Jenn Stevens | Spiritual Life + Business Coach
Of course, it’s cool to look ahead and plan what’s to come! But if you do that without looking at where you’ve just come from, you might be missing some pieces of the puzzle. In this video, I’m sharing why evaluating your past year is important plus my FOUR questions to help you look back (in order to move into 2020 with CONFIDENCE!
Thank you so much for watching!
Think you can’t get everything you want in life?
Think again! Simply believing that you can’t is in fact your biggest barrier to actually having it. But this isn’t your fault! Our parents, teachers, the media etc. does a really good job in this way: reigning in our desires and dreams and telling us to play a little smaller.
None of that was done to purposefully harm us of course! But there’s no denying that it’s a huge problem. That’s why I consider a big part of my job as coach and teacher to simply be about helping people unlearn all the negative programming they’ve picked up over the years.
Similarly, the things that we want are never as far away as we imagine them to be. Creating the life of your dreams is really just a matter of realizing that it’s possible. Once you open the doors to the magic, life has a funny way of flowing its way straight to you.
If you’re truly ready to level up and get everything you want in life, these 8 tips will get you started:
As a reformed non-goal maker, I’ve got to stress the importance of this one! Being intentional and really deciding on what you want is so important to being a Conscious Creator! The world is full of noise; so much so that it’s sometimes hard to stay focused on our own desires. Becoming conscious isn’t a one time thing! It’s about creating the habit of being intentional, each and every day.
So let’s get in the habit! You can set tiny intentions all day long: for how you want your commute, workout or meeting to go. It’s one tiny action that has truly major effects!
In a culture that literally profits from our low levels of self-worth, loving on yourself is a truly radical act. But it’s true: every time you turn on the TV you are bombarded by psychological warfare, telling you that you’re not enough the way you are. It takes some conscious and consistent effort to undo all that damage! I could write a whole post about how to increase your worthiness (and I probably will) but for now please just know that you were born inherently worthy! It’s time to dig into your thoughts and beliefs that say otherwise to begin the healing process.
Learning to love yourself also means learning to love your imperfect past and present. We’ve all made mistakes but the most important thing to know is that those mistakes have turned you into the beautiful person you are today! Too many of us are wandering around carrying the burdens of our past. But perfection doesn’t exist and no one gets through life without a few disappointments. Instead of berating yourself, learn to accept yourself just as you are, bruises and all. The guilt and shame just weigh you down and there’s really no reason to take all that negativity to where you want to go.
It’s a fact: we live in a culture of outrage. Calling people out and being low-key angry is far too socially acceptable! But please don’t ever forget that your thoughts and words truly count. What you focus on will always expand. After all, that’s where you’re choosing to send your energy. So do you really want to moan and groan about the little things in life?
Sure, we don’t live in a perfect world. You’re going to come up against bumps in the road from time to time. But you also don’t have to rage against them! Accepting things as they are and moving on is ultimately the best choice for your precious energy.
Action is an integral piece of the Law of Attraction! But this isn’t about scrambling around and acting out of desperation. It’s about moving forward with total faith, but also doing everything you can in the earthly realm. Taking action is just a strong indication of your determination and sincerity about your goals.
Just don’t let the action freak you out! When it comes to big goals, we often underestimate the power of small steps. But even tiny bits of progress can really add up over time! Just make sure that you’re truly working towards whatever it is that you want for yourself, each and every day.
No matter how much money, adulation, fame etc. that you call into your life, it will all be for nothing if you don’t appreciate what you already have! Culturally, we’re all far too future-focused. While it’s important to be intentional and have goals, it’s also crucial that you stop to appreciate what you’ve already got and how far you’ve come.
So if you haven’t already, it’s time to make gratitude a daily habit. Spend some time each and every day thinking of something in your life and truly feeling gratitude for it. (I like to set an alarm on my phone to remind me of this!) Just start to embrace gratitude as part of your regular routine.
We used to think that once a human grew up that was it; their capacity for growth was already fulfilled. Fortunately, these days we know better! We all have the power to learn new things all the time. But have you embraced the growth? The more curious you can be about yourself, the more you’ll be able to unleash your powerful authenticity! Never let not knowing how to do something stop you. We have unlimited learning resources these days and you really can consciously change anything you decide to! Embracing the learning process will help uplevel your life at lightning speed!
Over time, most of us get caught up in pretty rigid ideas of who we are and what we can do. But those ideas become a small little box that ultimately undermines us. You need to stop judging your future potential based on your past! Most of us tend to think we can only accomplish so much instead of pushing ourselves to the next level. While trying something new or putting in some extra effort can be scary, don’t you also want to find out just how much you’re capable of? Stop telling yourself that you’re “bad with money”, “not good on camera” etc. and start pushing yourself to get a little uncomfortable. See if you can rewrite your own story. After all, you’ll only be able to fly if you can first jump out of the nest!
So tell me: what tip made the biggest difference for you? How are you going to incorporate these techniques into your life? (Like starting today!)
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences with this! Drop a comment below or send me a message. And, as always, thank you so much for being here Starshine! Now go out there and start wowing yourself.
