Is something bothering you? No matter how zen you might be most of the time, we all get triggered now and again. However, you do not have to let yourself get carried away by your negative emotions!
Today I’m sharing three POWERFUL tips to help you stay in control of your mind and NOT completely lose it. Must-see tips for basically everyone!
In This Episode:
+ Learn why it’s so important to cultivate control over your mood & energy
+ Discover 3 powerful tips to keep you in charge, no matter what!
+ Feel more empowered to face anything life throws at you!
+ Much more
Thank you so much for watching!
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how to remain unbothered are you struggling with something in your life right now or maybe you’re having a big freakout over a major event well today i have three tips that are going to help you to get back in control and stop reacting so if that sounds like something you need then be sure to keep watching
what’s up gorgeous and welcome back to another episode my name is jenn stevens i’m a holistic manifestation coach and creator of recode manifestation academy i’m so excited to welcome you here today to my youtube channel this is where i create a brand new free training for you every week all about the art of upleveling your life by using the power of your mind so if you’re at all interested in letting go of your old broken patterns and shifting into your next level then you’ll want to go ahead and hit that subscribe button today we are talking about how to remain unbothered doesn’t that sound like an amazing place to be truthfully most of us are triggered many times throughout our day or our week and there’s nothing really wrong with that it’s just the natural way that your brain works but the problem is when you’re in reaction mode you are as far away from being a conscious creator as possible because basically it is your subconscious mind reacting and trying to protect you and you’re not really in conscious control of what’s going on if you’ve ever snapped back or done something very out of character when you were in a moment of rage or upset that’s really what’s going on it’s not that you consciously thought about this thing ahead of time it’s that that lizard part of your brain is the one stepping up and into control so of course we’re all gonna mess up from time to time and nobody is ever perfect but if you are living most of your life in reaction mode again you are not living in a conscious creator mode you are just reacting to the circumstances around you and you aren’t able to show up as the person who you really want to be with that all being said living in reaction mode is also incredibly exhausting if you are trying to micromanage everything in your life so that you can be happy i guarantee that you are going to number one fail at this job and number two burn yourself out in the process we can never control our life circumstances the only thing we can ever control is our reaction to them and when you can learn how to control your reactions and live in a more zen calm cool collected state you are going to have so much more of your energy left over for the things in life that you actually want and actually enjoy living in reaction mode is our default and it’s not like anyone took you aside in school and taught you that there was another way to be but with a few simple pointers you can get control back of your mind and your emotional state and i really suggest that if any of what i’m saying right now is resonating with you that you work on trying to implement this into your life the more peace you can have more calm and inner clarity you can have the better your life is going to be in general so while there are lots of different ways to remain unbothered today i wanted to concentrate on three big tips that are going to take you a very long way so tip number one is to remember to recognize what is real and what is not real so time that you are triggered or any time a situation comes up in your life that you are unhappy with you are rushing to fill in the blanks like there is something that has happened and then there’s a story that your brain creates and then there’s your reaction we are never really having an emotional reaction to something that happened in the real world we are having a reaction to the story in our mind that we made up about it it is really hard though admittedly to see the difference so one trick that i find really helpful especially when you’re in the heat of the moment is to come back to asking yourself what do i actually know to be true in this scenario so for example say you are in a relationship with somebody you text your boyfriend and he doesn’t text you back for six hours and in that six hours you have made up this incredible story about how he’s about to break up with you or if he’s just not into you and by the time he texts you back you are really short with him and really terse and it’s not a good interaction at that point scenarios like this happen all the time but if i could take this person who’s having this experience by the hand and slow it down a little bit i would want them to see the story part that they are making up in their minds so the fact of the situation is you texted your boyfriend and they did not text back in a certain amount of time but what is happening is that in your mind you are making that length of time mean something and you were reacting to that thing even though you really don’t have any idea of what’s actually happening so yes of course i know that there’s going to be someone out there saying well i’m really highly psychic and i do know what’s going on and that’s okay too but that is a separate situation what i really want you to remember is that the facts that you have in this situation are going to help to calm you down and bring you back down to planet earth if you are making up a story about how someone wants to dump you or they don’t like you where they don’t respect you because of something like missing a text that is really a story that you have invented and it is really important for you to see that that doesn’t mean you have to let it go that doesn’t mean you have to you know not say anything to this person like maybe this situation comes up and you you realize that you’re having this reaction and you realize that you don’t like this behavior so maybe the next step for you is to bring it up with this person and say i would appreciate it if you would at least acknowledge my text within an hour or something so i’m not wondering what’s happened to you you can set a boundary or make a request that’s not a boundary that was a request um and that might help you out in the future but again the most important thing to remember is that if you are already reacting like this person has dumped you or is about to dump you even though the only thing that actually happened was that they forgot to text you you are making a mountain out of a molehill you are taking flimsy evidence and turning it into something else and you are having a huge reaction based on that thing which we have no evidence about when you catch yourself doing this it is really interesting because your brain is absolutely convinced that what it sees is the right way and the only way but unfortunately humans are completely subjective like all of our life all of our perspectives are completely subjective it can be hard to talk yourself off the ledge with that but it is actually true and if you can just you know try to hold down the reaction try not to act as if someone’s about to dump you until you get more information until you can have a conversation that is going to save you so much mental time energy inner drama this one will just take you a very long way okay how to remain unbothered tip number two this is an excellent tip which goes so beyond just remaining unbothered this is really just a tip that is going to help to give you massive amounts of inner peace so the reason why we get upset sometimes is because we assume somebody is thinking or feeling something and we don’t want them to think or feel that thing a lot