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The Aligned Life

Jenn Stevens | Spiritual Life + Business Coach

Modern Girl Magic Episode 25: Trauma Healing (For Everyone)

by: Jenn

Modern Girl Magic Episode 25: Trauma Healing (For Everyone)

When you hear the world trauma, you probably think of some very dark things. You might not think this word has anything to do with you–but that’s what I’m here to talk about today! We ALL experience trauma and most of us have no idea at all. Today, I’m explaining what Small-T trauma really is and the importance of acknowledging it so you can release it.




Thank you so much for listening! I’d love to hear your comments, questions or episode ideas in the comments below! ????

Subscribe to Modern Girl Magic:


Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Soundcloud | Stitcher | Google Podcasts


Jenn Stevens | The Aligned Life




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Modern Girl Magic Episode 25: Trauma Healing (For Everyone)

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: healing, modern girl magic, trauma, trauma healing

3 Things You Need To Heal To Live Your Best Life!

by: Jenn

3 Things You Need To Heal To Live Your Best Life!

Did you know? You might be walking around going through life right now trying really hard not to let something important in your life fully heal. We all tend to do this by pushing our emotions away and pretending we’re okay. But the fact is, you need time to heal in order to move forward as your best self and live your best life! In today’s video, I’m sharing 3 ways to do exactly that!









Thank you so much for watching!

Jenn Stevens | The Aligned Life




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3 Things You Need To Heal To Live Your Best Life!

Filed Under: Self Work, Video Tagged With: emotions, heal, healing, inner healing

Heal Your Past To Create Your Future

by: Jenn

Heal Your Past To Create Your Future

Are you one of the emotional walking wounded?

In this modern age, we all seem to know a whole lotta stuff. Yet an essential part of your human experience remains something of a mystery. Our emotions are still not something most of us are taught how to deal with.

In fact, those big bad emotions of ours can make people pretty uncomfortable. While negative emotions are a fact of life, the world around us seems to be in a rush for us “get over it”, no matter what has just happened to us.

But your emotions are important!


Every emotion is here for a reason. They’re not right or wrong, no matter what anyone else has to say about it.



While I do teach that we have a lot more control over our emotions than we think, it’s also important to take a moment to honor what we’re feeling–and more importantly to allow ourselves to feel it.

But this is what usually happens instead.

For example, instead, of talking about a relationship and breakup, let’s pretend we’re talking about climbing a tree.

Say you’re climbing the tree but one day you fall off of the branches. You’re suddenly on the ground with a broken arm.

Ouch!

But instead of going to the hospital to get your arm fixed, your friends and family tell you: “Hey it’s not that bad!” “Look at the bright side!” “You’re gonna be fine!”

They urge you to just get up and keep going–so you do! You start climbing the tree again, even though every moment causes you intense pain.

Your arm might even look okay from the outside! Not every broken bone is visible to others. So your friends and family tell you you’re doing great.

But are you really okay?

Is your arm really healed?

Are you climbing the tree as well as you could?

Probably not!

Just like this hypothetical broken bone, so many of us are carrying inner wounds and going through our day pretending “everything is fine”.

And today I just want to show you how utterly insane that is!

So let this be your sign: if you’re carrying on this charade in your own life, then maybe it’s time to stop.

You must heal the wounds of the past before you carry on with the rest of your life!

That doesn’t mean wallowing or hanging out in victim mode forever. But it does mean letting go of judgment and pretending that you are okay. It means validating whatever it is you’re feeling because it’s 100% okay to feel the way you do.

Pretending to be fine never works! The longer you judge your emotions and pretend they’re not there the more difficult it will be to figure out what’s going wrong down the road.

But on the flip side, if you let yourself feel your feelings you’ll also be able to release those feelings and move forward, all the wiser and stronger for whatever it is you’ve experienced.


3 Steps To Heal Your Past (So You Can Create Your Future!)


Heal Your Past Tip #1:

Notice Where The Pain Is


Most of us intrinsically judge both our pain and our healing path. We try to convince ourselves that we left our past long ago but in reality, part of us is still very much grieving that time.

Denial is not the same as healing! I liken this approach to holding a ball under water. You can keep it down as long as you’re paying attention. But what happens if your attention slips? (Or you need your hand to do something else?) That’s right: the ball will pop right back out of the water, sometimes with a surprising amount of force! Holding it down didn’t make it go away. It just hid it from view for a while–which is exactly what denial will make happen to your emotions.

Of course, it can be hard to admit and face up to what’s happening inside of us. But remember that holding yourself back from acknowledging and feeling those feelings requires energy of its own! You’ll eventually exhaust yourself from keeping up the farce of pretending things are okay. Settling into the pain might not sound appealing all that but you must go there in order to release it (and finally move on).

