Jenn Stevens | Spiritual Life + Business Coach
Did you know…your MINDSET is one of the biggest factors in your overall life’s success? Getting a handle on this will make a HUGE difference in your overall happiness & that’s why today I’m sharing 4 tips to help you manage your mindset in order to ATTRACT your desires!
Thank you so much for watching!
How To Marie Kondo Your Own Mind! | When was the last time you spring-cleaned your own mind? That might sound crazy at first but if you’re serious about living as a Conscious Creator, this process has to become a regular habit for you! In this video, I break down why you need to do it and the simple process you need to get started.
Thank you so much for watching!
manifesting video, law of attraction video
Would you like to reprogram your mind…using just your eyes?
That might sound a bit strange at first but one of the most popular therapies in recent years does exactly that thanks to EMDR: eye movement desensitization and reprocessing.
As a coach, I’m intrigued by anything that helps my clients get results. While coaching is future-focused (as opposed to the past-focus of many types of therapy) trauma is still something I must consider when helping my clients move forward. However I’m intrigued by the idea of EMDR–even though they won’t officially allow coaches to use it (yet!).
So while I can’t officially offer EMDR as part of my offerings, I can encourage you to learn about it and explore the practice on your own! And that’s exactly why I’m creating this post today.
After all, if there was a way for you to process and fully release old traumas that didn’t require hours of therapy, wouldn’t you want to give that a try? (Especially if nothing’s worked for you in the past.)
While I can’t conduct a session for you, I’ve had some interesting results playing with this at home. Why not at least give a try if you’re also intrigued by this powerful tool?
The DIY method I’m teaching today costs nothing except your energy and time. If it can give you a shot at life-changing results, then isn’t that worth a shot at least?
The basic theory is that EMDR works like Rapid Eye Movement during sleep (ie. when we get our most intense dreams). We often process experiences and memories during our sleep and it’s thought that EMDR helps us in the same way.
Basically, trauma needs a way to be released. Most of us have no idea how to do this however! Instead, we learn to fear and avoid our intense emotions. That means running away from them and piling behaviors on top of them in an effort to not feel. Those numbing behaviors can be innocuous but they can also easily turn into addictions. Alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction etc are all really just an external response to trauma (not a moral issue as we’ve been led to believe).
Please note: I am not a licensed therapist! You try this at your own risk. However, if you’re looking for a relatively easy way to deal with your past traumas and cannot afford a therapist at this time, why not at least give it a try? You can’t break yourself (and on a related not, you’re not already broken).
However, I’ve been playing with this and find it fascinating. I’ve also read the accounts of several others online who’ve had great results with the DIY method.
So whether you can’t afford a therapist right now or you’re just committed to diving in and doing the healing work ASAP, then I’ve put together a DIY EMDR process just for you:
Find a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed for your DIY session. Choose a comfortable chair and make sure your TV (or phone) is at a comfortable distance and height for your eyes.
Some practitioners recommend that you remove your contact lenses in case the procedure causes dryness. (Eye drops can also help out a lot with that!)
Take a few minutes to tune into your memory or trauma. Let your mind go back to that moment, that age, that word etc. Instead of pushing the uncomfortable feelings away, let them bubble up. Our aim is to work through the emotion so don’t be afraid! Let yourself feel back into the moment.
Once you’ve summoned the memory, then you can hit play on the EMDR video. Then just let your eyes follow the light back and forth.
I like to set a timer ahead of time for 10 or 15 minutes so I don’t have to keep an eye on the clock through the treatment.
Here’s an example video you can try:
Give yourself some time afterwards to chill out and process what’s happened. Sometimes the feelings will be intense but other times not so much. Build a buffer into your schedule anyway to make sure you’re not rushing off to an appointment right after. Napping is a great way to let your brain relax and allow what’s just happened to sink in.
EMDR is not a one-time only affair! Plan on giving yourself 6-8 treatments about the same memory before you feel permanent healing. However, since you’re doing this at home, carving out 15 minutes for yourself once or twice a week shouldn’t be so difficult! Just be sure to keep at it and don’t expect a miracle from just one treatment.
I’d love to hear your experiences with this so don’t hesitate to report back and let me know! Wishing you much ???? and healing!
PS Looking for more? You might also want to check out this post about how to deal with anxiety and depression or this one about how to stop being nice.
As a kid, I was told over and over again that I was “too sensitive”.
Yet funnily enough, one of my biggest life lessons ever was learning that being “sensitive” is actually not a bad thing! It’s part of how I communicate with all of you and have empathy for where you’re at. It’s actually a superpower not a character flaw.
But on the other hand, I can see why my family told me this! When I was a kid I was absolutely ruled by my emotions. I didn’t have a safe space to process them. I didn’t know how to manage them and I absolutely didn’t know what they were really here for.
So I felt ruled by them simply because I didn’t know how to handle them.
While they can still leave me feeling out of control on occasion, I’ve learned a lot about my emotions by tuning into them instead of turning away from them. I’ve learned how my thoughts create my feelings, so I can learn how to turn them around (even if it takes a little time!).
However, that flies in the face of what many manifesting teachers will tell you. Instead, they’ll tell you to keep your vibe high at all costs–which to me leaves a lot of knowledge and power on the table.
Spiritual bypass is where you try to use manifesting (or whatever) to artificially avoid something in your life.
But it’s actually a total myth that you have to be happy 24/7 in order to manifest your desires!
For one thing, that’s impossible. You’re human! Things go “wrong” occasionally. You’ll mess up. Others in your life will mess up. And for another, they won’t drag you down! They’re here to teach you something valuable.
