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The Aligned Life

Jenn Stevens | Spiritual Life + Business Coach

Fear, Shame And Guilt: 3 Emotions To Release To Create Freedom

by: Jenn

Fear, Shame And Guilt: 3 Emotions To Release To Create Freedom

Learning how to manage your mind and emotions is a superpower! Of course, we all want to do this to create more happiness and success in our lives.

For most of us, emotional intelligence doesn’t come so easily. Many of us still feel controlled by our emotions rather than understanding that our emotions come from us.

Make no mistake: we’re ruled by our emotions. Even when we use our logical brain to decide on what to buy or where to eat etc. we’re usually just justifying a choice that our feelings already made! We’re ruled much more by our emotions than we’d like to believe.

That can be particularly troubling when you learn that emotions can be used against us. They’re actually a common way for people outside of us to control our opinions and actions.

The truth is that the outer world (your family, friends and the media) use emotions as weapons all the time. But if you’re not aware of how this works, you’re doomed to be controlled by it.

For example, this is the very foundation of modern advertising itself. Did you know that Sigmund Freud’s nephew Edward Bernays basically invented advertising as we know it today? He took principles from propaganda and figured out how to use them for large corporations. We still feel the effects of this rebranding today! Our emotions are being manipulated all the time; unless you develop emotional intelligence of your own, you run the risk of being controlled by them.

Creating a life of true freedom means becoming vigilant about this type of emotional control.

You’re here to live your best life–not to become a happy Kmart shopper who’s blind to how much their outside world controls their feelings and actions.

Ultimately, our emotions are always in our own control! You don’t have to to take the emotional bait from anyone. You’re actually giving permission to all those things you feel–which means you can also stop giving that power away!

It’s only once you see how common emotional manipulation really is that you’ll understand how susceptible we all are to it. Understanding how your brain works really will give you your power back and make you less likely to feel out-of-control in this chaotic world.

While emotional manipulation is actually a huge topic, today I wanted to touch on the three most common emotions that are used to control us: fear, shame and guilt.


Fear, Shame And Guilt: 3 Emotions You Need To Release To Create Total Freedom


Negative Emotion To Release #1:

Fear



Fear is one of the best tools of mind control there is! When we’re afraid, we’ll do almost anything to convince ourselves we’re safe again. But most of the time, fear is just an illusion! Our brain excels at making mountains out of mole hills which means our fear is often wildly out of proportion to reality.

Fear literally locks your brain up and puts you in fight-or-flight mode. In that state, your vision gets super-focused: you’re trying to solve just one problem to put yourself at ease. However that tunnel vision doesn’t do you any favors. When you’re narrowly focused on one problem or issue, you lose perspective and also the ability to see some very obvious solutions.

Be very wary when someone is asking you to be afraid of something. Once you notice this tool, you’ll see it being used almost everywhere: on the news, by politicians, in regular advertising. But of course the TV show wants you to keep watching, the politicians want you to vote for them and the advertising people want you to buy something! Developing awareness of this mechanism will help you to build immunity to it.


Negative Emotion To Release #2:

Shame


Shame is another potent tool of control. We’re pack animals at heart; we want nothing more than to fit in and be accepted by those around us. At one point in time, being rejected by our peers really was a matter of life-or-death. We had a much better survival rate in a group. Going it alone was highly dangerous.

Times might have changed but our brain remembers that danger from our collective past. That’s why shame is one of the most painful emotions we have. Think about your most shameful memories! Even though they may have happened long ago, bringing yourself back there can still sting terribly. We know what shame feels like so acutely we’ll do almost anything to avoid feeling that way again.

The funny thing about shame (like all emotions) is that shame requires our participation. Someone can’t shame you unless on some level you agree with them. Our natural instinct is to run from shame but we actually have much more power over it than we think! Developing a sense of shamelessness is really just an act of self-love and preservation. The more you can shrug off your shameful feelings with a “so what?” the less likely you’ll be to be influenced by them.


Negative Emotion To Release #3:

Guilt



Guilt is another dark emotion that causes us much discomfort. It’s actually built right into many major religions. If (like me) you were raised in a Catholic household, you’re probably all too aware of the power of guilt!

