We manifest our reality.
That’s true, right? Obviously, as someone who’s obsessed with helping people manifest their best lives, I talk about this idea a lot. But I’ve recently been thinking about how the oversimplification of this idea has become harmful and toxic.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how I can clarify my message here because I never want to be putting harmful ideas into the world. I admit that sometimes that might be exactly what I’m doing unless I stop to clarify. So that’s why we’re here today.
I’m 100% for creating empowerment. I’m 100% behind people going after their desires.
And I also believe that we can create so MUCH of our reality.
But we don’t create absolutely everything.
While I’ve always used manifestation as a tool for empowerment, I also understand that this line of thinking becomes dangerous when we apply it to certain situations.
But today I want to talk about manifestation, spiritual bypassing, and the biggest negative experiences we have in this human life: sexism, racism, abuse etc.
For example, I have seen one famous “manifestation coach” who completely spiritually bypasses the concept of sexism by saying that if you don’t think about it it won’t happen to you. Which is utter BS of course.
I’ve also seen spiritual/wellness influencers encouraging people to not pay attention to the (crazy) news cycles lately so that what’s happening in the world won’t affect them. (Because if you pay attention then you manifest it into your world.)
Also total fake spiritual garbage.
It’s this bubble of conformity (packaged as non-conformity) that has allowed ideas like QAnon to flourish within the spiritual community.
And I’m beyond done with it.
I’ve hesitated to put this out there before because I didn’t yet have the right understanding nor the courage. But for some reason, I’m being called to say this publicly now:
This victim-blaming spiritual-bypass approach is always just a result of our human ego, not actually spirituality. Doing nothing with your awareness and energy is never the answer and shame on anyone who ever encouraged this.
True spirituality is never about shrugging your shoulders when you see oppression or abuse or blaming those who experience it because “they manifested it”.
I definitely have made statements that might sound like this is what I believe. So I just need to go on record today to say that it isn’t.
Some things are beyond our control, and one of those things is the actions of other people. Another is the attitude of the collective. We can’t personally manifest that. But we can begin to change it.
I believe 2020 was the giant collective wake-up call. We’re seeing the true nature of reality and it’s not so pretty. But what you choose to do with that is your decision. If we’re all truly part of the same consciousness, then does it make sense to turn your back on certain issues or to blame people for their circumstances?
I definitely don’t think so. So with that in mind, today there are a few issues that I want to talk about specifically and why you didn’t manifest them.
Why You Don’t Manifest Abuse, Sexism, Racism Etc: Victim Blaming & Spiritual Bypassing
Victim Blaming & Spiritual Bypassing
Why You Don’t Manifest Abuse
Abuse is a tricky thing to talk about because there are so many variables.
Let’s look at a personal example. Did I manifest a narcissist partner who gaslighted me? Yes, you betcha sweet pants that I did. But does that mean that person is blameless? No, of course not.
Looking back of course I can see how I (The Empath) attracted in the exact wrong relationship for me. But I now know, I was meant to grow from that experience. I know that I needed to get out of my old co-dependent ways of thinking and learn to truly stand on my own feet.
Of course, it’s very easy for me to think that this experience was fated many years later. It wasn’t so easy to see any of that when I was in it. However, I do ultimately believe that was part of my karma and it really did teach me so much about myself.
But does that means the person who emotionally abused me is not personally responsible for their behavior? Of course not.
I sincerely hope that that person has reflected and grown and changed. However, I also have the luxury of leaving it all in the past. I’ve made peace with the situation in my mind.
But while I hope everyone can make peace with their unique situation in their mind, not everyone has the luxury of just leaving it all in the past.
If you experienced physical abuse, for example, you probably want to press charges because you want to prevent that situation from happening to someone else.
I also have a tough time imagining what “spiritual lessons” could come from physical abuse. If you have found a lesson there, more power to you! But if you can’t, you have my permission to stop looking.
Knowing what was true for me does not mean I know what’s true for everyone. I would never pin anyone’s experience of abuse onto them. I would never tell them they “manifested it” or that it’s just part of their soul contract, and that’s that. Using those ideas to excuse the perpetrators or to shrug your shoulders about how that abuse came to exist in the system is how the cycle of abuse continues to exist.
Child abuse is another example.
Obviously, most children wouldn’t even know what abuse was before it happened to them. Therefore they can’t attract it in because of their vibration. That’s quite a bit different than me attracting in an experience based on my own feelings of lack.
Similarly, I believe that’s it’s true to a certain degree that some (shitty) things are just set in stone (like getting sick or experiencing the loss of a partner). Could child abuse be similar? Perhaps, but I have a hard time believing that everyone who experienced abuse chose it on a soul level. And I definitely do not believe that this idea should allow for child abuse to simply get swept under the rug.
