Ready to become the coolest person you know?
I mean, why wouldn’t you want that? When it comes to setting intentions, I love the power of a solid and concrete goal. But I also love to get out of my comfort zone and play with some more abstract concepts.
Enter: becoming the coolest person you know.
Now when I say that, what’s your first reaction? Is it something like “Oh no, that could never be me.” That in itself is your perfect first clue: what exactly does cool mean to you and why do you think you could never be that way? Why don’t you think it’s available to you?
It’s important to know that when I use the word “cool” I don’t mean wearing the latest “cool” clothes or going to the most exclusive events. It certainly can mean those things for the right person. But they’re not necessary at all.
It’s important to know that when you focus on the outside stuff exclusively, you’re not creating true “cool” (not in my mind anyway!). You’re simply following a formula because you’re hoping it will make people accept you or admire you.
So let’s get it straight: true “cool” doesn’t have anything to do with what other people think. It’s actually about what you genuinely think and feel about yourself.
If it’s not really making you happy (and you’re doing it to impress someone else), then it’s not the real deal.
What is the real deal then?
Confidence. Joy. Self-expression.
These three things are the bedrock of a wonderful life. A happy, confident, fully-expressed person is who we all want to be. In my book, that’s the real cool–and the good news is, that level of cool can never ever be taken away from you.
So if you’re ready to challenge yourself to make this life (and yourself) the very best it can be, here’s my quickstart guide to help you become the coolest person you know.
How To Become The Coolest Person You Know: 10 Must-Know Tips
Become The Coolest Person You Know: Tip #1:
They Learn New Things
What have you always wanted to learn how to do? My big question is: why are you putting off actually learning how to do it?
Truth is, there’s a big fat learning curve with anything in life. Sometimes we don’t want to try something new because we’re afraid we’re going to suck at it. And truthfully, we probably will suck at it at first! But there’s no fast-forward button to press that lets you avoid awkward beginning steps. So instead of getting caught up in looking dumb or making a mistake, get caught up in the energy of expanding yourself and testing your boundaries. Give yourself credit for making the efforrt!
Besides, learning something new isn’t always about mastery. So don’t stop your progress with this if you don’t immediately feel competent at your new chosen hobby or skill.
Become The Coolest Person You Know: Tip #2:
They Don’t Wait For “Someday”
The coolest person in the room knows that putting off things for “someday” is BS. For example, if they want to go to Greece, then they just go ahead and book the trip. They know that constantly wishing for something takes almost as much energy as just going ahead and doing the damn thing.
They know there’s power in doing things now. They’re not sitting around waiting for the “right” romantic or travel partner or for the perfect amount of money in their bank account. If they want it, they commit to it and they make it happen. And guess what? They come back from that trip feeling all the happier and stronger for it.
Are you secretly waiting for something or something to come along and give you permission to actually do the things you want to do? Whether it’s traveling someplace new or buying yourself an apartment, please don’t put off those dreams. When you think about it, you’re just avoiding living the life that you really want–and there’s absolutely nothing cool about that.
Become The Coolest Person You Know: Tip #3:
They Dress Up
The coolest person you know isn’t necessarily wearing the latest Balenciaga sunglasses or the coolest outfits from TikTok. But they do dress up and make an effort, because they know that they are worth it. They deeply understand that life is what you make it. If you choose daily sweatpants, you get a daily sweatpants kind of life! But on the other hand, if you make every moment a real occasion and actually dress the part, you make those “everyday” moments feel more special and meaningful.
Besides, what good is it to have a wardrobe full of fancy clothes that you never bother wearing? It’s not about dressing up to impress others. But when you impress yourself, trust me! The whole world will stand up and take notice.
Become The Coolest Person You Know: Tip #4:
They Pursue Pleasure Daily
Our toxic-masculine workaholic-loving society does not look fondly upon downtime. You’re expected to somehow just be a capitalist robot all the time. Is it any wonder that more and more of us are experiencing burnout every year?
Of course, the coolest person you know has a plan to minimize burnout: simply by making their own pleasure a priority. They know there’s no shame in it and they can’t be bothered to care what other people think about it. And that’s definitely not to say that they don’t work hard. When they work, they work. But they also understand the magical healing powers of rest, and how resting always makes them better.
When was the last time you allowed yourself to play or simply relish in the existence of life? That might mean playing video games or doing a puzzle. It also might mean going out for a night of dancing to focus on letting your body just do its thing or sitting on a cute patio with a good book. The cool person indulges in those things freely and without guilt. Their life is definitely not just about working to live. It’s also about experiencing joy and pleasure wherever they can and they take that part seriously.
