How To Blow Your Own Damn Mind | There are only 3 MONTHS left in this DECADE! So what are YOU going to do with it? I’m making this video to help fire you up so you can start creating AMAZING changes in your life NOW!
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Modern Girl Magic Episode 6: Forging Your Own Path | It’s a FACT: you’ll never be able to recreate success by following someone else. We’re all here on a unique journey which means your success in life is ultimately up to you! Here’s how to get your confidence back about this and how to trust yourself again.
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Think you can’t get everything you want in life?
Think again! Simply believing that you can’t is in fact your biggest barrier to actually having it. But this isn’t your fault! Our parents, teachers, the media etc. does a really good job in this way: reigning in our desires and dreams and telling us to play a little smaller.
None of that was done to purposefully harm us of course! But there’s no denying that it’s a huge problem. That’s why I consider a big part of my job as coach and teacher to simply be about helping people unlearn all the negative programming they’ve picked up over the years.
Similarly, the things that we want are never as far away as we imagine them to be. Creating the life of your dreams is really just a matter of realizing that it’s possible. Once you open the doors to the magic, life has a funny way of flowing its way straight to you.
If you’re truly ready to level up and get everything you want in life, these 8 tips will get you started:
As a reformed non-goal maker, I’ve got to stress the importance of this one! Being intentional and really deciding on what you want is so important to being a Conscious Creator! The world is full of noise; so much so that it’s sometimes hard to stay focused on our own desires. Becoming conscious isn’t a one time thing! It’s about creating the habit of being intentional, each and every day.
So let’s get in the habit! You can set tiny intentions all day long: for how you want your commute, workout or meeting to go. It’s one tiny action that has truly major effects!
In a culture that literally profits from our low levels of self-worth, loving on yourself is a truly radical act. But it’s true: every time you turn on the TV you are bombarded by psychological warfare, telling you that you’re not enough the way you are. It takes some conscious and consistent effort to undo all that damage! I could write a whole post about how to increase your worthiness (and I probably will) but for now please just know that you were born inherently worthy! It’s time to dig into your thoughts and beliefs that say otherwise to begin the healing process.
Learning to love yourself also means learning to love your imperfect past and present. We’ve all made mistakes but the most important thing to know is that those mistakes have turned you into the beautiful person you are today! Too many of us are wandering around carrying the burdens of our past. But perfection doesn’t exist and no one gets through life without a few disappointments. Instead of berating yourself, learn to accept yourself just as you are, bruises and all. The guilt and shame just weigh you down and there’s really no reason to take all that negativity to where you want to go.
It’s a fact: we live in a culture of outrage. Calling people out and being low-key angry is far too socially acceptable! But please don’t ever forget that your thoughts and words truly count. What you focus on will always expand. After all, that’s where you’re choosing to send your energy. So do you really want to moan and groan about the little things in life?
Sure, we don’t live in a perfect world. You’re going to come up against bumps in the road from time to time. But you also don’t have to rage against them! Accepting things as they are and moving on is ultimately the best choice for your precious energy.
Action is an integral piece of the Law of Attraction! But this isn’t about scrambling around and acting out of desperation. It’s about moving forward with total faith, but also doing everything you can in the earthly realm. Taking action is just a strong indication of your determination and sincerity about your goals.
Just don’t let the action freak you out! When it comes to big goals, we often underestimate the power of small steps. But even tiny bits of progress can really add up over time! Just make sure that you’re truly working towards whatever it is that you want for yourself, each and every day.
No matter how much money, adulation, fame etc. that you call into your life, it will all be for nothing if you don’t appreciate what you already have! Culturally, we’re all far too future-focused. While it’s important to be intentional and have goals, it’s also crucial that you stop to appreciate what you’ve already got and how far you’ve come.
So if you haven’t already, it’s time to make gratitude a daily habit. Spend some time each and every day thinking of something in your life and truly feeling gratitude for it. (I like to set an alarm on my phone to remind me of this!) Just start to embrace gratitude as part of your regular routine.
