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The Aligned Life

Jenn Stevens | Spiritual Life + Business Coach

How To Decide: 4 Ways To Improve Your Decision-Making Process

by: Jenn

How To Decide: 4 Ways To Improve Your Decision-Making Process

Whether you know it or not, your ability to make decisions is one of the most life-altering skills in your possession!

We all have to make decisions in our life, whether big or small. But the way you think about those decisions has a very big impact on your life!

So let me ask you this: were you ever taught how to make decisions? Probably not–or at least very minimally.

Instead, we’re taught some pretty crazy things about deciding.

Maybe if you’re a people-pleaser you were taught that having an opinion was a nuisance. Just be agreeable instead! And just do what everyone else wants to do.

Or perhaps you were taught that you could figure out the right answer–if only you thought long and hard enough.

Perhaps not making decisions (or not making them fast enough!) is what’s really tripping you up in life.

Decision making is something of a super-power. Yet few people place importance on this skill!

We’re just expected to make a decision and magically get it right–an approach that lets us fall into some common mind-traps and fears.

If you’ve ever struggled with making a decision (and haven’t we all?), then this post’s for you! Stop worrying about the “right” answer and dive in here:


How To Decide: 4 Ways To Improve Your Decision-Making Process


How To Decide Tip #1:

Claiming What You Really Want


Too many of us haven’t gotten what we want because we just haven’t claimed it. We didn’t bother to get specific with the numbers or actions. And without knowing the goal, it’s impossible to ask!

But truthfully, deep down we really didn’t want to –gasp!–put ourselves out there like that–because that would also invite the dreaded possibility of failure.

But how much fun is not trying at all? How much fun is it to tiptoe around the pool, looking at how cool and inviting it is and never once jumping in?

You cannot get what you want in life if you can’t even admit to yourself what that is! We only know we’ve hit our goals when we’ve bothered to set them. That goes for manifesting as well: how can the Universe give you what you want if you haven’t even asked?

But I also get it if this makes you uncomfortable. People-pleasing can make you put everyone else’s opinions so much higher than your own that you forget you even have any. Also being a someone you may have been taught to put everyone else’s needs first. Those things might not seem to have any bearing over anything else in your life but the ramifications are actually huge. Because if there isn’t any point in voicing your opinions out loud, you might stop admitting them to even yourself.

Not asking for things can also be interpreted as a non-zest for life. You’re definitely not living life in a conscious way! (And my real aim is to make every single one of you a Conscious Creator.) So it’s time to turn all of that around and actually acknowledge (and ask for!) what you really want.


How To Decide Tip #2:

Worrying About The “Right” or “Wrong” Answer


Of course decision-making becomes difficult (or impossible!) if you believe there’s only one right answer (and that if you don’t figure it out you’ll f*ck your life up permanently). Who can handle the pressure?

The real problem here though is the simple belief in both “right” and “wrong” answers. For example, this could be the fear of picking the wrong school, guy or job. When you believe there’s a wrong answer, then you’ll be afraid of the consequences. Instead of life becoming a large learning experiment, you’ll be afraid of living with the ramifications of your decision for the Rest. Of. Your. Life!

(Eeeep! How debilitating! Who wants to accidentally damn themselves to a life that’s less than they want and deserve?)

However, it’s also not at all possible! Not even remotely. Again, there are very few decisions in this life that you can’t recover from. Sure, maybe you picked a school that’s not a 100% fit–but the truth is, no school would be! You might get occasionally caught up in a fantasy that if you’d gone to your other choice your grades would be better, your friends would be cooler and your job prospects would be more awesome–but that’s just your brain playing tricks on you! There’s really no proof of any of that stuff.

In reality, where you are now is just as good as what your other choice would have been. Plus if there’s anything that’s really missing, there’s always a way to still go out there and achieve it. Nothing is forever!

