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The Aligned Life

Jenn Stevens | Spiritual Life + Business Coach

Let’s Get Shameless: Heal Shame To Step Into Your Power

by: Jenn

Jenn Stevens with text Let's Get Shameless! Heal Your Shame To Step Into Your Power

Everyone experiences shame during their lifetime. But while this is a normal human emotion, our shame wounds can create a lot of barriers for us later on in life.

Shame is the lowest vibration emotion–and if you’re holding onto a lot of shame, there’s a good chance it’s holding you back from creating the life you really want to life. Find out more about the shame wound, where it comes from and get started on healing yours in this very important self-healing training!







Thank you so much for watching!

Jenn Stevens The Aligned Life




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Let's Get Shameless! Heal Your Shame To Step Into Your Power

Filed Under: Video Tagged With: dealing with shame, inner child, reparenting, shadow work, shame, shameless, subconscious mind

Shadow Work Training: What It Is & Why You Need It

by: Jenn

photo of Jenn Stevens with text that reads Shadow Work: What It Is & Why You NEED It Training

Are you familiar with your shadow? If the answer is no, maybe it’s time to change that! We ALL have a shadow and unfortunately, that shadow trips us up in ways that we’re not even consciously aware of. If you don’t understand and acknowledge your shadow, then you’re going to be doomed to keep repeating old patterns. So this is especially important if you’re continually falling into the same traps or can’t quite seem to manifest what you really want.

Find out WHY you need shadow work and get tips on how to get started in this shadow work training!







Thank you so much for watching!

Jenn Stevens The Aligned Life




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pastel background with text Shadow Work: What It Is & Why You NEED It Training

Filed Under: Video Tagged With: shadow work, shadow work training

Top 5 Most Common Love Blocks (& How To Break Through Them!)

by: Jenn

Top 5 Most Common Love Blocks (& How To Break Through Them!)

A few weeks ago I wrote a post which was all about overcoming the most common blocks around manifesting money.

And you guys seemed to love it! So much so in fact, that few people wrote in to ask if I could do a similar one about love.

Which only makes sense since the two most popular topic requests I get are love and money.

We’re all programmed to want love. Without even trying, we get obsessed with it. We crave it and when we don’t have it, it’s all too easy to get consumed by finding it.

Love is the most universal human experience. So then why is it so elusive for some of us?

Part of the answer is of course our own blocks about love. The deeply held limiting beliefs we hold can secretly trip us up and sabotage our own best efforts.

This is exactly why doing the inner work is always an important part of manifestation. When we don’t do the work, we’ll just keep repeating our same old broken patterns.

While this guide is an excellent jumping off point, just remember that real shadow work will take much more than just a single post to truly achieve. But this is the journey of a lifetime: we’re constantly going to be uncovering limiting beliefs, behavioral patterns or other things that keep us stuck.

Awareness is always the first step! So I hope that this quick guide to love blocks will help to shed some light on where you might be feeling stuck around love.


5 Most Common Blocks To Manifest Love


Common Love Block #1:

I’m Unlovable


Feeling unlovable or undeserving of love is the Number One culprit in preventing a true loving partnership from manifesting.

Here’s what this type of limiting belief can sound like: “No one can love the real me!” “If I show someone who I really am, they’ll never stick around.” “Why would she even be interested in someone like me?”

In reality, you do NOT have to be perfect to deserve love! There are loads of imperfect people out there in relationships. If this line of reasoning was true, only Beyonce would be the only married person in the world!

(Just kidding of course! She’s not perfect either. ???? )

The real problem with this block is that we often don’t even admit what the problem actually is. Instead, we try hard to overcome it by pretending really hard to be perfect. (“If I can hide my flaws or become the perfect partner, then maybe this person will love me!”)

However, you can’t pretend to be someone else forever! If that sounds exhausting, it’s because it is. If you enter a relationship pretending to be happy and perky (when you’re usually not so much), then one day the mask will come off and your partner will be left wondering where “the real you” went.


The Cure:

The only cure to feeling deeply unlovable is to shift into radical self-acceptance. That means getting cozy with you TRUTH: your past, your body, your mistakes, your imperfections. Your whole glorious enchilada needs a boost!

One of the most popular self-help exercises of all time is the I Love You exercise. To do this, stand in front of a mirror and really take a moment to see yourself. (In other words, this isn’t the time to think about plucking those eyebrows!) Keep looking straight into your eyes and say the words out loud: I love you.