Guilt lies very closely to shame. Unlike shame, we experience guilt mostly as a projection. Other people tell us what we need to feel guilty about. But, once more, we have to agree to that projection in order for it to have an effect on us.

There are multiple ways we can feel guilt. We can feel guilt around things we actually did or around things we’re just thinking about doing. We can also feel societal guilt (like for eating meat) or for guilt about other people (for having more or not doing enough).

A normal amount of guilt is healthy; it helps us have empathy and relate better to others. But excessive guilt can be toxic. Again, it’s you that’s that’s really holding all the cards! What happens when you drop the “should’s”? Where does your heart tell you is truly right? When you stop worrying so much about what other people think, it leaves you the space to step powerfully into your own authenticity.




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So tell me: which emotions do you notice the most in yourself & what were the triggers? How can you zoom out to see the full picture instead of letting your emotions rule over you?




No matter how intense or fast emotions are, there’s always something you can do to help shift them. Remember that you’re in charge of your own thoughts which then dictate your feelings! The more you practice diving in to see where things are really coming from, the easier it will be to manage these tricky low-vibe feelings.



Jenn Stevens The Aligned Life




PS Looking for more? You might also want to check out this post about how you’re self-sabotaging or this one about the truth about your upper limit problem.




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Fear, Shame And Guilt: 3 Emotions To Release To Create Freedom

Filed Under: Self Work Tagged With: advertising, emotional control, emotional management, fear, guilt, programming, psychology, shame

How Visual Clutter Can Harm You

by: Jenn

The Importance Of Eliminating Visual Clutter

Relax! The clutter I’m talking about here today is not your garden-variety clutter.

Visual clutter is literally attached to our stuff. And we usually don’t even give it a second thought.

What I mean by visual clutter today is specifically marketing and advertising materials. Logos. Slogans. That glaring bright corporate messaging is always around us–but it doesn’t need to be.

So take a moment and do a quick check: quickly look around your space and see what kinds of visual clutter you can find.

What kinds of logos and labels have you allowed into your space? And what kinds of messages are living in those logos?

Once you open your eyes to them, it can be quite surprising to see just how many there are.

I’m not talking about conspiracy theory-level stuff here. But logos and slogans are designed to lodge themselves into your head. They are ultimately designed to make you buy things. Anyway you slice it, they are targeted corporate messages as well as unnecessary visual clutter.

And why let those corporations have a piece of your tranquil space?

Your home will be a trillion times better without them.

It all goes back to one of my core messages: be vigilant about what you allow to be around you.

Fortunately, fighting the visual clutter is really easy. I’m an especially big believer in decanting our most often used products like hand soap or dishsoap into clean label-less containers. The stuff in your cupboards and shelves (and even fridge) is less problematic since you don’t see it quite so often but you can take this exercise as far as you want. Try decanting and repackaging the things in your kitchen and bathroom and see what a difference it makes.

You don’t need to get rid of absolutely everything with a logo. Sometimes those logos make us feel really good! And that’s cool. What I am asking is that you simply take the time for some awareness and then make a conscious choice. So if you choose to keep any around, make sure you are truly aligned with them–and their meanings.




I hope this post gave you some food for thought today. Let me know how it works for you!




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The Importance Of Eliminating Visual Clutter

Filed Under: Conscious Design Tagged With: advertising, clutter, coporate, logos, visual clutter

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Hey there Goalgetter! I’m Jenn – Bestselling Author | Spiritual Life & Business Coach | Creator of The Aligned Life and I teach you how to mind hack your way to your manifestation dreams!

