When you study the Law of Attraction for a while, sooner or later you’re going to start questioning some of your long-held beliefs. And you might be surprised to learn the things that you’ve always turned to suddenly don’t make as much sense anymore!
While this will happen with a lot of things, I’m specifically talking here about the concepts of fairness or deserving.
Our human brains simply like the world around us to make sense! We like to think that if we do X, Y and Z then we’ll get what we want, almost as if there’s a way to tally up all those “good” actions and turn them into the desired result.
But let’s be clear: the idea of deserving is simply a trick of the ego.
Yet most of us sit around all day judging those around us who deserve what they’ve got and those who don’t.
This judgment seems to be part of our human nature! Yet it also means we’re ultimately setting everyone on a scale, where the opposite ends of the scale mean okay or not okay.
But life doesn’t work like that! The concept of deserving is false.
All humans are inherently deserving, despite our many flaws and mistakes.
Do you ever think that we don’t deserve the air that we breathe?
Of course not!
Gravity just is. The sun rises and sets. The earth spins on its axis. And the Law of Attraction is always working.
You don’t have to DESERVE it to work more or less than someone else. It just works.
Western society has conditioned us to think we need to work at life in order to deserve it. We need to work at looking beautiful and losing weight in order to deserve love. We need to struggle and strive in our job in order to deserve making lots of money.
But there are plenty of people out there who defy all of those ideas! So why don’t we look at those people as proof and stop trying so fucking hard to be deserving?
I’m sure you can think of more than a few people that don’t seem to “deserve” their beauty, wealth or talent. We want those people to match our expectations about how the world should operate–and when they don’t we get upset!
We like to think the world is fair, even though we can think of many MANY reasons why life doesn’t actually work like that.
But all of those people you just thought of are proof that “deserving” doesn’t mean anything.
So why hold yourself accountable to the idea of deserving when it doesn’t actually apply in the real world?
The idea that we need to earn, struggle and strive to get what we want is damaging. At best, it means we’ll never get to relax and enjoy our life because we’re too busy constantly trying to earn it. At worst it means we’ll never actually get where we want to go because no one has told us we deserve it yet.
And of course, the only person you can truly decide on your worthiness is YOU.
In reality, there are multiple paths to getting what we want.
What would life be like if you landed a huge amount of money without putting the overtime?
What would life be like if you got the guy without losing fifteen pounds or training yourself to laugh at all his dumb jokes? (Shocking idea, I know!)
And you’ll never discover how easy those paths might be if you are committed to the idea that you need to STRUGGLE first in order to achieve it.
The idea that we need to struggle to earn and deserve is all one giant lie that we’ve been fed. We’ve swallowed it hook, line and sinker.
But it’s time to snap out of it! Because there is another way.
So be honest with yourself: is your shiny happy future only available to you after you hustle and push? Maybe deep down you think your goals couldn’t possibly happen tomorrow because you haven’t PUSHED enough yet.
But instead, you can decide on EASE and flow any time you like. You just have to change your story about yourself, how you see the world and what you expect for your future.
So if you need some more clarity on how to do that, keep reading!
6 Ways To Remove The Concept of Deserving
Deserving & The Law of Attraction Tip #1:
Many of the reasons that we feel unworthy stem from our past. Think about the people who have hurt you and made you feel unworthy. In reality, the people who feel the need to make others hurt and feel unworthy of life are always the people who feel the most unworthy themselves. The friend that tears you down behind your back is really just attempting to make themselves feel better in relation. (Of course, this approach never actually works but that doesn’t stop the hurt person from trying!)
But the truth is that no one can make you feel anything without your permission! There will always be an internet troll out there ready to hurl obscenities at almost everyone but most of us know not to take those basement dwellers too seriously. It can be a little more difficult when the person being mean is someone you know quite well! But the principle is the same in both situations. Being mean and trying to drag you down is a reflection of them, never of you.
