Almost every single week I get a message from someone who is:
A. Obsessing over that perfect person (who’s taken or lives in another country or doesn’t know they exist)
B. Wondering when the person they’re seeing is going to wake up and finally fall madly in love with them (Because right now they’re dating other people, ignoring your texts etc.)
So trust me when I tell you that Love Zombies are everywhere these days!
But the real problem is that those of us who are prone to Love Zombie-ism might not even realize our brains (and love mojo) have been temporarily snatched away from us.
That being said, I have much love sympathy for the Love Zombies amongst us! Because I’ve been there. (Oooooh boy have I!) So I know how crazy and out-of-control the experience can be.
And I do have a whole lot of advice for those who’ve caught the Love Zombie bug! So much I thought the topic warranted its own post.
It’s part of human nature to look at potential loves with rose-colored glasses. But the reality of this situation is that while the Love Zombie thinks something incredible is happening, the reality is wildly different.
But just knowing where you are is the powerful first step! There’s still hope. You can take control back. Here’s how to do that:
How To Stop Being A Love Zombie
Love Zombie Tactic #1
Drop The “Twin Flame” or “The One” Narrative
Here’s my somewhat controversial opinion on this matter: I don’t really believe in Twin Flames. But for me personally, it’s the right choice.
However, let me also state that I’m not saying they don’t exist. They might! I haven’t had this experience so I can’t really speak to it.
But here’s the harsh truth: 90% of the time when I see someone freaking out about their “twin flame” it’s someone who is already married, in a relationship, leaving you on read etc. This is usually just a Love Zombie situation, not a real twin flame! People can be really good at justifying even the worst possible behavior
This idea of there only being one person for you out there is the ultimate in scarcity mentality! So of course, if you’re totally convinced that your brother’s mysterious-yet-distant best friend is The One you might go into crazy-land trying to make it all happen. It’s given you tunnel-vision in the worst possible way.
Here’s a case in point: The Bachelor. I don’t watch The Bachelor personally again because it’s just scarcity mode in action! When you get a bunch of people competing over a “scarce” resource, the crazy can’t help but come out. So why would you apply that to your own life?
Please remember your power as a Conscious Creator and know that you can choose to live in a world that’s chalk-full of wonderful potential soulmates–if you decide to! Ultimately, we all get to believe in whatever we want to. But please be honest about whether your desires are hurting you or helping you in the end!
Love Zombie Tactic #2
Take Them Off The Pedestal
When you’re in the middle of a perfectly good obsession, it’s hard to remember the truth: no one is perfect. We all have baggage and flaws and weird hairs/cellulite/etc. But when you’re in the middle of Love Zombie-ism, you automatically start looking past all that.
When emotions run high, we tend to don rose-colored glasses, without even realizing it. Yet the higher you put someone on a pedestal, the more difficult you’re making your own reality. All that glamorizing is creating an energetic imbalance and leaving you holding the short end of the straw.
Remember that your true goal is a solid partnership—with a real live flawed human being! When you find yourself over-embellishing the wonderful-ness of a potential (or real) partner, it’s time to come back down to earth. Painting someone with the illusion of perfection ultimately sets your relationship dynamic up for a huge fall and reflects negatively on your own self-worth! So please don’t over-idealize anyone to the point that you start to feel inadequate.
Love Zombie Tactic #3
Trust The Universe
There’s a grand plan for you, as there always has been. The Universe always knows best! But whether or not the person you’re currently thinking about is going to be a long-term part of that plan remains to be seen! You really don’t have to spend your time running around and worrying about this because it’s already all in perfectly in motion.
As always, when it comes to love and manifesting (and magic for that matter!) I urge people to concentrate on calling in the right love for them, instead of deciding they know already know who that is.
Please always remember this: the one who is meant for you will show up for you. You won’t have to convince them of anything or sit around waiting for them to figure it out. They’ll be open and ready and way into you. You won’t have to sit around wondering about it because it will be obvious.
You are worth so much more than wishy-washy-ness! So please continue to focus on what you really want instead of settling for something that so isn’t it.
Love Zombie Tactic #4
Drop Your Projections
When you either have a crush on someone or are dating someone who’s not fully into it, you have to realize that the beautiful scenes playing out in your mind are just a projection.
It’s lovely to dream big and expect the best out of people. But you also have to acknowledge people for exactly who they are! One of the biggest relationship hurdles is falling in love with a mirage: we really want someone to be something so much so that we become blind to the reality of the situation.
But let’s face it: with a crush or a new relationship, you’re filling in a lot of blanks in your head. And you’re always filling in those blanks favourably. However, as a real relationship develops you might find yourself becoming extremely disappointed by some random events. It’s not that this person misrepresented themselves! It’s that you were unwilling to acknowledge the reality.
Again, in the end, it’s a healthy and happy relationship that we’re ultimately after right? So please do yourself a favor and believe people when they tell you who they are. Because there will be no happily ever after with a mirage!
Love Zombie Tactic #5
Respect The Free Will
No matter how much you like someone and are convinced they are your Twin Flame or The One, you’ve got to take a step back and breathe. That person, no matter how perfect they appear to be to you, is on their own journey round the sun, just like you are. They’ve got their own issues, preferences and opinions and they’re also on their own timeline.
That’s all just a way of saying that, no matter how inconvenient it might be to our desires, we still have to respect the free will of others. You wouldn’t want anyone interfering with your right to create your life! So you have to extend the same courtesy to other people (yes, even those who you know are just right for you if only they’d dump their girlfriend and give you a chance.)
Again, this goes back to acknowledging the reality of any given situation. If you’re trying waaaay too hard to make someone like you, then it’s time to take a step back and let reality sink in. (Control freaks, this one’s for you!)
Love Zombie Tactic #6
Remember Your Power
One of my favorite Law of Attraction quotes is this: That which you seek, is also seeking you.
So please remember how true that is! Your partner is out there somewhere waiting for you–but if you’re wasting time pining about the wrong person or waiting for someone to hurry up and realize how awesome you are, you’re just creating more delays on the path to meeting them.
Remember that you are infinitely beautiful and powerful and deserving. And you won’t have to convince the right people of that fact! They’ll see you for you and they’ll be freaking honored to be there.
So please don’t give your immense power away to the wrong person. What’s meant for you won’t miss you–so let go of the fool’s gold and hold on strong knowing that your person is already on their way to you.
So tell me: can you relate to being a Love Zombie? What tactic are you going to take to get your power back?
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts below. Have a lovely week!
PS Looking for more? You might also want to check out this post about the top 5 most common love blocks or this one about how to declutter after a breakup.
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