(For bonus point, do this in front a full-length mirror–naked!)

This exercise is TOUGH for most of us! Because let’s face it, (ha!) we’re used to looking into the mirrors to see what needs to be fixed–so we can fix it and get back to being “lovable” again.

We’re used to looking for cowlicks, new zits, cellulite, weird hairs, skin that’s too white, legs that are too skinny/fat/muscular. We’re not used to thinking anything particularly nice about ourselves much less something as radical as “I love you”.

But the person you find staring back at you is about so much more than the physical body. These meat suits are just temporary! No matter what you see, the bottom line is that you are deserving of LOVE–from yourself and from others.

Top 5 Most Common Love Blocks (& How To Break Through Them!)


Common Love Block #2:

I Don’t Want To Get Hurt



The fear of getting hurt often gets in the way of us manifesting love. However, if you’re serious about finding love, there’s really no way around this one. There’s always certain amount of risk in getting close to someone, whether that’s a romantic relationship or even a friendship. Fundamentally, if you open up your heart to someone you’re also taking the risk that person can hurt you.

This fear almost always stems out of past hurt (or from witnessing someone else’s past hurt!). Becoming aware of the risk we are taking makes it more difficult to take the jump! But letting the past affect our future is not an empowered way to go for life.

There’s never a guarantee that someone will love you (or even like you!) forever. And there’s no guarantee that someone will keep your secrets safe, tell you the truth and treat you like gold 100% of the time.

(And no, not even wedding vows are guarantees!)

When we open the doors to feel something wonderful, there’s always a chance that we’ll eventually feel something not so wonderful too. But the only other option is not feeling anything at all. So please just remember that you will be always okay, despite that fact! And if you want to find true love, you must become willing to take that chance.


The Cure:

It’s important to realize the truth here: no one can hurt you except you! Yes, other people can disappoint you or betray you. But the reason we feel hurt is because we allow that stuff to mean something about ourselves.

For example, it’s common to make something like cheating mean something about us (like we’re unlovable or broken) But those are just our inner reflections–not the truth. In reality, it probably had little to do with you and a lot to do with your ex-partner.

Maybe you’re just dating someone who’s emotionally stunted and would rather cheat on you than step up and admit that they’ve checked out. Or maybe they’re not the relationship type at all! But whatever the real reason might be, make no mistake that it’s their shit to deal with. It’s not a reflection on you, no matter how shitty it feels at the time.

(Note: it’s a whole lot easier to see this truth after some time has passed from the initial hurt!)

However, being dumped (or betrayed etc.) isn’t the only thing that hurts. Loneliness, self-hatred and self-punishment also feel pretty icky. If you’re just exchanging one pain for another, then you might as well go all in on what you really want.


Common Love Block #3:

I’m Afraid Of Being Vulnerable



Finding a romantic relationship always involves opening up and showing your true colors. While vulnerability can be terrifying, it’s also a necessary element of intimacy.

When it comes to romantic relationships, the thing we all crave the most is intimacy. We want someone to really see us for who we are.

It just feels so damn good when that happens! You don’t have to pretend to be anyone or to worry that you’ll scare someone away.

If you’re craving romantic love, it’s important to realize that much of you’re actually craving is intimacy. You just can’t get that kind of connection without it!

However, many of us still put on a mask and pretend to be something that we’re not (happier, smarter, perkier, funnier, whatever!). But every time you put on the mask you’re blocking any chance of really being seen and accepted by the one you love.


The Cure:

The big realization here is that only YOU have the power to free yourself from this scenario! You can keep craving that intimacy and trust forever (alone) or you can decide to take a chance now and again on a (worthy) person who might just be able to return the favor.

We never get the reward without the risk! Allowing someone to really see you requires actually putting yourself out there.

The world we live in is simply a mirror to our inner world! The love and acceptance you crave truly begins within you! Start giving that unconditional love and acceptance to the people in your world. Stop judging and with-holding and watch how people respond to you! Releasing that shame makes you magnetic.

We all love and crave authenticity and you will be rewarded when you’re brave enough to offer it yourself.


Common Love Block #4:

Everyone Leaves



Hello abandonment issues! Getting dumped is no picnic. Yet it’s also a universal experience. If you’ve been broken-hearted in the past (as we all have) then you might be at risk of blocking yourself from receiving love because you’re too obsessed by the idea that it will happen again.