Deserving & The Law of Attraction Tip #2:
We all have the experience of remembering VIVIDLY some mean comment a popular kid said to you back in sixth grade. I’m sure you’ve had thousands of compliments and awesome times since then but for some reason, those negative experiences are seared into our memories with astonishing intensity. And that’s just one example! We learn a lot of things from the people around us, including their sometimes shady (and untrue!) opinions about us.
All of that negativity can add up over time and make us feel very unworthy. But the only opinion that truly matters in this life is your own. There’s no logical reason to hold onto the opinions that someone foisted on you twenty years ago. It’s very likely that they weren’t true back then, and it’s even more unlikely that they’re true now! So don’t let someone else’s bad day determine your long-term worthiness.
It might be difficult at first but you can always shut out all that unwanted noise and focus in on the only opinion that truly matters: your own.
Deserving & The Law of Attraction Tip #3:
The World Is Our Mirror
The world we live in is always a mirror of our internal world. But that also means that we see our own problems reflected everywhere we look.
Our own judgments about the world are just a reflection of our own self-worth. Feeling resentment about someone else receiving a raise shows how inadequate we feel in that department. Judging the girl who snags the hot guy is just a reflection of our own unworthiness levels.
The things that bother you the most about other people can offer you the biggest clues about your own insecurities. So when those judgments pop up it’s time to get curious! Take a look inside when something pops up and get the courage to discover what you’re really feeling.
Deserving & The Law of Attraction Tip #4:
Shame is one of the most poisonous methods of mind control in the world. And again, it doesn’t work without your permission. When someone is trying to shame you, they’re placing their own judgments on you. Of course while empirically you might realize that, the sharp sting of shame can still do its work at keeping you small.
So take a look at what you’re being asked to feel ashamed of. Of daring to claim space in the world? Of showing your true talents? For asking for what you need? None of those things are truly shameful! So why is someone attempting you to feel that way? Gaining clarity about where you’re being asked to feel shame and why is the magic wand for warding off a shame attack.
Deserving & The Law of Attraction Tip #5:
Drop The Struggle
So many of us think that we really need to push, to earn, to hustle in order to get what we want. Even when it comes to manifesting, it can be difficult to shake that “push harder” mindset! But sometimes we opt for the struggle because we feel deep down inside that we can’t be worthy of achieving our goals until we earn it.
If you fundamentally feel unworthy of what you’re asking for, you’re also likely to put up invisible barriers to your own success. You’ll say no, miss opportunities and talk yourself out of what you really want because YOU don’t feel like you should really get it.
There’s no real reason why you shouldn’t have a million dollars right now without putting in the years of effort and struggle first! If it could be so easy, then why aren’t you letting it?
Many of the difficulties on the path to manifesting are of our own doing! So maybe it’s time to drop the struggle and go for ease! Sometimes when you get out of your own way you can finally claim those things in life that you really want.
Deserving & The Law of Attraction Tip #6:
Our extremely fallible human brain just loves to categorize the world around us. We really want everything to make sense! But that means we start assigning meaning where sometimes there isn’t any. For example, we start thinking that hard work is a necessary element of success.
Of course, putting in effort is necessary to achieve our goals but you’re probably also aware of the deep truth that extra effort doesn’t always pay off!
You can also strategize better than other or have a divine stroke of luck and neither of those things are a result of “deserving”.
It might be difficult but the less you classify things as fair or right, the less black and white your thinking will be around this topic. Besides, you also only have your perspective to rely on!
In reality, people are far more complex than we typically give them credit for. You will never truly know another person’s full story, even if you know them well. Stay humble and remember that there are many possibilities in this beautiful world.
Take a deep breath and say it with me now: I am deserving exactly as I am! There’s no need to push, change or earn. The addiction to struggle is just an illusion that we’ve created and as long as we still believe in it, it will continue to show up in our reality. The big question is what would life be like if you could finally bust through the illusion?
I hope we find out together! Good luck and much ????