If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll always know where the wounds are hiding. But please don’t judge them or make them wrong or tell yourself they shouldn’t even be there! Awareness is the first key to healing so it a priority to see and acknowledge what’s going on within you.


Heal Your Past Tip #2:

Let It Out


Please know you cannot heal on your own! You need the reflection of someone else to help you move past this. You need someone to listen openly and hold space for you (not rushing to “help” or to “make you feel better”).

You must share your story with someone (that’s how you let the pain out!). You need have your words, point of view and feelings acknowledged and made valid.

Although simply listening might sound straightforward, finding someone to help with this is trickier than it sounds! If there’s no one appropriate in your life to do this for you, then it might be time to call in a therapist or coach.

Again, not many of us have an emotional toolbox for this stuff! So don’t be upset with those around you if they’re not the best listeners. Not many of us are naturally equipped with emotional intelligence for these situations!
Plus “negative” emotions really do make people uncomfortable (partially because we all have mirror neurons which literally mirror the pain we see in other people).

But just because you’re making someone uncomfortable or because not everyone understands how to validate your feelings, that doesn’t make your feelings wrong. If you’re met with unhelpful ears, then it’s simply time to move on and find a better listening partner.


Heal Your Past Tip #3:

Forgive Yourself


Bitterness and resentment are some of the most low-vibe energies we can experience. It’s one thing to admit what’s happened to us or what we’ve done (or not done) but it’s another thing to let go of our self-blame and self-loathing about it.

For example, many people who were victims of abuse as children still hold onto an element of self-blame. As adults, we logically know that children are not to blame in these situations. But our brain has a funny way of reframing things to tell us that we are. (If you listened more, dressed differently, said something differently, etc etc.) It’s all too common for us continue to blame ourselves even though we “should” know better.

It’s that element of self-blame that hurts the most. As long as we continue to judge ourselves and make ourselves wrong, we cannot enter a place of true self-acceptance and love.

Try taking a third-person perspective to the situation. (You can do this through a guided meditation or hypnosis or with some professional help.)

Can you understand that old version of you?
Can you forgive them/yourself?
Can you offer the child/teen/adult version of you some love from your current perspective?

Similarly, it’s difficult to move on and consciously create your dream life if you’re stuck pointing fingers and assigning blame. You cannot be the victim and the hero at the exact same time! If you want to be the hero of your next act, then it’s time to accept your part in how your life so far has played out.

That’s why forgiving others is also a necessary part of the process. We can give ourselves a lot of relief by offering a level of forgiveness to those that wronged us. Please not that forgiveness is not about condoning any actions! But it’s a necessary step to let go of that old heaviness and to break into your next level.

No one is perfect, certainly not us or our parents (or whoever else you meet in the world). We’re all raised in imperfect environments and we’re all doing the best that we can.

If you’re having problems forgiving others, try imagining this other person as a small child themselves. What did they feel as a child? What happened to them over the course of their lifetime? We’re all so much more than the sum of one action or situation. Of course, that doesn’t absolve anyone of personal responsibility. But that tiny shift in perception might just be the boost you need to finally let go while still honoring and loving yourself.




If you need someone to talk to, Better Help offers affordable therapy services online, through messaging, phone or video chat. Get the help you need in the privacy of your own home at an affordable rate! Click here to sign up with a 10% discount.




So which tip are you going to use first? What do you need to release in order to break free and be happy?



We’re all on a journey of self-healing but the more you can shift your perspective, the better chance you’ll have to truly heal.



Jenn Stevens | The Aligned Life




PS Looking for more? You might also want to check out this post about 10 lies you were taught to believe or this one about how to get everything you want in life.




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Heal Your Past To Create Your Future | Manifesting + Mindset Work For Healing
Heal Your Past To Create Your Future
Heal Your Past To Create Your Future

Filed Under: Self Work, Shadow Work Tagged With: forgiveness, heal, heal your past, healing, self talk

DIY EMDR: Home Treatment For Trauma

by: Jenn

woman with eyes closed and text DIY EMDR: Home Treatment For Trauma

Would you like to reprogram your mind…using just your eyes?

That might sound a bit strange at first but one of the most popular therapies in recent years does exactly that thanks to EMDR: eye movement desensitization and reprocessing.

As a coach, I’m intrigued by anything that helps my clients get results. While coaching is future-focused (as opposed to the past-focus of many types of therapy) trauma is still something I must consider when helping my clients move forward. However I’m intrigued by the idea of EMDR–even though they won’t officially allow coaches to use it (yet!).