We used to think that once a human grew up that was it; their capacity for growth was already fulfilled. Fortunately, these days we know better! We all have the power to learn new things all the time. But have you embraced the growth? The more curious you can be about yourself, the more you’ll be able to unleash your powerful authenticity! Never let not knowing how to do something stop you. We have unlimited learning resources these days and you really can consciously change anything you decide to! Embracing the learning process will help uplevel your life at lightning speed!
Over time, most of us get caught up in pretty rigid ideas of who we are and what we can do. But those ideas become a small little box that ultimately undermines us. You need to stop judging your future potential based on your past! Most of us tend to think we can only accomplish so much instead of pushing ourselves to the next level. While trying something new or putting in some extra effort can be scary, don’t you also want to find out just how much you’re capable of? Stop telling yourself that you’re “bad with money”, “not good on camera” etc. and start pushing yourself to get a little uncomfortable. See if you can rewrite your own story. After all, you’ll only be able to fly if you can first jump out of the nest!
So tell me: what tip made the biggest difference for you? How are you going to incorporate these techniques into your life? (Like starting today!)
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences with this! Drop a comment below or send me a message. And, as always, thank you so much for being here Starshine! Now go out there and start wowing yourself.
Are you feeling stuck–in life or with your manifesting? You’re definitely not alone! There have been many times in my life I’ve felt stuck, lost and overwhelmed. In this episode, I share one technique to focus in on your real problem so you can get unstuck and start making progress towards your goals and intentions again.
Now I want to hear from you! Did this video help get you unstuck? Did you find it useful for unblocking yourself and moving forward? As always, I’d love to hear your comments below!
Thank you so much for watching & see you in the next video!
Self-actualization: it’s that magical state of walking your walk and talking your talk. When I think of self-actualized people I think of those who’ve found massive success on their own terms. (Gary Vaynerchuk springs to mind!)
These are the people that fill us with envy. Wouldn’t life be so much better if we could just do what X or Y did?
So what separates these superstars from the rest of us?
The thing is there’s often not that much different between you and those you look up to. Of course, being successful requires showing up and putting in the work. But few people are born entrepreneurs or writers or public speakers. Most of those success stories have put in a lot of work to get where they are.
The ability to face your fears.
We all tend to gloss over the reality of successful people’s backgrounds. We think they’re just lucky or extra talented. We don’t realize that those people have had to face many of the exact same obstacles that we do.
Successful people have just as many fears as you do! The only difference is that they have learned how to manage their fear instead of letting their fear manage them. No one is truly fearless! The successful have just figured out how to be afraid and still do the damn thing.
But I get it: many of us don’t even realize just how much fear affects our life! After all, it’s not like you walk around quaking with fear whenever you encounter a new situation, right? So maybe you’re not even aware that fear is getting in your way.
So let me ask you this: what’s the real reason you haven’t asked out the guy or the girl? Or submitted your resume to the company you really want to work for? Or had the tough conversation with your husband or wife?
When we’re willing to be honest, the truth becomes plain as day: fear is what’s holding you back from living your best life.
However, I also don’t blame you for not noticing this truth! And here’s why: fear is really good at hiding itself. Our brain loves to invent a lot of stories about why we don’t need to push ourselves out of our comfort zone.
But those stories are just mental armour of sorts: they’re allowing us to play small while totally avoiding the real underlying reason we’re not taking action.
We sugarcoat our fear. We create stories around it. And we’re so good at doing it that we don’t even realize that we’re doing it!
Change is scary. Putting ourselves out there in new ways is terrifying! And growth doesn’t always feel very good.
But if you’re committed to creating the life of your dreams (and to stepping out of living life by default), then you need to get cozy with your own fears.
The worst thing we can do about fear is deny that we even have it! Because once we can see what our fear really is, it becomes much easier to manage.
The shadows in the closet aren’t scary at all once you turn the light on! So let’s turn the light on inside our own internal closet. Here are the ten most common fears we all must face on the road to success, as well as some advice on how to get over them.
