One of the biggest obstacles preventing you from up-leveling your life and manifesting your dreams is that deep down inside you don’t feel worthy of them.
It’s one thing to dare yourself to dream big and to talk about all the things you want in life.
It’s another thing entirely to feel worthy of them.
But if you don’t feel deeply worthy, you won’t ever be able to step into that reality.
You’ll create excuses. You’ll put up blocks. You’ll feel so scared of facing something new that you cling to something old and familiar (even though the old and familiar aren’t truly serving you).
Worthiness is often not something we can even articulate to ourselves. It hides in the shadows. It lives underneath our bullshit stories and excuses.
I know all of this because worthiness is something I struggle with (and I know I’m not alone).
I’ve seen friends struggle with it too: turning down the emotionally available dates (in favor of some “safer” emotionally distant ones), booking a private show at an art gallery (and deciding our skills are not up to muster) or applying to a far away grad school (just after moving in with their long term boyfriend).
But feeling unworthy isn’t your fault. The world has trained you to feel that way.
Because when you feel unworthy you don’t rock the boat.
Because when you feel unworthy, you don’t try to change the world.
Because when you feel unworthy you’re happy to work a job you hate, spend hours self-medicating with your TV at night and getting yourself into more and more debt so that you get totally stuck.
You can choose to fight for it and start feeling more worthiness each and every day.
Or you can continue to play small.
It’s time to rise up and start challenging yourself. Fake it until you make it. Faking it feels gross and weird – until it doesn’t. It’s like those neat brain training affirmations, except for real life. You can put on your best coat and your expensive lipstick just for a trip to the freakin’ grocery store. You’re worth it.
You can order an appetizer and a main for dinner. Because you’re worth it.
You can say no to the guy on Tinder who’s just kind of meh. Because meh isn’t good enough. And you’re worth it.
It’s time to shower yourself with love because no one else is going to do it. It’s crucial to treat yourself well because that’s no one’s job but yours. (Really!)
Don’t wallow and wait. Don’t think that someone else will fix you. No one can make you feel worthy except you.
So be brave, my darling. Let’s do this.
How To Feel Worthy: A 5-Step Plan
How To Feel Worthy Step #1:
Make A Purchase Out Of Your Comfort Zone
Your shopping habits say a lot about how you think of yourself. Do you buy the things you love just because you want them or do you “punish” yourself by pushing them away? Even grocery shopping can become a test for your worthiness levels! Think about it: how would buying only organic or shopping at a “fancy” grocery store make you feel? It’s not always just about the cost; it’s about what we feel worthy of consuming!
Another example could be your wardrobe. The next time you have an important occasion to dress for why not go to a store that’s a step above your normal zone. Just the act of walking into a “fancy” shop can bring out all of those issues. Do you feel like you belong there? Do you feel okay with trying on clothes in the fitting room? Sometimes those issues don’t make themselves visible until we push ourselves out of our comfort zone.
You can totally try this exercise without purchasing anything!
How To Feel Worthy Step #2:
Love On Yourself
One of the most difficult personal development exercises a person struggling with worthiness can do is look in the mirror and tell yourself that “I love you”. I know it sounds like a ridiculous self-improvement cliche but I challenge you to hold back your amusement and reservations and give it a go. It can be stunning to find out how difficult this small task can be.
When we feel unworthy of love and respect, we also inherently feel a lack of self-love and acceptance. But now’s the perfect time to throw your old excuses for not loving yourself out the window. So your body isn’t perfect, you’ve made mistakes in the past, you’ve messed up here and there. The same can be said for every other person on this planet!
Despite all the flaws and imperfections, you are still deeply deserving of love (just like you are deeply deserving of having air to breathe and a roof over your head). Stop making excuses about why you can’t love yourself and just try it out for a few minutes today.
Again, please don’t over look this crucial step! Loving ourselves, despite of all the “evidence” that we shouldn’t, is a true act of bravery in a world that encourages us to play small.
How To Feel Worthy Step #3:
Take Care Of Your Body
The way you treat your body says a lot about how you think of yourself. Diet, exercise and even grooming speak volumes about what you feel worthy of. But don’t worry: this isn’t about running six miles every morning or becoming raw vegan! This isn’t about fitting some “perfect” health routine or diet. There are many ways you can take care of your body, in a healthy and loving way.
So take a look at your normal routine. Are you eating three meals a day? Moving your body? Eating fruit and vegetables? Avoiding fast food? Drinking enough water? Of course, living a Gwyneth Paltrow-approved Moon Juice heavy life isn’t feasible for everyone! But your everyday care habits can say a lot about how worthy you feel in your body.
How To Feel Worthy Step #4:
Take Care Of Your Wardrobe
Think about the most confident person you know in real life. I’m willing to be that person also presents themselves in a way that oozes confidence and worthiness. Even if their clothes are not the latest designer selections, they probably take care of themselves enough to wear things that fit properly and are not worn out.
As a home-based entrepreneur, I can easily fall into the schlumpy “home wear” if I don’t think about what I’m doing! But even if I don’t have to leave the house, the way I dress has a marked effect on my mindset! It’s something of a two-way street. If I wear what I call “day pajamas” I also feel a bit lazy and embarrassed. If I get actually dressed, not only do I get more done but I feel better about the work I did. Funny right?
The bottom line is that the clothing you wear has an effect on how you feel about yourself! So maybe it’s time to ditch the everyday yoga wear and worn-out t-shirts for something that feels good. Try it out for a week and see how much better you feel!
How To Feel Worthy Step #5:
Upgrade Your Space
The things you choose to surround yourself with also have a huge impact on the way you think of yourself. So take a look around your space and try to see your space objectively. Are you surrounded by things that need to find a home, random piles of things, clutter, disarray? Do you keep tons of mementos and souvenirs from times and relationships past? Do you regularly lose time looking for lost items or avoiding things that aren’t clean?
This exercise isn’t about throwing everything out and purchasing all new everything from Anthropologie. There is always a way to lovingly care for your space (and yourself) at the same time.
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Feeling unworthy is a subtle way we sabotage ourselves but working on feeling worthy is a powerful antidote. I hope this post inspires you to work on your worthiness levels and finally level-up your manifesting practice.
Thank you so much for reading! Much ????