PS Looking for more? You might also want to check out this post about create your best life or this one about become the person you really want to be.
Want to achieve more by doing less? It’s possible! Most of us actually have an attachment to stories and beliefs that make achieving the things we want more difficult than they need to be! In this video, I share three mindset hacks that can truly help you get out of your own way and start achieving what you want NOW!
Subscribe to my YouTube channel right here! New videos every Tuesday & Friday.
Thank you so much for watching!
Setting goals CAN be utterly terrifying! But it’s so important to keep setting them, even when it scares you. In this episode we talk about how to bring some ease and flow to your goal-getting.
Thank you so much for listening!
You can subscribe to Unf*ckwithable You over on Soundcloud, iTunes or Stitcher.
When you first discover the Law of Attraction, it’s just all so EXCITING!
But I’m the first to admit there’s also a dark side to this kind of power.
Sometimes we think we don’t know what we want to manifest.
It all seems so overwhelming and scary!
What if I don’t like what I manifest?
What if there are just so many things I’m interested in that just I don’t know what to choose?
So please don’t feel like a giant weirdo if the LoA has got you freaking out just a bit!
While it might seem like everyone else in the world knows EXACTLY what they want to create, that’s not the reality.
Despite the glossy and Instagram-perfect appearances, no one has it all figured out!
Everyone’s just doing the best they can with the information they have.
Creating your dream life is a lengthy process and (not usually!) a magical overnight experience.
So with that in mind, here’s a guide to help you figure out what’s truly bothering you so you can face your fears head on and start making progress again:
Back when I was picking my major in college, I was all kinds of freaked out by what I should pick. Which of course is perfectly understandable! It’s a big decision; you will have your degree forever so the pressure is on to make sure it’s the RIGHT one.
I wish someone back then had told me that there’s no such thing as the perfect decision!
We largely go into panic mode because we don’t want to make a mistake.
We get so freaked about by being “wrong” that we just don’t do anything. It’s important to realize that taking any action is better than choosing nothing.
We’re all just making the best decisions that we can at the time. And we certainly don’t learn by thinking or researching or panicking while laying on our bed in the middle of the night.
We only learn by doing. Now that we know there aren’t any “right” and “wrong” choices, we can start moving forward and taking action.
Think of this as pure data collection: every choice you make simply gives you more data about what to do next.
Another common block when it comes to manifesting is thinking that you’ll have to hold onto your manifestation wish forever.
But that’s totally untrue!
Gifts tend to be highly associated with a lot of Puritanical judgment. But you can opt out of all that icky-feeling judgment! There aren’t any old-fashioned gift-keeping rules when it applies to your own life!
It’s common to harbour a lot of guilt around gifts and some of us (myself included!) tend to attach all that stuff to our metaphysical gifts too.
But all that guilt and drama is ENTIRELY our own invention. Which means you can also choose to opt out of it!
In other words, it’s definitely okay to manifest something in, play with it and move onto the next thing. You don’t have to keep a gift sitting around on a shelf just in case your great-aunt surprises you with a visit!
There won’t be any hard feelings from the Universe! The whole idea here is to pursue feeling good! So don’t be afraid to honour that. You certainly won’t be punished for continually upgrading your life.
Nobody is meant to stay the same forever! We’re constantly expanding, just like the Universe itself. It’s actually unnatural for us to get in a rut! Stagnation goes against our very way of being; that’s why it feels so weird and icky.
As this ever-evolving being that you are, you’re constantly learning new things about life. And that means your desires will be growing and changing too. Which also means that you get to ask for new (bigger! better!) things.
Bigger and better things are in fact the whole point! So don’t worry about being greedy and asking for “too much”. Again, all that weird judgment comes purely from our own blocks and limiting beliefs.
If you manifested the six-figure job with the corner office but suddenly feel like it’s stifling you, it’s totally OK. You get to change your mind. You get to sell all your stuff and move to Costa Rica if you want to! You get to enrol in design school or yoga teaching training or open a dog rescue.
Your life is entirely up to you! Don’t force yourself to keep living out your old desires if they’re not longer lifting you up or they weren’t what you imagined them to be. We’re meant to be happy! So keep focusing on finding that happiness.
Another common side-effect of manifesting (which I talked about here) is that sometimes the thing we want doesn’t feel as good as we thought it would! Those expectation hangovers just give us some more valuable insight about what we really want.
So if something truly doesn’t light you up, then now you know what doesn’t work–and you can go off in search of what will.
You’re not psychic! Any new experience that you try to draw in will always have an element of the unknown! And even the things that we truly want often come with a new set of problems.
So if you don’t feel exactly as thrilled as you thought you would, it’s okay! There’s no real way of knowing how you’re going to feel until you actually get there. It’s all just a big learning experience in the end, so take it in and move on to your next target!
No matter what’s going on for you, it’s important to remember that not knowing exactly what you want is NOT the end of the world! Give yourself the grace of some time to figure it out.
Look at it this way: if you’d never dated anyone, it would be kind of difficult to choose the kind of person you’d want to be with forever! (Yes, some people manage to do this but most of us do NOT!) Manifesting can be like casual dating: testing out the many MANY options available to you until you figure out what clicks.