So while I can’t officially offer EMDR as part of my offerings, I can encourage you to learn about it and explore the practice on your own! And that’s exactly why I’m creating this post today.

After all, if there was a way for you to process and fully release old traumas that didn’t require hours of therapy, wouldn’t you want to give that a try? (Especially if nothing’s worked for you in the past.)

There’s a way to use the life-changing power of EMDR for free in the comfort of your own home.



While I can’t conduct a session for you, I’ve had some interesting results playing with this at home. Why not at least give a try if you’re also intrigued by this powerful tool?

The DIY method I’m teaching today costs nothing except your energy and time. If it can give you a shot at life-changing results, then isn’t that worth a shot at least?

The basic theory is that EMDR works like Rapid Eye Movement during sleep (ie. when we get our most intense dreams). We often process experiences and memories during our sleep and it’s thought that EMDR helps us in the same way.

Basically, trauma needs a way to be released. Most of us have no idea how to do this however! Instead, we learn to fear and avoid our intense emotions. That means running away from them and piling behaviors on top of them in an effort to not feel. Those numbing behaviors can be innocuous but they can also easily turn into addictions. Alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction etc are all really just an external response to trauma (not a moral issue as we’ve been led to believe).

Please note: I am not a licensed therapist! You try this at your own risk. However, if you’re looking for a relatively easy way to deal with your past traumas and cannot afford a therapist at this time, why not at least give it a try? You can’t break yourself (and on a related not, you’re not already broken).

However, I’ve been playing with this and find it fascinating. I’ve also read the accounts of several others online who’ve had great results with the DIY method.

So whether you can’t afford a therapist right now or you’re just committed to diving in and doing the healing work ASAP, then I’ve put together a DIY EMDR process just for you:


DIY EMDR: How To Conduct Your Own Session At Home


DIY EMDR Step #1:

Prepare For Your Session


Find a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed for your DIY session. Choose a comfortable chair and make sure your TV (or phone) is at a comfortable distance and height for your eyes.

Some practitioners recommend that you remove your contact lenses in case the procedure causes dryness. (Eye drops can also help out a lot with that!)


DIY EMDR Step #2:

Dig Into Your Memories


Take a few minutes to tune into your memory or trauma. Let your mind go back to that moment, that age, that word etc. Instead of pushing the uncomfortable feelings away, let them bubble up. Our aim is to work through the emotion so don’t be afraid! Let yourself feel back into the moment.


DIY EMDR Step #3:

Conduct Your Session


Once you’ve summoned the memory, then you can hit play on the EMDR video. Then just let your eyes follow the light back and forth.

I like to set a timer ahead of time for 10 or 15 minutes so I don’t have to keep an eye on the clock through the treatment.

Here’s an example video you can try:


DIY EMDR Step #4:

Rest & Process


Give yourself some time afterwards to chill out and process what’s happened. Sometimes the feelings will be intense but other times not so much. Build a buffer into your schedule anyway to make sure you’re not rushing off to an appointment right after. Napping is a great way to let your brain relax and allow what’s just happened to sink in.


DIY EMDR Step #5:

Repeat



EMDR is not a one-time only affair! Plan on giving yourself 6-8 treatments about the same memory before you feel permanent healing. However, since you’re doing this at home, carving out 15 minutes for yourself once or twice a week shouldn’t be so difficult! Just be sure to keep at it and don’t expect a miracle from just one treatment.




So tell me: what do you think? Have you tried EMDR before? Are you excited to give it a shot in an at-home setting?




I’d love to hear your experiences with this so don’t hesitate to report back and let me know! Wishing you much ???? and healing!



Jenn Stevens The Aligned Life




PS Looking for more? You might also want to check out this post about how to deal with anxiety and depression or this one about how to stop being nice.




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woman with eyes closed and text DIY EMDR: Home Treatment For Trauma

Filed Under: Self Work Tagged With: diy emdr, emdr, healing, healing techniques, memories, mind management, trauma

The Healing Power Of Your Mind

by: Jenn

The Healing Power Of Your Mind

Feeling sick? Want to get better? The FIRST thing you should know about is just how powerful your brain is at healing! In this video, I explain the power of the placebo effect as well as the nocebo effect and challenge you to take the No Sickness Challenge!






Subscribe to my YouTube channel right here! New videos every Tuesday & Friday.




Thank you so much for watching!