Human beings are planners by nature. We love to know what we’re doing today, tomorrow, next week, even next year. We love things to be in order and to make sense! So we also tend to forget the very nature of reality:
Things fall off the rails All. The. Freakin. Time.
Planning can only take you so far! People change their minds, companies change directions or close down. We’re surrounded by all kinds of things that are outside of our control! But we don’t like to acknowledge that uncertainty.
Planning our life in advance is not a guarantee of anything! There’s that wonderful old saying “make plans and watch God laugh”. Yet we still fool ourselves into thinking that our future is certain, just because we’ve planned it!
Nothing is certain babes, no matter how much you want it to be! But acknowledging our lack of control can actually be a huge relief. When you know certainty is never real, you stop taking responsibility for the things out of your control and that is truly liberating.
One of the most common fears preventing you from making progress is the fear of failure. Think about the things you want to call into your life–and now think about how not achieving them would feel?
The problem here is that we tend to get overly wrapped up in our own narrative. We worry about what other people will think if we don’t achieve our goals! But in real life, no one’s paying that much attention to you. Everybody’s worrying about their own journey, not obsessing over yours.
Besides, failures are really only failures if you think of them that way! Instead, I prefer to think of everything as a learning experience. If you don’t get something right the first time, you get to try again! Sometimes it takes us a few times to get things right but if we just gave up the first time we’d miss out on so much in life.
So don’t make anything all or nothing! You’ll always get something out of the experience even if things don’t work out exactly the way you want them to. But the game’s not over! And only you get to decide what to do with this experience.
Humans are social creatures. At heart, we’re pack animals and that tendency served an important evolutionary purpose. Back when we were out hunting our meals every day, those who lived together had a better survival rate than those who tried to go it alone. Indeed, being shunned by your community was often equal to death.
While we’ve moved on from that experience, our lizard brain hasn’t. So even though we’re not in imminent danger, being rejected by those around us carries a powerful punch. We often experience those same symptoms as the fear of death: racing heart, sweatiness, out-and-out panic.
To combat this fear, just try to remember all the times you were rejected by someone but didn’t actually die (ie. all of them!). It’s very useful to show your brain how you not only survived the situation but also how you probably don’t even care all that much about the rejection anymore. Rejection stings in the moment but it leads most of us to a better space eventually! Reminding yourself of this fact can help get you over your fear of experiencing rejection again.
We have an awfully peculiar relationship with change! While we might have a laundry-list of things we want to change in our life, when it comes down to it we often talk ourselves out of the very things that we want.
That’s because change goes hand-in-hand with the unknown–and the unknown is downright terrifying. Again, our brain loves order. It loves to understand the world around us. When things change, we get very uncomfortable. And even though we might not realize it, our brain is actively trying to avoid change. It interprets all change as dangerous, even though few things are actually physically dangerous in this day and age!
It’s time to face the truth: you can’t create the life of your dreams without pushing yourself out of your comfort zone! It’s time to start embracing the fear of change as just a part of life rather than something you need to avoid.
Control is something we all love to think we have over our life! Again, we love to plan and by planning we think that we also get some control over how the world will work. But that’s definitely not true!
Planning can only get you so far! We can try to plan how things are going to work out all we want but we can’t ever fully predict what will happen in real life until we actually experience it. Research is only so useful. But we learn the most from real life and all the research and planning in the world won’t change that.
To get past this fear, it’s important to realize that there are many factors that are out of your control. Control is always just an illusion! So if you never had it, what’s the harm in losing it? As you can see, it’s ridiculous to let fear of losing control hold you back from what you want.
Tied very closely with our fear of rejection is our fear of judgment. We fear being found to be lacking, especially when the person judging us might not have the entire picture.
The funny thing is, as much as we fear being judged, we’re pretty good at judging those around us! Even when you don’t think of yourself as being a judgmental person, we’re conditioned to constantly judge and rate those around us. (“Hmmmm that girl claims to be spiritual but did she meditate as much as I did this morning?”) That’s exactly where the fear comes from! When you judge everyone else, you think everyone else is judging you too.