Being in pain and desiring something different is so often the catalyst for a journey of self-discovery.
We just create extra pain for ourselves when we resist our emotions or judge them as being wrong. So why not learn how to look at them as tools for personal growth instead?
Your life isn’t just random and your emotions aren’t either! It’s time to lean in and learn from them before you do the work to shift and heal them. I created this guide to help you get started:
Truth: 99% of the time fear is actually a sign to lean in instead of running away! Our brain just loves to make mountains out of mole hills with the secret real motive of keeping you safe. That means your brain is going to freak out and sense danger any time you get ready to up-level your life.
When you stop thinking that fear is an actual signal to stop, then you gain the freedom to feel the fear and do the damn thing anyway! So don’t fall for your fear lies! Start learning to live with it instead of running away from it.
Anger is a fiery reminder that you’re passionate about something. But honestly, being passionate isn’t a bad thing! It’s a sign of life (as opposed to apathy). Anger often comes up when we see a wrong in the world around us.
While we can’t control everything (too bad!!) honing in on what we feel passionately about can be a great tool for expansion. You can’t change the past but you can use your anger to change the world. (But think big picture, not focusing your rage in one specific person!)
Sadness is a reminder about the incredible power of your caring for the world. While it doesn’t exactly feel good, it reminds us of the intensity and depth of our own love. Anytime we care deeply about something we simultaneously run the risk of losing it or seeing something happen to it.
But caring about something isn’t a bad thing! You get to open yourself to love or close yourself off to the possibility entirely. Once you deeply understand this, sadness becomes a much more bearable side-effect of our deepest relationships.
Anxiety occurs when we try to plan too far into our future. Our brain just loves to believe it can control every last little thing by worrying about it all. But unfortunately, that’s not true! You can plan all you want but the only true test is reality. Your brain might not like that very much because acknowledging that fact means also acknowledging its lack of control. But surrender is a powerful tool.
The more you can step away for your need to control everything, the more you’ll be able to relax into the current moment. Being present and mindful is a truly powerful gift so see your anxiety as a nudge to come back to your now.
Resentment is a clear signal that you’re living in the past. We all have our own Coulda Shoulda Woulda’s; but no matter how much you wish things were different, the past is already over.
Spending too much time in the past will leave you feeling powerless (and maybe even angry) because you can’t change it.
No matter what’s happened to you, it’s time to accept it. While you can’t change the past, you can change your feelings about the past and you still have plenty of opportunity to change your future.
While not as strong as the other emotions, discomfort is another signal to look in and learn. Where are you feeling resistance? Sadness? Unexpected surprise? Discomfort means something is slightly amiss, giving you the signal to either change your thoughts (and attitude) towards something or to change the situation (by setting boundaries, leaving etc.). Either way, just remember that learning what you don’t like in life is always just as valuable as learning what you do!
Disappointment occurs when our reality doesn’t match up to our own expectations. So this one is a sign to pull back and assess: why were you so attached to your vision of how things should be? All too often we cling to our beliefs about the way things “should” be, even without any evidence to back it all up.
Disappointment is very often a sign that we need to release our grip on the “how”. While you can manifest almost anything for yourself, you can’t control every last detail! It’s time to lean back and accept reality, instead of wasting your energy fighting against it.
Guilt is a signal that you’ve let someone take up too much real estate in your own mind. Your life is meant for you alone! Of course we care about the others in our life but at the end of the day, your opinion is the only one that matters.
The reality is that you could live your entire life trying to make others around you happy and still fail! People-pleasing is a losing game. When you feel guilt, it’s a powerful signal to double-down on your own self-love and respect.
Shame is another sign that you’re worrying more about other people’s thoughts and opinions about you than your own. But why let anyone tell you that being you is not enough? Shame trips us up because it puts our brain into fight-or-flight mode. We have a biological need to be accepted because we used to need that acceptance for our own survival.
However, once again, our brain is making much more noise than it needs to. Sure, you might not be perfect and not everyone will like everything you do or say. But the same goes for all of us! Don’t you dare hide your light because of your feelings of shame. Learning that shame comes from other people is the best way to live your life shame-less-ly.
Bitterness is never fun but again it’s just shining a light on what you still need to heal. Holding onto the past and feeling wronged by life is not the way to create a happy new future for yourself! It’s just a signal to release any lingering judgments about yourself or your circumstances (or for the other people in your life).
Letting go is an act of power not cowardice! There’s truly no reason to drag your past around with you. Put a line in the sand and challenge yourself to move forward without those old burdens. You’ll feel so much better for it!
Negative emotions are not something to be afraid of or to deny. Once you’ve leaned into feeling them and understanding their message, then it’s time to shift your thoughts and feelings around them. Every feeling comes from one core phrase or word. You need to stop and listen long enough to find out what yours is before you can do the work of shifting and releasing.
Self-knowledge is always power! The more power you can feel from working with your emotions, the less likely you’ll be to feel powerless about them.
PS Looking for more? You might also want to check out this post about how to face your fears or this one about finding your life purpose.
Unf*ckwithable You Episode 70: You Don’t Have To | Are you resenting something or someone in your life right now? Resentment happens to the best of us–and the funny thing is we often end up feeling resentful of situation we actually wanted for ourselves. In this episode, I share a quick mindset shift that will help you get your power back and start feeling gratitude instead of stress.
Thank you so much for listening! I’d love to hear your comments, questions or episode ideas in the comments below! ????
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