I dated a guy once who repeatedly asked “How do I know you’re not going to leave me?” It kind of baffled me at the time. I mean, what do I have to give you for proof? A child? A ring? A contract written in blood? We’d not even said “I love you” yet! And in the end, we never did. I didn’t like the paranoia and few people would.

Of course, the fear of being dumped or being left broken-hearted is extremely common. (Just look at those words. You can feel the emotional violence in almost every description of a breakup.) And of course, rejection never feels great. So how do you get over this fear and open yourself up to the possibility of love?


The Cure:

First off, let’s try to rid ourselves of the idea of abandonment altogether. I’m a firm believer in the saying “what’s meant for you will not pass you by”. Which means that sometimes things are just not meant to be–and that’s okay.

Personally, I’d much rather be in a relationship of two happy and invested people, than one happy and invested person and one with their foot out the door. So don’t think of this as abandonment!

Some relationships are simply meant to expire when the two people in it have done all they can do. Staying in it past the due date doesn’t doing anyone any favors! We might not like being broken up with but the truth is that sometimes it’s the best thing for everyone in the end.

Just, love still does bloom–and often! It is still 100% possible to find relationships that are committed for the long haul. If your subconscious doesn’t believe this is a real possibility anymore, then start spending time or mental energy with people that have made this happen.

The fear of abandonment does NOT have to be a life sentence to loneliness! But it’s up to you to do the work to shift it.


Common Love Block #5:

There Aren’t Any Good Ones



You’ve definitely heard this one before:

“Why should I even bother trying to finding a date when there aren’t any good ones left?”

“All the good ones are married or gay.”

“The men/women in this city just don’t commit.”

Etc. Etc.

Maybe it’s just the fault of your geographic location or social circle. Or maybe we can blame the whole mess directly on Tinder.

This block seems so very real at times! But it’s important to remember that we’re always creating our own reality.

The first step is to admit that the world around you isn’t really the problem. It’s really your thinking that’s the issue. So now it’s time to think about whether the thought “There aren’t any good ones” is serving your higher purpose or not.

Because if you keep saying that, your brain will keep looking for evidence to back that up–and you’ll keep finding it! It becomes a very difficult cycle to break.


The Cure:

When you’re busy sticking to your story that there’s no one worthy of meeting, then your radar will always be off. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and if you’re ready to manifest love, it’s time to bust through it.

So let’s start simply by widening your net! It’s time to remember that we live in a universe of infinite possibility! And in reality, there are hundreds or thousands of people moving through your orbit on a regular basis. Surely not all of them are totally undesirable?

Meeting new people is about more than just going to bars. New people are absolutely everywhere, if you’re willing to see them. What about at the grocery store? On the train? In the lobby of your building? Now’s the time to get out of your comfort zone and strike up some conversations with random strangers.

However, don’t make this act purely about dating. That puts entirely too much pressure on each experience.

The idea is to just make some casual connections and see what happens. If you just start talking to people without expectations (or meeting ones from Tinder for a coffee), then you might just unearth a few gems. Even if it doesn’t blossom into romance, you’ll still be reminded that there tons of amazing people out there! And many of those people are worthwhile, quality people who are also looking for love.

Top 5 Most Common Love Blocks (& How To Break Through Them!)




The most important thing to remember when you’re manifesting love is that a relationship is not a cure-all for all your problems. There are too many people out there thinking that if only they had a boyfriend or girlfriend, they wouldn’t feel lonely anymore. But every close relationship will just mirror back all the problems that were already there to begin with. Love is not a cure-all; it’s actually one of our most difficult spiritual assignments.




Again, love might be tough. It might be hard to find. It might even be chaotic at times! But you are still worth it and your dreams of love are worth pursuing! Good luck with this grand adventure.

Wishing you all the ????,

Jenn Stevens The Aligned Life




PS Looking for more? You might also want to check out this post about how to makeover your money mindset or this one about why unconditional love can change your life.




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Top 5 Most Common Love Blocks (& How To Break Through Them!)

Top 5 Most Common Love Blocks (& How To Break Through Them!)

Filed Under: Love, Manifesting + Law of Attraction Tagged With: common love blocks, limiting beliefs, love blocks, love mental blocks, manifesting blocks, relationships, shadow work

Shadow Work: How To Integrate Your Shadow Self

by: Jenn

woman with eyes closed and text Shadow Work: How To Integrate Your Shadow Self

Human beings are a complicated bunch. We all contain good and bad, light and dark.

This means that even as happy and spiritually-inclined as you might be, there’s also another side of you.