We’re forever compromising ourselves in one way or another! So don’t start believing that if you’d compromised in a different way things would be better. They’d just be different–and once you understand this, you’ll remove any lingering fears and doubts and enable yourself to calmly choose.


How To Decide Tip #3:

Worrying For Too Long


As kids, we were taught to be thoughtful with our decisions–but that caution can easily become a problem in itself! Again, this comes back to societal programming. We’ve been taught to believe there’s one right answer, above all else, and that if we just think about things for long enough we should be able to figure out what that is.

But what if that’s totally wrong?

I believe this is a natural hold over from our school days and searching for the right answer on a test. But the real world doesn’t work the same way! There’s rarely one answer that hits all the right notes; instead, we usually get to pick from a bunch of answers that each have their own pro’s and con’s (making none “better” than the rest).

The only thing that you can guarantee will happen when you ponder for too long is losing more of your precious time. After a certain point, a non-decision becomes the decision. If you don’t take matters into your own hands, the world will eventually decide for you.

But on the other hand, swift action is usually rewarded! The Universe loves action. So when you decide and commit on something fast, you’re typically rewarded very well for doing so.


How To Decide Tip #4:

Researching Too Much


Similar to taking too much time to make a decision, is the need to do a lot of research. On the surface this seems to make sense: if I find the right information then surely I’ll know what the “right” answer is! However, this tactic rarely works the way we want it too. Instead of more information making our choice easier, we just tend to get more bogged down and confused by all those extra factors.

Of course, doing some research might come in handy for certain decisions! But don’t fool yourself into staying research mode for too long. Again, this can be just another way to delay (and ultimately waste your own time). In most cases, the information you really need has already presented itself! So don’t look for more information. Concentrate on making the best decision you can with what you already have.




So tell me: how do you find decision-making hard? What steps are you going to take to improve your process?




I sincerely hope this post has taken some of the unnecessary stress out of the decision-making process! You really don’t have to stress yourself out about any one thing so much–even though your brain very much believes otherwise. It’s all just part of the process and when you embrace that concept (instead of striving to be “right”) then you’ll find so much more ease at every step of the journey!



Jenn Stevens | The Aligned Life




PS Looking for more? You might also want to check out this post about how to release fear, shame and guilt or this one about 7 signs that love is on its way.




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How To Decide: 4 Ways To Improve Your Decision-Making Process

How To Decide: 4 Ways To Improve Your Decision-Making Process
How To Decide: 4 Ways To Improve Your Decision-Making Process

Filed Under: Self Work Tagged With: decision, decision making, how to decide

Unf*ckwithable You Episode 35: Cut The Confusion Crap

by: Jenn

Unf*ckwithable You Episode 35: Cut The Confusion Crap

Have you ever been stuck trying to make an important decision? Here’s why the answer “I don’t know” is not good enough! We explore this form of procrastination and find out why taking any action is preferable to taking none.




Thank you so much for listening!

You can subscribe to Unf*ckwithable You over on Soundcloud, iTunes or Stitcher.

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: confusion, decision making, unf*ckwithable podcast, unf*ckwithable you, unfuckwithable, unfuckwithable podcast, unfuckwithable you

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Hey there Goalgetter! I’m Jenn – Bestselling Author | Spiritual Life & Business Coach | Creator of The Aligned Life and I teach you how to mind hack your way to your manifestation dreams!

 