of us are very much in the micromanaging world we are uncomfortable with people having quote unquote negative thoughts about us we want everyone to think of us as an amazing person and we can spend a lot of our time trying to prove to other people that we are amazing so that we you know will get a certain reaction from them and be pretty well assured that they still think that we are amazing or whatever the problem with this of course is that no matter how hard you try no matter which words you pick no matter you know what your actions are you can try to be the nicest most giving person in the world none of these things are a guarantee that people are going to like you or love you or respect you this is a stupid little game that we like to play especially us people pleasers we are nice but it’s kind of really a form of manipulation we are nice so that somebody will think of us a certain way because fundamentally we are uncomfortable with the idea that somebody might not like us that is where the problem comes in of course it’s good to be nice to people and you want to treat the people that you care about nicely or people in general nicely but when we’re not really aware of what’s going on when we’re not aware that we’re doing this not for the other person but for our own needs that is when it’s actually about control and manipulation it’s not just about being nice this is a big thing to admit to yourself but if you resonate with this at all if you fall into the category of empath or people pleaser this one probably applies to you and there’s really a lot more i can say on the topic but for now the piece that i really just want you to take with you is well i guess that’s kind of a two-parter it’s you cannot never ever control what other people think about you you can be the nicest most giving person in the world and that is not a guarantee that someone is going to love you or respect you so that’s part one and part number two for that is that other people’s emotions are not our business they’re not our problem you do not have to cheer someone up or you know tiptoe around to make someone feel good in fact if you’re doing that on some level you are probably hiding who you are as a authentic being anytime you put someone else’s knees ahead of yours you are hiding who you are and what you really need in life which ends up being a sword that ends up pointing on yourself this is a difficult habit to break but honestly when you realize that all you can really do in life is show up as your best version say the things that feel good to you that feel in alignment for you but you have to let everything else go if someone doesn’t like it or they think you should have done more or they think you said the wrong thing or they just don’t like you even though you’ve been nice to them you just have to learn how to let that go because no amount of stressing is going to change that person you basically just can never control anyone else’s mind and when you really internalize that and know that inside of you you can let go of so much of the stuff so much of the little games we play so much of the drama that is true inner peace okay tip number three on how to remain unbothered this is to notice and kill your expectation hangover so this one goes hand in hand with the first tip that i gave you which was learning to recognize what is true in a situation versus what you’ve made up inside of your mind this point is all about the expectation hangover which really just means that most of the time when we get upset about something it is not because something has actually gone wrong in the world it is because the story that we made up in our mind about how things should be does not match what actually happened we think that our boss should have given us a raise we think that this person should not have broken up with us you know whatever the situation might be we had a different picture in our brain of what was going to happen and what actually happened was just something different this is just a function of your ego your ego is just doing its job which is to keep you safe and what your ego wants most in the world is to be able to reliably predict what is happening in your future so if you get an unexpected result like being let go of your job maybe a friend doesn’t want to hang out with you anymore or your boyfriend dumps you or you know whatever the case might be it’s not that those things are actually bad like relationships end and if you’re not in the relationship why would you want to stay in it no job basically lasts forever anymore all of these things that we take so personally rarely are as personal as we think they are yes even the boyfriend who is trying to blame you for the breakup it wasn’t all about you it was about the situation and it was probably if that person broke up with you more about the stuff going on in that person’s head than anything to do with you we make expectations about almost anything we expect that we are going to be able to drive to work and not run into crazy traffic we expect that when we go to starbucks they are going to have oat milk and not have run out we expect that our friends are going to stay in our life forever even though as an adult we tend to lose half of our friend group every seven years basically you are capable of changing and you are capable of growth and you are capable of handling these bumps in the road but it’s when we hold on to them when we make them mean something bad about us when we run around for six months complaining about the same thing to our friends over and over and over again that is not surrendering that is not letting go that is you holding on to the situation and reliving the same crappy experience over and over again so of course when something happens to you venting about it processing it like that’s a normal thing but there comes a time when that pity party has to end because if it isn’t ending you are literally stepping into it and reliving the trauma over and over again like your brain really can’t tell the difference between something you were just thinking about and something that you are actually experiencing so if you’re thinking about your breakup over and over and over again your body is basically going into that traumatic state every single time you think about it which is really unhealthy it will really have an impact on how you are feeling in general we’re all going to get an expectation hangover we are all going to hit a bump in the road that we did not expect but what really matters is your ability to bounce back from that you have to let it go you have to not take it with you and make it mean something bad about you you have to be ready to go into your next chapter as the shiniest brightest version of you right now making it sound like it’s really easy and it really takes a little bit more thought and a bit of effort to get there but what i just want to offer you in this tip is that it is possible for you and i just want to highlight the fact that your expectations can really be the source of so much angst and when you can learn how to let that go that leaves you very much unbothered okay so that is it for today’s training i really hope that you enjoyed this honestly i think i could talk about being unbothered in a lot of detail for a long time but i really think that these three tips today are going to take you a very long way to managing your mind and your emotions in whatever is happening in your world if you enjoyed this video and you’re craving more content then i invite you to come over and check out my recode manifestation academy it is basically like a gym for your mind and every single month i’m bringing you a brand new training similar to this but more in depth with worksheets and you know hypnosis meditations all designed to help you become your best self so if you want to learn more about that i’ll leave a link for that in the description box below if you enjoyed this video today please do me a favor give me a like and other than that i’m wishing you a very unbothered week and i will see you back here soon in the next video