Your shadow side: that part that rules us subconsciously, that drives us to act in ways we’re not so proud of, those things about ourselves that we’d rather not see.

The Shadow Self represents those unconscious behaviors, desires, and motivations that we all have. Our shadow self controls a lot of what we do and how we operate in the world.

We all have a dark side. We all have thoughts and emotions that we’re not so proud of.

And they’re each an important part of us.

Shadow work is the path of the heart warrior

~ Carl Jung


Typically, when we act from our shadow side, we’re usually reacting. It seems like we’re not actually in charge for that split-second because it’s our subconscious mind taking over. So unless you do this shadow work, you’re doomed to let this part of you control you eventually.

However, these instinctual actions are not intentional and very often not representative of us! Acting out can lead to even more stress. Not only are we hiding away how we actually feel but now we’re also defending our actions. It’s not a good place to be.

Embracing our shadow side involves taking a brutally honest look within and accepting what we find. But doing shadow work will always lead us to a happier state of being. Learning how to integrate our shadow is challenging work but ultimately allows us to lead a more fulfilling life.

So if you’re ready to do some work and take a deeper look at yourself, here are some suggestions to get you started.


How To Integrate Your Shadow Self


How To Integrate Your Shadow Step #1:

Find The Shadow



Begin by simply trying to figure out where your shadows lie. Look for tell-tale signs of discomfort like guilt or embarrassment or things that you try to avoid. When you really don’t want to address something, you’re probably on the right track!

We all have things that we avoid or put off dealing with. Sometimes they’re things we’re fascinated with but would never tell anyone about. All of these things have a lot to say about us. Do you avoid confrontation with a loved one? Talking about money? Being honest about some area of your life? Lean in and see what you and learn. Look for patterns or similarities in various situations in your life. (Some might have existed for years or even decades!)

You might also find clues to your shadow in other people. Our world is a mirror of us and the things we notice about it are often present within ourselves. So when something about someone else really bothers you, you’re likely to just be focusing on an aspect of yourself. Our own harsh judgments are clues to understanding ourselves.


How To Integrate Your Shadow Step #2:

Aim For Understanding



Instead of hiding away our secret feelings, it’s time to find their root cause. The shadow self is typically formed from the things we repress. Whether consciously or subconsciously, somewhere along the way you’ve been taught that some aspects of yourself are bad or undesirable. So you learned how to get really good at hiding them away.

But those aspects of you are still there. They’re real and important. Hiding them away is just a band-aid solution. You deserve to express your true desires and emotions. It takes courage to confront those things in ourselves that we’d rather not see but it’s the only way to gain control over them.

If someone else has triggered you, take a step back and look inside yourself. We might be outwardly condemning the way someone else behaves but we might actually be jealous of that person’s verve or confidence. Sometimes other people acting in ways we only wish we could act makes us go a little crazy! So try to recognize if this dynamic is happening within you.


How To Integrate Your Shadow Step #3:

Release Your Guilt



Guilt has a powerful hold over us that is mostly unnecessary. All those “should” thoughts (“I should do/feel/think/be something else”) arise from guilt. Those “should” feelings were imposed on us by society. But guilt is not natural; it’s learned!

We carry around the heavy weight of guilt rather than express what we really want to express or do what we really want to do. And most of the time guilt is much more damaging than our actual feelings! So look at your guilt. Look at your shame. Try to find where it came from. And ask yourself is that guilt really helping you? Is it serving you at all? Is it helping you lead a better life or is it making your world smaller?

Aim to remove your feelings of guilt and shame and accept yourself and all of your uniqueness. We all have dark and light aspects. Integrating the two makes the dark less scary and less likely to have any power over you.


How To Integrate Your Shadow Step #4:

Express Yourself



If there’s a safe way for you to let your shadow self out, then it’s time to explore it. Do the things you really want to do or at least try them on for size!

You may have to play with the expression to find something that is safe and healthy. If anger is part of your shadow side becoming angry or violent could be dangerous. But learning to channel that energy safely (by taking a kickboxing class, for example) can safely tame your urges.

Look to your existing creative outlets. Can you write/ draw/ dance out your emotions? Expression is the goal here (not aiming to create master works of art!). Doing something that makes you feel good is all that’s required. (You never have to show your work to anyone else. I promise!)


How To Integrate Your Shadow Step #5:

Stay Open



Working with our shadow is not a one-time-only event! It’s an ongoing process. So don’t berate yourself when these moments rise to the surface. The more loving attention you can shed on your shadow self, the less dark and scary that side of you will become.

