Are you living your life by default?
You might be surprised to realize the answer is yes.
A default life is one where you just passively accept things the way life is showing up for you.
It’s living life without making it truly yours, without deciding on what you want and going after it, without truly making your beautiful magical world.
It’s all too easy to fall into living by default.
It’s all too easy to become a victim of your circumstances instead of the hero of your own story.
It’s all too easy to forget that YOU are the one that’s truly in charge and that if you don’t like something you have the power to change it.
Or do you want to live consciously?
To design your life with PURPOSE.
To determine what’s just not good enough and to know what to go after next.
Settling for the default means staying in a relationship that’s no longer serving you because it’s easier than breaking up and starting over.
Settling for the default means accepting the job you know is underneath you because you don’t think anything better is going to come along.
Settling the default is falling for the idea that your life is NOT truly yours to create (ie. giving your power away to everyone and everything around you).
And I know all this to be true because at one point ALL of those things applied to me.
I was definitely living by default–and it was no one’s fault but my own!
I signed up for it. I let someone else steer my boat. I even ENJOYED not living consciously.
Of course, when I think about it now, that seems like total madness!
So please don’t worry though if you’re in the same boat! There IS a way out.
It took a long time to figure that out exactly what had gone wrong, but hopefully reading this post will help push you down a different path.
That’s one of the reasons why I’m so PASSIONATE about helping people become conscious creators.
It’s my job to show you tell you that’s there’s another way to live your life.
And here’s some advice on exactly how to do that:
How To Stop Living Life By Default
Step 1: Get Clear About Your Values
What do you really want from life? What are the most important elements in this journey for you?
Our values are what create and shape our life and our happiness. When we’re out of alignment, we feel stress, depression or maybe just a lingering feeling that something is off.
Living life by default means you probably haven’t asked yourself these questions in quite a long time! And our answers constantly grow and change as we grow and change. It might come as a surprise to find out that what you held dear yesterday is not what you value right now.
So be honest with yourself about what makes you happy and about what you admire. Where do you feel jealousy or resentment? Those feelings can also hold important clues about where you might feel in lack.
Step 2: Get Comfy With Fear
Change is scary. New experiences are scary. And your brain’s Number One Job is to keep you safe. That was really great back in the day when getting eaten by a bear was a real possibility. But these days your brain is fooled into thinking that things like public speaking, going to a party with a bunch of strangers or starting a new job is scary. Like life-threateningly scary and it makes YOU act accordingly.
Yes, of course, all of those things can be awkward and weird, potentially embarrassing and filled with the unknown. But none of them have the power to kill you. It’s important to realize your brain is going overboard by trying to protect you! We have to try new things, make mistakes and potentially embarrass ourselves sometimes, especially when we’re trying out something new! And we all survive those moments. The reality is that no one is paying as much attention as you think they are! So take a deep breath and start thinking of yourself as downright fearless.
Step 3: Stop The Blame Game
Repeat after me: the more you blame other people or situations for where you are right now, the more you give your own power away! Look, I get it. Things haven’t always been easy. Life hasn’t always worked out exactly the way you’ve wanted it to. You’ve been disappointed, heartbroken, betrayed, maybe even abused.
And after a certain point it doesn’t matter.
But no matter what your story is, you always have a choice: to continue to let it define you. Or to create a new life DESPITE what you’ve been through. To live consciously is to write your own storyline! So if the old one isn’t serving you, then maybe it’s time to try out something new.
Step 4: Trust Your Intuition
Your gut and your heart are the two instruments that will forever keep you glued to the right path in life. When it comes down to it, you always know when something is off in your life: when the relationship isn’t working anymore, when the job loses its shine, when the moment to move on has come (no matter how in denial you might be about it). The more you tune into yourself, the more clear the “right” move will be.
Step 5: Chase Your Passion
The world is riddled with people who would rather you dull your sparkle instead of shine your beautiful light in this world (aka the haters). Those people would rather you fold up your arms and not bother living the life of your dreams because what’s the point? Never let the too cool for school arm chair critics win! The more passion, love and laughter you bring to the world, the more genuine happiness you will find.
Some people will sit back and mock your earnestness–but go ahead and let them. Because here’s the alternative: living a life devoid of true happiness because you’re too afraid of what you’re going to look like to someone else. Yeah, it’s definitely UNCOOL to wear your heart on your sleeve at times, but would you rather be cool or be happy? If you ask me, happiness is well-worth the trade off.
Step 6: Engage With Your Life
Are you spending much of your day hiding behind a screen? Maybe you’re guilty of watching hours and hours of TV or scrolling Facebook incessantly. I mean I get it: I still watch the Real Housewives and definitely hit that Facebook refresh button a little too often.
But it’s important to understand that your life happens offline. Your friends and family are out there in the real world (despite the limited connection you might have online). New experiences and adventures are also out there (despite being able to find more of them online). Life doesn’t happen while you’re staring at a screen! So make time to go out there and live yours and stop just watching someone else’s adventures scroll by.
I LOVED writing this post for you guys and I really hope it resonates with you! If you loved it please remember to say thanks by pinning or sharing it.
Have a beautiful week, my conscious creators!