There’s never an excuse for the perpetrators. Nor is there any excuse for anyone who wants to play dumb and in turn, allow those same conditions to manifest over and over again. Nor should you ever feel unjustified in your pain or pursuing psychological or legal help.
While we don’t get to pick all of our circumstances, we do get to decide on what those things mean to us and about us. If someone did something horrible to you, please know that you did not bring it on yourself, and any suggestion to the contrary is shockingly inhumane and irresponsible. If a spiritual teacher suggests this, do yourself a favor and run.
Victim Blaming & Spiritual Bypassing
Why You Don’t Manifest COVID/Illness
I’ve unfollowed so many people in the last year because of misinformation like this, it’s kind of crazy. But one of the most recent people I unfollowed had everything to do with the victim-blaming spiritual-bypassing of COVID.
I was listening to a podcast recently that was talking about how COVID only manifests for those who are afraid of it. They went on to imply that if you simply ignore the news you will somehow avoid catching it.
Again, total victim-blaming BS.
I would never in a million years tell someone with cancer that they “manifested” it. It’s the exact same thing with COVID.
Turning illness into a moral shortcoming is seriously messed up.
And yes, I was stuck in literal quarantine with someone who had COVID and I didn’t get it! I do credit some of that to my mindset. But only to a certain extent. I refuse to blame the people who get it for their “weak” mindset.
Anyone who thinks getting sick is a moral failure needs to check back in with what true spirituality is in the first place.
The mind-body connection is real. And yes I do believe that we can manifest certain physical ailments. But who out there is thinking about cancer to the point that they create it?
So in other words, yes, we can manifest things into our body but that does not mean we’ve manifested everything.
For example, most people would not choose to manifest signs of aging but that’s just going to happen because we’re human. You can pretend that you’re 20 years old for your whole life. You can probably live a long and healthy life by thinking that way! But you do not get to bypass old age or death entirely.
See the difference?
We don’t get to pick when we come in and out of this life. But we can make choices that are good for us and don’t put us (or the people around us) in danger. To preach anything else is dangerous and spiritually bankrupt.
Victim Blaming & Spiritual Bypassing
Why You Don’t Manifest Racism/Sexism
Again, I’m calling to mind the very well-known “manifestation coach” who completely ignores the topic of feminism. It absolutely blows my mind that any woman who runs her own business and has her own bank account could ignore the work of the women who fought for those things. And I’m absolutely shocked that there are so many people who just follow along this line of thinking so blindly!
But just to make it absolutely clear: we’re never going to “elevate” past this level of thinking unless we do the work to undo it.
We’ve all been raised in a white supremacist/ patriarchal society, which means we’ve all been programmed with those beliefs to some degree.
You might not think of yourself as being racist or sexist. And you probably don’t agree with those ideas nor are you “trying” to be racist etc.
But you are probably still perpetuating those ideas at certain times. That’s because they’ve been so deeply embedded into your subconscious mind that you’re not aware of them. Your subconscious bias is no fault of yours but make no mistake, it is still yours.
That means that refusing to examine this stuff within yourself is choosing to uphold those old beliefs. You might not have put those beliefs in your own mind but they will stay there unless you do the work to undo the damage now.
Telling someone they can overcome sexism or racism (or homophobia or whatever) by ignoring it is yet another example of spiritual bypassing. To suggest that you’re too “evolved” to worry about those things is exactly what allows those problems to persist.
Simply put, you’re either part of the problem or the solution.
Basically, this is all akin to telling a marginalized group that they are solely responsible for everything that has happened to them and washing your hands of it. For me, that’s completely unacceptable.
However, this isn’t all doom and gloom!
Personally, one of the reasons I’m so excited about mindset work and subconscious transformation is because I see the potential for this to make a huge impact on the way we collectively think.
If we can each take personal responsibility for the (unwanted) ideas in our minds and do the work to heal them, that’s how we created new generations of humans that truly don’t have those old outdated, and harmful ideas. That’s how we create new societies and new ways of being in this world.
But this definitely won’t just happen from ignoring and pretending those things don’t exist. So again, anytime a spiritual person tells you it’s okay to ignore your fellow humans or the issue at hand, I’d be highly suspect of their true motivations.
Where To Go From Here
So no we don’t create everything but we also don’t have to let our circumstances define who we are and where we go from here.
For me, it’s much more useful to apply manifestation and mindset practices to this side of the equation rather than using those ideas to blame people for their own pain.
We control our thoughts. We control our emotions. We control our stories. We control our actions.
The most important questions are always: where do we want to go from here? And who do we want to be?
You can’t ever manifest a perfect existence. But that doesn’t mean manifestation isn’t real.
Again, these ideas can be used to continue oppression and trauma. Or we can use them to heal ourselves, and in turn, the world.
I hope you’re ready to make the conscious decision to do that starting today! Let’s do the important work of healing and changing the world together.