Worrying too much about being judged can lead you to living a closed-off life. One way to avoid judgment is to avoid sharing your true nature with the world around you. But closing yourself off to real connection will leave you feeling alone and—duh! disconnected from those around you. The one thing all humans crave is a feeling of connection with those around us. But obviously we can’t do that unless we’re willing to get vulnerable ourselves.
Yes, it can be scary to bare your soul and put yourself out there. But you can’t find true happiness unless you brave that experience. Saving yourself from judgment is never worth the price you must pay!
Tied closely with the fear of judgment is the fear of inadequacy. Being told we’re inadequate is rough. But it mostly hurts because it take away our sense of control. If someone judges us and deems us lacking, we rarely get a second chance.
However, there isn’t anything inherently wrong with being deemed inadequate. In most situations, you can take action to remedy the problem. More practice or learning will get you a long way! Remember, there’s really no such thing as failure. So someone telling you’ve got it wrong shouldn’t be a big deal. You can always go back and learn more–unless you decide that it’s impossible.
The dead-end’s in our life are usually of our own making–and if they’re not, take refuge in the thought that that person or thought just wasn’t meant for you anyway! What’s meant for you won’t miss you, so don’t spend too much time worrying about someone deeming you inadequate.
Wouldn’t it be great to skate through life without any heartbreak, misunderstandings or strife? Of course it would! The problem is isn’t a reality for anyone. Being a human is a tricky business! That means occasionally someone does something that hurts us or we pin our hopes on something without any real-life evidence to back those hopes up.
Most of the time, experiencing hurt is the result of our own unmet expectations. We think the world is going to work a certain way but when it doesn’t we get upset. However, our expectations are just a creation in our own mind! They often have no real reflection of what’s going on in the real world. Essentially, we always just hurt ourselves.
To combat your fear of getting hurt, you have to analyze why you’re feeling the way you are. Where did your expectation come from? Why did you formulate that desire? Once you can see how getting hurt is typically a result of our own errors in thinking, then you can begin safe-gaurding against it by changing your own thoughts.
When things are going well–really well–have you ever looked around and thought to yourself “Things are just too good to be true! Something bad’s going to happen!” This form of self-sabotage is actually a reflection of our upper limit problem. When we’re not used to feeling really good, sometimes we do something drastic to make sure we don’t: missing an important meeting, picking a fight or cheating on a wonderful relationship.
So it’s not that something bad is bound to happen when things are good! It’s that we don’t know how to deal with all that goodness, so we create a negative situation out of our own insecurities.
Feeling good is an art all too itself and sometimes we’re just don’t have that much practice at it. So forgive yourself if you sometimes find yourself expecting the worst! But once you notice it, it’s time to take action. Remember that what you focus on expands! So putting time and effort into thinking those defeatist thoughts will never create anything good. Now’s as good a time as any to stop doubling down on what you don’t want and start embracing what you do.
It’s true: FOMO is real–and it can be debilitating. This fear is a little different from the rest because it deflects our attention from what we really want in life. The way this usually plays out is by taking your focus away from the things that are truly important to you. Our time is limited but that means you have to mindful of where you spend your time! So do you choose working out (and committing to your weight loss goals) or do you choose another Netflix marathon?
FOMO also has another drawback. Wishing you were somewhere else takes your attention away from where you are. But we can only ever find happiness and peace when we land in the now. The past and future (or some other present moment) can only bring anxiety or depression because you are not there. Learning to enjoy the choice you’ve made and the current moment that you occupy will always make you feel so much better in the end.
Above all else, if there’s one thing I want you to take away from this post make it this: fear is normal. It’s natural! And it’s definitely not a sign that you need to stop what you’re doing! We actually start to feel fear right before the moments of our biggest catalysts for change. So fear actually means you’re doing something right, not doing something wrong!
Don’t let fear hold you back from what you want! And remember this process isn’t about becoming fearless. Rather, embrace your fear and decide to take action anyway.
I hope this post inspires you to take action against whatever it is that’s holding you back!
Thank you so much for reading! As always, I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments below.