Just know that the shadow won’t ever go away completely. We all have light and dark sides and both are meant to teach us something. You’ll be triggered over and over again during this life, and every time is an opportunity to get to know yourself more intimately.




Learning how to integrate your shadow is an important step to leading a more aligned and fulfilled life! I hope this article helps you on your journey to self-discovery. Please remember to share it if you found it useful!

Jenn Stevens The Aligned Life



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woman with eyes closed and text Shadow Work: How To Integrate Your Shadow Self

Filed Under: Self Work, Shadow Work Tagged With: Carl Jung, integrate shadow, integrate your shadow, shadow self, shadow work

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Hey there Goalgetter! I’m Jenn – Bestselling Author | Spiritual Life & Business Coach | Creator of The Aligned Life and I teach you how to mind hack your way to your manifestation dreams!

 

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Right now, your SOUL is calling for your magic.S Right now, your SOUL is calling for your magic.So are you ready to answer the call?I know life doesn't seem so magical at times.And I also know that when you're down or feeling defeated it's REALLY EASY to forget one simple thing.The magic is IN you.And it always has been!Every time we tell ourselves that we're not strong enoughOr good enough or smart enoughOr that we need someone or something ELSE to swoop in and "fix" usWe're opting out of using OUR power.But none of that stuff means that you AREN'T magic.It simply means that you've FORGOTTEN and fallen out of touch.But every day brings us a new opportunity to connect with our TRUTH.So what are YOU going to do with your magic today?How can YOU decide to change your life for the better, even if only by the tiniest degree?If you feel like sharing, drop me a comment below!And if you need a little help unlocking your magic, then reach out! I'm looking for a few special souls who are ready to undo their old ways of being so they can BLOSSOM into their dream life. Is that you? Send me a DM to learn more!
The present creates the past.Or, in other words, The present creates the past.Or, in other words, your STORY about the who, the what, the why IS the only thing that matters.Mindset work won't change the facts of course.It's not going to go back in time to change things or make other people suddenly see the light.(Damnit!)But it can change the person you BECAME because of what happened.Sometimes we close ourselves off to our own miracles because we're clinging so hard to those old stories.When we think that because the past is set in stone, our stories have to stay the same too.I get it though! I used to be SHOCKINGLY ATTACHED to my sob story, firmly stuck in victim mode.All the time DREAMING about where I wanted to go--and confused as to why I wasn't there yet.Fortunately (after a lot of STRUGGLE) I opened my mind to change, massive shifts and MIRACLES.That's why I can tell you that getting stuck in wishing things were different cuts us off from both our power in the present and our ability to process.So know this my beautiful soul: the only liberation we need is our own.When you get brave enough to finally DO that, your whole world really will change.(& PS if you need a little help creating your own miracle, I have a few coaching spots open! Wanna learn more about how to apply this powerful work to your life? Send me a DM & let's chat!)
And now for a quick message from your Higher Self: And now for a quick message from your Higher Self:Love yourself enough to LET IT GOBreathe deep & have a happy Sunday my beautiful babes!
You are magic itself.And your desires have meani You are magic itself.And your desires have meaning for the WORLD.So if you really KNEW that you were here to feel happy and do the things that bring you joy, what would you be doing differently?If you’re like me, it’s too easy to forget our true divine nature.It’s too easy to believe our worries and limitations more than we trust ourselves and this beautiful journey.But if you could trust your magic for just a moment, what would change?If you knew your dreams where a matter of WHEN not if, how would this moment be different?All the magic you ever needed is IN you already. All you need to do right now is TUNE into it!
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with love + miracles ✨
~ Jenn
Identity shifting is KEY to manifesting.Because Identity shifting is KEY to manifesting.Because you ALWAYS manifest from your subconscious mind.Meaning you WILL play out old programs and ideas over and over again.Until YOU decide enough's enough! And do the work to REPROGRAM your mind to reflect what it you want and who you need to be.But sometimes, this work doesn't FEEL like it's doing anything.Those little tiny shifts on the inside are close to invisible--which might even make you doubt that it's happening at all.But trust me gorgeous, it IS.Keep taking tiny steps forward.Keep doubling down on who you WANT to be.TRUST the process and understandThat little by little, bit by bitIt all adds upUntil one day you look around and realize: I'm already there.
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with love + miracles ✨
~ Jenn

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