The best advice is to stop panicking about the big picture and just give yourself the space to explore what’s coming up for you! Follow your curiosities. Notice what you’re attracted to and what you’re not that into anymore. Concentrate on manifesting what’s currently catching your fancy. Then see how that works out for you, make any necessary adjustments and keep moving. It may not sound as glamorous as attracting miracles overnight but a slow approach is much more manageable for most people.
Manifesting doesn’t always have to be about attracting crazy big new things into our life! Sometimes the idea of making big leaps is just downright exhausting. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t push yourself! Take it slowly for the time being. And don’t worry because sooner or later, you will be inspired to go for the BIG things gain.
I hope this helps you improve your manifesting practice! Let me know how it works out for you. Much ????
PS Looking for more? You might also want to check out this post about how to experience a quantum leap or this one about choose your words to change your life.
Isn’t it funny where you get your inspiration from? This week mine came from a Twitter meme:
when u know the solutions to all ur problems but u just don't wanna do em pic.twitter.com/hUTzw5d7tN
— beth mccoll (@imteddybless) February 19, 2016
Obviously, this post went viral because it’s funny and cute.
But it’s also very true.
I know right? Ugh.
Think about it: when it comes down to it, we all know somewhere deep inside exactly what it is we’re supposed to be doing to make ourselves truly happy.
But instead we’re our own worst enemy.
Most of the time we’d rather not take any real action in life, especially anything to do with (*gasp!*) Growth or it’s good friend Change.
We’re actually a lot more comfortable sitting around complaining rather than doing. Getting in this lacklustre mindset requires zero effort and keeps us trapped in that never-ending state of meh. But staying there means we don’t really need to be accountable for ourselves (because we keep saying we want to change!) and we retain full license to just keep talking about all the stuff we want to do (while never actually doing it).
It’s just too easy to stay in The Moping Zone.
But, back in reality, every single one of our issues can be dealt with.
We all know how to solve our own problems (or at least where to begin).
In one way or another, it comes down to the fact that we have each chosen our current version of life – as joyful or problematic as that may be.
And yeah, maybe you’re really not ready to move out of your comfy meh zone. That’s cool! Come back and read the rest of this article when you’re up to the task!
But what if you are ready for change?
I know I’m tired of falling into the moping trap. And maybe you are too.
Coincidentally, after I found the above tweet, I also came across this behavior model for effecting life change.
(Oh right. The universe is always listening.)
I wish I could take credit for this method but it’s actually based on Brooke Castillo’s life coaching methods (Find her on iTunes right over here!).
For the record, she’s not “Woo Woo” in the slightest and all of her stuff is incredibly useful so she’s well-worth checking out.
The idea here is to stop sitting around and waiting for certain things to appear for you. Instead, it’s about looking at how we can regain control and create those things ourselves.
So if you’re looking to take inspired action in your life, keep on reading.
When you set out on a journey, you always have a final destination in mind. (Otherwise, how do you know you’ve arrived?)
That’s why goal-setting is so important in every aspect of life!
Let me just say, I feel this is where most of us fall short. We all kinda know what we want from life but without getting specific it’s pretty difficult to get there! So whether you’re spell-casting, manifesting or just straight up working on your shit, it’s important to get clarity about your end goal first.
So what is it that you want from life right now? Where do you want to be in three months time? Where do you want to go next? Your goals can be personal, professional, or any and all of the above. The important thing is to have one.
Every goal will require some sort of action on your part! Maybe if you’re looking for a relationship you need to start dating more frequently. Maybe you’re looking to lose weight and you know you need to set up a regular exercise routine. Again, you probably know exactly what’s required already!
For now, it’s time to focus in on what you need to do to take you to your goal – no more and no less. If you’re like me we all try to jam too much onto our plates (oooh shiny!) instead of focusing in on that one important thing. So maybe trying to exercise more and change your diet drastically is too much all at once. Choose your main battle.
Now imagine that you’re in the process of taking action to make your dream come true. What does that feel like for you? Empowered? Energized? Healthy?
There’s always a feeling that will align with your action – possibly even more than one! Once you’ve defined what those feelings are, think about them more carefully. Try to notice them in your life. Ask yourself how often do you feel that way now? And what could you do to feel that way more often?
External events mean nothing until we assign meaning to them! And we’ve learned how to assign meaning over our entire life. We learn to feel rejected after a break up or after we get let go from our job. We learn to feel slighted if someone doesn’t call or if someone doesn’t match up to our expectations in one way or another. But all of that is open for interpretation. Every event can be spun positively or negatively. If we can choose to let information harm us, we can just as easily chose not to.
So which way are you going?
Take another look at your desired feeling and ask yourself what would you have to think in order to create that feeling. How would you have to think about yourself or about your current situation? What needs to change? How can you change your thinking right now so that it aligns with your overall goal?
The power to change begins in our own mind.
Thoughts become reality. And changing our thoughts is one way of making huge and profound shifts in our lives.
Good luck with your goal-setting! Please remember to share if you found this post useful. See you next week!
