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The Aligned Life

Jenn Stevens | Spiritual Life + Business Coach

3 Life Coaching Tools To Help You Transform Your Mindset

by: Jenn

3 Life Coaching Tools To Help You Transform Your Mindset

Working with a life coach is one of the most transformative experiences you can ever have!

(And yes I’m confident saying that even though I might be a little biased.)

But I get it: there are lots of people out there who still think working on yourself is indulgent or self-obsessed. According to our conservative Puritanical programming, you’re not supposed to dwell on yourself so much because doing so might make you lazy, egotistical or greedy.

However, to me, that’s just a great example of why we need to question all of our programming. You could just nod along and agree with what you’ve been taught. But it might serve you more to question whether or not that idea is really true.

I strongly believe we’re all brought here on planet earth to thrive, to feel love and to be happy. That doesn’t mean we get to be happy 24/7 of course! We need the tough times and contrast to show us what’s really important. (It would be like having bright sunshine 24/7! Eventually you’d not even notice it.)

Despite outward appearances, most of us are not that happy at all! We’ve been conditioned to fall into line and to do what society (our parents, the media, our friends etc.) want us to do. But our own version of happiness is often very different than anyone else’s!

As long as we keep pushing away our feelings, we’ll never know what really lights us up–never mind what makes us truly happy.

That’s exactly why I’m on a mission to bring emotional literacy to the entire planet! Because this work is the complete opposite of being self-indulgent! The more we can make ourselves happy, the less we’ll have to


3 Life Coaching Tools To Help You Transform Your Mindset


Self Life Coaching Tool #1:

Morning Pages


One of the biggest problems with our brain is that it often feels like our mind is an overcrowded subway car. There are just soooo many thoughts and ideas squeezing themselves in there! Of course it’s hard to concentrate or make things organized when all those little thoughts are piled up on each other, all vying for your attention.

Some of you might already know the magic of journalling to help alleviate this chaos! And some of you might be rolling your eyes right now. But trust me on this: simply getting the thoughts out of your brain is one of the best possible things you can do for your mental health.

Morning pages is a practice I first learned in Julia Cameron’s book, The Artists Way. No, this is not a coaching book at all but honestly, this simple practice has made the most profound differences to my own mental well-being. So I’m sure it can do the same for you.



How To Do It:

Take 15 or 20 minutes for yourself in the morning and spend it writing down eery single thought that pops into your mind! Don’t judge the thoughts, don’t try to make your writing neat and cohesive. Your only goal is to get it all out. Once the timer is up, stop writing. I like to throw my sheets away but you might want to keep yours if something interesting came up.


Self Life Coaching Tool #2:

The Model


By bar, one of my favorite coaching tools is The Model by Brooke Castillo. I used to use The 4 Questions by Byron Katie but I think The Model does a slightly better job of getting to the root of any problem.

Essentially, this process is just a great way to realize what’s actually causing you stress. (Hint: the answer is always something that we are choosing to think!)



How To Do It:

Here’s how it works: you fill out the model to fit any (and yes I mean ANY) problem that you facing right now to see where you can start to make some changes.

Circumstance
Thought
Feeling
Action
Result

Here’s an example:

Circumstance: my boyfriend broke up with me
Thought: He didn’t really love me (because I am unlovable)
Feeling: unloved, rejected
Action: isolating yourself, having a pity party
Result: feeling even more lonely and hopeless

Often, once we can get this stuff out onto paper then we can start to untangle where the problem really is! (ie. in our own mind!) In this example, you can see that it’s really the core thought of “I am unlovable” that’s causing the pain.

So what would happen if you switched out the thought? What if you thought your break up was simply because your boyfriend realized that you two weren’t a good match?

It’s hard to see at times but the circumstance (ie. the breakup, in this case) is always neutral. It’s our thoughts about the circumstance that are the painful things. (And don’t freak out if this is hard for you to see for yourself! Sometimes the best thing is really to find a life coach who can help you work through it.)


Self Life Coaching Tool #3:

Goalsetting


It’s harsh but true: your mind is an absolute magnet for chaos and drama! It’s used to waving its arms around like one of those inflatable arm waver things that you see on car lots. Your thoughts are used to bouncing all over the place, repeating all kinds of unhelpful ideas like “I don’t know” and “I can’t do this”. But if you can face those thoughts and let them slip away for a few minutes, you might be surprised to find out just what else your brain can come up with.

But it’s amazing how much you can challenge your brain to figure out if you simply hold out for an answer instead of falling into the brain chaos.



How To Do It:

Think about one of your goals right now and instead of letting the brain chaos take over, let’s challenge ourselves to be constructive for a change.

What’s one step you could take towards it? And the next step? And the next step?

If it’s more helpful, what’s a smaller goal you need to hit first? For example, if you want to make $10,000 in the next month, what do you have to make in the first month? Write it down.

Then write down all the steps you can think of to help get you there.

When you’re patient with yourself, you might just be amazed at how quickly you can go from “I don’t know” or “I can’t do this” to generating a perfectly respectable plan of action all by yourself!

Of course, having a plan does not guarantee that everything will go to plan! But having a plan is the starting point and will get you a lot farther towards your goals than just letting your brain insist that you don’t know how.