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And now for a quick message from your Higher Self: And now for a quick message from your Higher Self:Love yourself enough to LET IT GOBreathe deep & have a happy Sunday my beautiful babes!
You are magic itself.And your desires have meani You are magic itself.And your desires have meaning for the WORLD.So if you really KNEW that you were here to feel happy and do the things that bring you joy, what would you be doing differently?If you’re like me, it’s too easy to forget our true divine nature.It’s too easy to believe our worries and limitations more than we trust ourselves and this beautiful journey.But if you could trust your magic for just a moment, what would change?If you knew your dreams where a matter of WHEN not if, how would this moment be different?All the magic you ever needed is IN you already. All you need to do right now is TUNE into it!
————————————————————————
with love + miracles ✨
~ Jenn
Identity shifting is KEY to manifesting.Because Identity shifting is KEY to manifesting.Because you ALWAYS manifest from your subconscious mind.Meaning you WILL play out old programs and ideas over and over again.Until YOU decide enough's enough! And do the work to REPROGRAM your mind to reflect what it you want and who you need to be.But sometimes, this work doesn't FEEL like it's doing anything.Those little tiny shifts on the inside are close to invisible--which might even make you doubt that it's happening at all.But trust me gorgeous, it IS.Keep taking tiny steps forward.Keep doubling down on who you WANT to be.TRUST the process and understandThat little by little, bit by bitIt all adds upUntil one day you look around and realize: I'm already there.
————————————————————————
with love + miracles ✨
~ Jenn
What would it be like to TRULY be enough for yours What would it be like to TRULY be enough for yourself?💜To not CRAVE that outside approval or validation?To forget about other people's opinions or what they say behind your back?To not motivate yourself to move TOWARDS something only because you cannot stand where you are?This just goes to show that as much as we all LOATHE to admit it, so much of what we do is based off of artificially leveraging ourselves UP.If so-and-so would only say "good job"If that person would LOVE meIf I finally did [ insert arbitrary goal here ]THEN I could finally feel good and actually TRULY love myself.Sometimes we all get our wires crossed on this at times. (Myself included!)We focus on the future fantasy that our issues will MAGICALLY disappear once X/Y/Z happens.And we chase the things outside of us, forgetting that the ONLY place our true happiness lies is within ourselves.I'm here to warn you:You could run the whole race of life and NOT get what you think you need from other people.You could meet milestone after milestone and still NEVER feel like you measure up. 😩ORYou could start being enough, right here, right now.Enough = you as you are, flaws, mistakes and all.Enough = you without anyone else.Enough = you.💗Happy Thursday Conscious Creator friends!
————————————————————————
with love + miracles ✨
~ Jenn
It's a FACT of life: you're simply NOT going to fe It's a FACT of life: you're simply NOT going to feel good all the time.And that's okay!Not gonna lie: the last month or so has been rough for me.The darkness of winter + strict lockdowns/limited holiday celebrations were TOUGH.I've definitely had my moments of letting it all get to me.But that doesn't mean anything has gone wrong.It doesn't mean that I'm somehow failing.And it definitely does NOT mean I'm putting more space between me and my manifestation goals.Even with the BEST of intentions, life is 50/50. Expecting perfection at any time will ONLY set you up for disappointment.Feeling frustrated, down, exhausted: those are all normal feelings for anyone experiencing a pandemic (plus general winter blues/ political chaos etc.)So while I don't want to create MORE of those feelings, I'm also not going to judge myself for having them.Making your feelings WRONG does not speed you up back into feeling better. It only creates self-loathing and resistance.Are you feeling the same? Here are a few things that are helping me right now:- Just letting myself cry if I feel like it (Sometimes 10 minutes of a good cry is a sufficient release!)
- Concentrating on pandemic-lockdown friendly goals that I CAN achieve (Doing pilates every day, meditation + Manifestation Journaling)
- Taking a break from drinking (I only drank about once a week anyway! But why not try going without it for a month?)
- Doing more behind-the-scenes entrepreneur stuff (The kinds of things that are so easy to put off for "someday")
- Using my SAD lamp every morning! (I only just got it but I swear it's helping)
- NOT judging myself too harshly if I suddenly don't feel up to doing the work I had planned or posting as much I "should" (Being an entrepreneur brings an EXTRA level of potential self-judgment that's hard to get out of at times.)This is all just a great example of one of the most important lessons of LIFE.You don't get to choose all your circumstances. But you DO get to choose what you do WITH them.What are you choosing to create right now? Whether you're in lockdown or not, I'd love to hear it!

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