lot. Thank you again for watching. I’ll be back here soon, and just remember, get ready for the miracle. Namaste.
Thank you so much for watching!