So what did you think? Which self life coaching tool are you going to try first? Which one did you have the most success with?



You really can train yourself do get so much positive mind work done, with a little tenacity. And of course, if you want that extra help, then come on over and check out my life coaching services. I’d love to help you apply this work and really make it work for you.



Jenn Stevens | The Aligned Life




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3 Life Coaching Tools To Help You Transform Your Mindset
3 Life Coaching Tools To Help You Transform Your Mindset

Filed Under: Life Coaching Tagged With: life coaching tools, self-coaching

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Hey there Goalgetter! I’m Jenn – Bestselling Author | Spiritual Life & Business Coach | Creator of The Aligned Life and I teach you how to mind hack your way to your manifestation dreams!

 

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And now for a quick message from your Higher Self: And now for a quick message from your Higher Self:Love yourself enough to LET IT GOBreathe deep & have a happy Sunday my beautiful babes!
You are magic itself.And your desires have meani You are magic itself.And your desires have meaning for the WORLD.So if you really KNEW that you were here to feel happy and do the things that bring you joy, what would you be doing differently?If you’re like me, it’s too easy to forget our true divine nature.It’s too easy to believe our worries and limitations more than we trust ourselves and this beautiful journey.But if you could trust your magic for just a moment, what would change?If you knew your dreams where a matter of WHEN not if, how would this moment be different?All the magic you ever needed is IN you already. All you need to do right now is TUNE into it!
————————————————————————
with love + miracles ✨
~ Jenn
Identity shifting is KEY to manifesting.Because Identity shifting is KEY to manifesting.Because you ALWAYS manifest from your subconscious mind.Meaning you WILL play out old programs and ideas over and over again.Until YOU decide enough's enough! And do the work to REPROGRAM your mind to reflect what it you want and who you need to be.But sometimes, this work doesn't FEEL like it's doing anything.Those little tiny shifts on the inside are close to invisible--which might even make you doubt that it's happening at all.But trust me gorgeous, it IS.Keep taking tiny steps forward.Keep doubling down on who you WANT to be.TRUST the process and understandThat little by little, bit by bitIt all adds upUntil one day you look around and realize: I'm already there.
————————————————————————
with love + miracles ✨
~ Jenn
What would it be like to TRULY be enough for yours What would it be like to TRULY be enough for yourself?💜To not CRAVE that outside approval or validation?To forget about other people's opinions or what they say behind your back?To not motivate yourself to move TOWARDS something only because you cannot stand where you are?This just goes to show that as much as we all LOATHE to admit it, so much of what we do is based off of artificially leveraging ourselves UP.If so-and-so would only say "good job"If that person would LOVE meIf I finally did [ insert arbitrary goal here ]THEN I could finally feel good and actually TRULY love myself.Sometimes we all get our wires crossed on this at times. (Myself included!)We focus on the future fantasy that our issues will MAGICALLY disappear once X/Y/Z happens.And we chase the things outside of us, forgetting that the ONLY place our true happiness lies is within ourselves.I'm here to warn you:You could run the whole race of life and NOT get what you think you need from other people.You could meet milestone after milestone and still NEVER feel like you measure up. 😩ORYou could start being enough, right here, right now.Enough = you as you are, flaws, mistakes and all.Enough = you without anyone else.Enough = you.💗Happy Thursday Conscious Creator friends!
————————————————————————
with love + miracles ✨
~ Jenn
It's a FACT of life: you're simply NOT going to fe It's a FACT of life: you're simply NOT going to feel good all the time.And that's okay!Not gonna lie: the last month or so has been rough for me.The darkness of winter + strict lockdowns/limited holiday celebrations were TOUGH.I've definitely had my moments of letting it all get to me.But that doesn't mean anything has gone wrong.It doesn't mean that I'm somehow failing.And it definitely does NOT mean I'm putting more space between me and my manifestation goals.Even with the BEST of intentions, life is 50/50. Expecting perfection at any time will ONLY set you up for disappointment.Feeling frustrated, down, exhausted: those are all normal feelings for anyone experiencing a pandemic (plus general winter blues/ political chaos etc.)So while I don't want to create MORE of those feelings, I'm also not going to judge myself for having them.Making your feelings WRONG does not speed you up back into feeling better. It only creates self-loathing and resistance.Are you feeling the same? Here are a few things that are helping me right now:- Just letting myself cry if I feel like it (Sometimes 10 minutes of a good cry is a sufficient release!)
- Concentrating on pandemic-lockdown friendly goals that I CAN achieve (Doing pilates every day, meditation + Manifestation Journaling)
- Taking a break from drinking (I only drank about once a week anyway! But why not try going without it for a month?)
- Doing more behind-the-scenes entrepreneur stuff (The kinds of things that are so easy to put off for "someday")
- Using my SAD lamp every morning! (I only just got it but I swear it's helping)
- NOT judging myself too harshly if I suddenly don't feel up to doing the work I had planned or posting as much I "should" (Being an entrepreneur brings an EXTRA level of potential self-judgment that's hard to get out of at times.)This is all just a great example of one of the most important lessons of LIFE.You don't get to choose all your circumstances. But you DO get to choose what you do WITH them.What are you choosing to create right now? Whether you're in lockdown or not, I'd love to hear it!

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