Become The Coolest Person You Know: Tip #5:
They Don’t Compare Themselves
The coolest person in the room isn’t losing any sleep over what their friends (or the Kardashians) are up to. They’re able to focus on their own life first and they know that playing the comparison game (no matter who you play it with!) is always a losing proposition.
Comparisonitis is a one-way ticket to feeling like hot garbage. It doesn’t matter whether you’re comparing yourself to the Kardashians or to your best friend or to that wellness influencer on Instagram. You will simply never be able to see the truth of that person’s life: the blood, sweat, tears, and many mistakes behind them.
Besides, the coolest person you know is focused on their life first and foremost. They don’t have time to agonize over who’s doing what because they’re busy actually doing cool things.
Become The Coolest Person You Know: Tip #6:
They Embrace Fear
Whether it’s going for a new hike or asking out their latest crush, the coolest person you know isn’t spending endless time deliberating it over in their mind. They’ve learned how to build self-trust over the years, by continually throwing themselves off the deep end into new, uncharted territory.
The things that terrify other people simply don’t phase them, but not because they have some secret power that you don’t. It’s born from the simple fact that they know they’ll do their best and they trust themselves.
But don’t get this twisted! This also doesn’t mean that they always get things right. As humans, we must simply face the fact that sometimes we’ll fall on our face–and that’s okay. Letting things stop you will never let you transcend fear. The only thing that works is learning how to get cozy with the discomfort, setbacks, and failures.
Become The Coolest Person You Know: Tip #7:
They Don’t Always Talk About Themselves
It’s sometimes a surprise to find out that that coolest person you know is, in fact, even cooler than you thought. That’s because they don’t feel compelled to advertise every little thing that they do. They simply don’t need to overshare, trauma dump, or update everyone on every last detail of their life.
It’s not that they’re not proud of those accomplishments. But they don’t need extra external validation and praise from other people in order to feel good about those accomplishments.
Honestly, there’s nothing cooler than someone who can meet their own needs emotionally! They’re not controlling or manipulating those around them, even subconsciously.
So think about it: do you have the instinct to share everything? Get curious about why that is and start to notice how that might be showing you where you need to do some self-healing work.
Become The Coolest Person You Know: Tip #8:
They Don’t Compete
The coolest person in the room will happily celebrate the success of those around them. They don’t secretly believe that a win for someone else means a loss for themselves. They will bestow compliments and praise when they feel called to do so and they feel called to do so regularly.
Similarly, they don’t feel the need to engage in one-up-manship or give unsolicited “helpful” advice. They don’t need to compete in the present or in the past and they don’t need to position themselves as a mentor or guide in order to feel important. All of those things simply signal insecurity and as a wildly secure person, the coolest person you know is incredibly secure. They don’t have to play games or pit themselves against anyone else because their sense of self comes from the inside.
Become The Coolest Person You Know: Tip #9:
They Have Boundaries
The coolest person you know is really damn good at saying no. It’s not that they want to offend anyone but it’s that they know they have to take care of themselves first. If there’s an activity or invitation that doesn’t light them up, they’re not going to play nice or lie to themselves. They’re comfortable simply declining, with the knowledge that any freakouts happening in the mind of the other person are not about them. They don’t have to micromanage the thoughts and feelings of those around them because they can do that for themselves and they trust that everyone else can too.
Become The Coolest Person You Know: Tip #10:
They Are Emotional Adults
While no one ever told us it was time to graduate from being emotional children into adults, the coolest person you know is already there. They know that being able to manage their emotions is the one super-power they can cultivate in this life. This allows them to take full responsibility for their life–a key ingredient in creating the epic kind of life we all dream about.
After all, if you’re busy resenting things from your past or blaming others for where you are, you’re giving your power away. It’s also knowing that you are the only person who can hurt your feelings. For example, if someone’s ghosted you, you know it’s a shitty experience but you also know that it’s a reflection of that other person and not you.
That’s not to say that you can’t acknowledge your setbacks or hardships. It’s not to say you can’t have empathy for the very real setbacks or hardships other people have experienced. And it’s not definitely not to say that you can’t call people out for hurtful things when it’s appropriate or necessary. But instead of getting caught up in what people “should have” done or what is or isn’t right, the cool person is focused on what’s next. They take all that information into account and then decide their next step based on what they really want, not out of reaction or victim-mentality.
So tell me: what does becoming the coolest person you know look like for you? Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
No matter where your journey to cool takes you, I’m so excited to see your transformation! Remember that busting through your internal blocks is the biggest challenge we all face. It’s time to say goodbye forever to anything in your mind that’s telling you you can’t be “cool”!
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