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The Healing Power Of Your Mind

Filed Under: Energy, Self Work, Video Tagged With: books, bruce lipton, healing, Healing Power Of Your Mind, law of attraction video, manifest healing, manifesting video

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Hey there Goalgetter! I’m Jenn – Bestselling Author | Spiritual Life & Business Coach | Creator of The Aligned Life and I teach you how to mind hack your way to your manifestation dreams!

 

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Reminder: THIS ISN'T YOUR FOREVER PLACEMeaning: Reminder: THIS ISN'T YOUR FOREVER PLACEMeaning: whether good OR bad, this moment is only temporary.And even when the sh*t is hitting the fan, there's so MORE to your story than what's on the surface.Let me get personal for a moment.I've been pretty open here about my dark night of the soul story.(Basically, going from being married, living in a beautiful loft apartment, having a successful business with my partner to getting dumped, business dissolving & living in my parents basement. Overnight!)Way back then I was FIRMLY stuck on what was happening to me.The worst part was really the fact that I was telling myself I would never be happy again. I lost & game over.Looking back now, I can see how it was THAT particular story of mine that was the most painful and damaging.Feeling hopeless fed my depression and really made me feel like there wouldn't even be a point in TRYING to do anything great ever again.But I'm happy to say I was SO wrong about that!Back then I firmly FELT like I was in my forever place--even though it WASN'T.Bit by bit, I healed myself. I got stronger. I started listening to my soul desires and got busy with manifesting them all into reality.NOW I know that the lessons I learned back then have been my most valuable.They led me to TRUST myself and in the journey, even through fear, self-doubt and not always knowing WHERE I was going next.Without that moment, I'm sure I would NOT be here: with a book and business I'm so proud of, living out my dreams in Europe.So today I just want to REMIND you: there's more to your story only always.I know 2020 was tough for so many of us (Corona, BLM & more)And maybe you needed to read this today.So please know: you might not be able to see how it's all coming together right now.But trust that one day down the road, you'll look back and see:That THIS exact, with all the suffering and hardship WASN'T all in vain.It actually all came together to make me who I was ALWAYS meant to be.
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with love + miracles ✨
~ Jenn
Oh hey there friend! 💗There are lots of new f Oh hey there friend! 💗There are lots of new faces here & it's been a little while since I last introduced myself.So hello! My name is Jenn & I'm on a mission to connect you to your MAGIC.I teach you how to create the life you want by using your MIND.You might have heard that you can use the Law of Attraction to attract what you want through your emotional states.Which IS true.But most of us don't realize that our THOUGHTS create our emotional state.Repeated thoughts become beliefs.And those beliefs create our MINDSET.So when you have a low sense worthiness around ANYTHING you happen to want to manifest, you WILL see only lack and limitation.You WILL buy into the old programming that tells you you could never do/be/have that.You WILL secretly self-sabotage and get in the way of the very things you want so much.I used to feel lost and down on myself. And I used to HATE what my life was like.But something inside of me was pointing me in the direction of learning more about spirituality and personal development.The more I learned about manifestation + the brain, the moer the pieces began to click together.And the faster my life began to RAPIDLY change!(Check out my story on how I manifested my book deal for example.)I'm telling you this because I KNOW you can create so many of those dreams of yours, if you JUST learn how to get out of your own way.And that's what I'm on a mission to do, every single day.Want to work with me? You can get started with manifestation with my Manifestation Journaling Workshop.Or if you're ready to go deeper in a private setting, drop me a DM to learn more about my hypno-coaching program!AND PS - I'm also about to launch my Recode membership site (which I'm SOOO excited about). So stay tuned for that!But I'm SO DAMN EXCITED to have you here for this journey! And I thank you so much for being part of my little manifestation community. Now--let's TRANSFORM!
Getting on the manifestation train, who's coming? Getting on the manifestation train, who's coming?Emoji me below if you're part of Team Manifestation! 👇👇
What do YOU need to believe to create your next le What do YOU need to believe to create your next level-reality?Remember: your old beliefs created the life you're living now.But instead of getting upset about that, it's SO much more useful to think on where we want to go next.So what do YOU want to create?And what do YOU need to believe in order to get there?This is the CREATION part of being a Conscious Creator: meaning that YOU get to decide on what your life looks like. But you also have to do the work to CREATE it, starting from the inside out.So get excited about what YOU are going to start believing in next! &  happy weekend to you #teammanifestation !
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with love + miracles ✨
~ Jenn
You're never lost, my darling!And things have ne You're never lost, my darling!And things have never gone wrong.Even when things don't LOOK the way you want them to, always remember:There is magic in this moment--and EVERY moment.So lock it in & double tap to AFFIRM it:I trust that I am right where I am mean to be! ✨✨

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