No matter what you’re manifesting goals are–big or small–there’s one thing that’s always true about the process.
Getting new results always equals being different, in one way or another.
Think about it: being who you’ve always been is what created your life now. So achieving new results will also mean changing some of your habits, behaviors and beliefs.
FYI, this is less about becoming better (because you’re not good enough the way you are) and more about unlearning all the bad mental habits that you’ve picked up over a lifetime. You’ve been deserving and capable this entire time. But it’s those negative stories, beliefs and thought patterns that are getting your way!
The truth is you’ve had the capacity to be your best self this entire time! But when we default to fear, our worries and insecurities will always bubble up and get in the way.
It’s not enough to simply think about the habits and behaviors you would have as this new version of you. It’s also key that you internalize them. When things are just part of your identity, that’s when you’ll find the most success.
Excited to get started? This four-step process will help you transform into exactly who you really want to be!
How To Become Who You Want To Be
How To Become The Person You Really Want To Be Step #1:
Throw Away Your Ideas
Our attachment to current identity is one of the biggest stumbling blocks to change. When you ask someone why they haven’t created the million-dollar business of their dreams, they might answer: “I’m just not that good with money.” Or maybe the person who’s looking for love would say: “I’m just not good at relationships.”
But this way of thinking is just letting your past interfere with your future potential! Remember there was a time in your life when you didn’t know how to tie a shoelace or drive a car. But you learned–even though both of those things seemed difficult at the time. Imagine what would happen if a little kid told you “I’m just not the type to tie a shoelace!” That would be a ridiculous thing for them to say instead of just learning how to do it. But when it comes to adults, we do this all the time!
No matter how old you are, you get to learn new things. If you’re not good at something and you want to change, you can practice getting better! When you say “I’m just not good at money/love/public speaking” you’re only speaking a half-truth. That may have been your experience so far but you have the choice to keep believing that moving forward or not.
The bottom line is that being overly attached to your old ideas of you have created your results so far. If you want to try out being someone new, you’ve got to throw yourself off the deep end and get willing to discover your true potential! Dropping your old ideas about you might be the best possible for move for your future success!
How To Become The Person You Really Want To Be Step #2:
Focus On Who You Want To Be
So now that you’re willing to drop your old ideas about yourself, it’s time for the exciting part! Let’s design the person you want to be.
Yes, I said design. Because truthfully our personas are always our own creation in the end. So tell me: if you had the ability to choose whatever kind of persona you wanted and to start fresh, who would you want to create? Where do you want to go?
Please take your time answering this! I recommend that you to grab a piece of paper and spend 20 minutes writing out your ideas. What would you want to do with your time and career? What would you like other people to say about you? You might have a lot of ideas at first so look for the common threads. It might also help to think about people you admire and why you admire them. Typically, these people all have some things in common, even if they look very different at first glance.
Then sleep on your answers! Sometimes the first thing that pops to mind isn’t your real priority! Just be deliberate about what you choose, as this is the ultimate lesson in consciously creating your life.
How To Become The Person You Really Want To Be Step #3:
Look For Evidence
Ever wonder why you’re always right? Unfortunately, it’s not just your smarts and intuition! Your brain is incredibly talented at looking for evidence that supports your beliefs. It’s literally filtering the world to support your beliefs at every moment of the day.
Of course, this poses a great challenge when you set out to change your beliefs. Your brain is going to show you a pile of “evidence” to reinforce your old identity at first. But don’t take the bait! Instead, simply start looking for evidence of the thing you want to believe.
I’m not going to lie: this process is going to feel clunky and strange at first! It’s like the mental version of squeaky gears that need some oil and momentum to start going. So just keep going with it! On the plus side, your brain really loves this game. The more evidence for your new belief that you can find, the easier it will be for your brain to find more and more.
This is the most fool-proof way to lock in your new identity! When your brain believes you are who you desire to be, you’re not going to have to bother finding evidence and reframing your beliefs. That new version of you will actually just be you.
How To Become The Person You Really Want To Be Step #4:
The final way to harness the energy of who you want to be is by acting like that person now. So don’t wait until you “feel like it”! Start choosing that new identity today and you’ll be surprised at just how fast your reality responds.
A good question to ask yourself is about this is: “If I were a ______ person already, how would I behave?”
For most of us, our future identity means a lot more than just one word! So experiment with this question and the qualities you want to embody: confidence, success, kindness etc.
Every time you go through this exercise, jot down your ideas on a piece of paper. When you’r finished look at what you’ve come up with. Now you get to start challenging yourself: how can you start acting like this today, tomorrow and every day going forward? What new habits do you need to create for yourself?
Maybe it’s getting up at 5 every day to go for a run. Maybe it’s putting on a full face of makeup for your stay-at-home job. Maybe it’s choosing a salad at lunch! We’re all different. But whatever actions come up for you, just be sure to truly enact those changes in your life starting now.
Adopting a new identity is something we truly have the power to do at any time! So whatever your old identity might be (wallflower, un-athletic, self-conscious) you really can throw that away and start all over again! We can learn new ways of being just like any other skill or habit. You’re truly only limited by your imagination and your belief in yourself.
Did you try out this process? What were your results?
As always I’d love to hear how this worked for you, so drop a comment below and let me know!
Good luck, much ???? & thanks for reading!
PS Looking for more? You might also want to check out this post about choose your words to change your life or this one about what to do if you feel broken.
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