 

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And now for a quick message from your Higher Self: And now for a quick message from your Higher Self:Love yourself enough to LET IT GOBreathe deep & have a happy Sunday my beautiful babes!
You are magic itself.And your desires have meani You are magic itself.And your desires have meaning for the WORLD.So if you really KNEW that you were here to feel happy and do the things that bring you joy, what would you be doing differently?If you’re like me, it’s too easy to forget our true divine nature.It’s too easy to believe our worries and limitations more than we trust ourselves and this beautiful journey.But if you could trust your magic for just a moment, what would change?If you knew your dreams where a matter of WHEN not if, how would this moment be different?All the magic you ever needed is IN you already. All you need to do right now is TUNE into it!
————————————————————————
with love + miracles ✨
~ Jenn
Identity shifting is KEY to manifesting.Because Identity shifting is KEY to manifesting.Because you ALWAYS manifest from your subconscious mind.Meaning you WILL play out old programs and ideas over and over again.Until YOU decide enough's enough! And do the work to REPROGRAM your mind to reflect what it you want and who you need to be.But sometimes, this work doesn't FEEL like it's doing anything.Those little tiny shifts on the inside are close to invisible--which might even make you doubt that it's happening at all.But trust me gorgeous, it IS.Keep taking tiny steps forward.Keep doubling down on who you WANT to be.TRUST the process and understandThat little by little, bit by bitIt all adds upUntil one day you look around and realize: I'm already there.
————————————————————————
with love + miracles ✨
~ Jenn
What would it be like to TRULY be enough for yours What would it be like to TRULY be enough for yourself?💜To not CRAVE that outside approval or validation?To forget about other people's opinions or what they say behind your back?To not motivate yourself to move TOWARDS something only because you cannot stand where you are?This just goes to show that as much as we all LOATHE to admit it, so much of what we do is based off of artificially leveraging ourselves UP.If so-and-so would only say "good job"If that person would LOVE meIf I finally did [ insert arbitrary goal here ]THEN I could finally feel good and actually TRULY love myself.Sometimes we all get our wires crossed on this at times. (Myself included!)We focus on the future fantasy that our issues will MAGICALLY disappear once X/Y/Z happens.And we chase the things outside of us, forgetting that the ONLY place our true happiness lies is within ourselves.I'm here to warn you:You could run the whole race of life and NOT get what you think you need from other people.You could meet milestone after milestone and still NEVER feel like you measure up. 😩ORYou could start being enough, right here, right now.Enough = you as you are, flaws, mistakes and all.Enough = you without anyone else.Enough = you.💗Happy Thursday Conscious Creator friends!
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with love + miracles ✨
~ Jenn
It's a FACT of life: you're simply NOT going to fe It's a FACT of life: you're simply NOT going to feel good all the time.And that's okay!Not gonna lie: the last month or so has been rough for me.The darkness of winter + strict lockdowns/limited holiday celebrations were TOUGH.I've definitely had my moments of letting it all get to me.But that doesn't mean anything has gone wrong.It doesn't mean that I'm somehow failing.And it definitely does NOT mean I'm putting more space between me and my manifestation goals.Even with the BEST of intentions, life is 50/50. Expecting perfection at any time will ONLY set you up for disappointment.Feeling frustrated, down, exhausted: those are all normal feelings for anyone experiencing a pandemic (plus general winter blues/ political chaos etc.)So while I don't want to create MORE of those feelings, I'm also not going to judge myself for having them.Making your feelings WRONG does not speed you up back into feeling better. It only creates self-loathing and resistance.Are you feeling the same? Here are a few things that are helping me right now:- Just letting myself cry if I feel like it (Sometimes 10 minutes of a good cry is a sufficient release!)
- Concentrating on pandemic-lockdown friendly goals that I CAN achieve (Doing pilates every day, meditation + Manifestation Journaling)
- Taking a break from drinking (I only drank about once a week anyway! But why not try going without it for a month?)
- Doing more behind-the-scenes entrepreneur stuff (The kinds of things that are so easy to put off for "someday")
- Using my SAD lamp every morning! (I only just got it but I swear it's helping)
- NOT judging myself too harshly if I suddenly don't feel up to doing the work I had planned or posting as much I "should" (Being an entrepreneur brings an EXTRA level of potential self-judgment that's hard to get out of at times.)This is all just a great example of one of the most important lessons of LIFE.You don't get to choose all your circumstances. But you DO get to choose what you do WITH them.What are you choosing to create right now? Whether you're in lockdown or not, I'd love to hear it!

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