
Are you acting like the Badass Boss of your life? Hint: if you’re still putting your power outside of yourself then the answer is NO.
This is a common trap for us to fall into. But we’re the only ones who can get out of it!
So today I’m challenging you to get your power back! Stop waiting for approval or advice and go in on YOUR dreams!
In This Episode:
+ Learn some signs of being out of alignment
+ Find out how you can stop outsourcing your happiness and take action yourself instead
+ Get inspired to start being the true BOSS of your life!
+ Much more!
Thank you so much for watching!
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Video Transcript:
today i’m here to talk about how to be the badass of your own life i still get questions from people that are kind of like well when is this coming and does this person like me and what should i do about this what all of those questions really have in common is that these people are coming to me for advice about something in their life that they do not feel entitled to make a decision about or have an opinion about so today this episode is for you if you are trying to outsource big thoughts big ideas big attitudes in your life it is time for you to come back in and get control and remember who you really are i’m really excited about this one so let’s get right into it
what’s up and welcome back to another episode of ask a coach my name is jen stevens i am a spiritual life and business coach and i’d love to welcome you aboard today ask a coach is where you get to ask me the hot topic on your mind that has to do with mindset and manifestation i am here to help you up level your life by up leveling your mind and i would love to answer your questions so on that note today i’m not actually going to answer a question today i’m going to give you a little pep talk a little self-love and hopefully inspire you to look at your life in a little bit of a new light so as i said in the intro today we are talking about becoming the badass of your life basically i’m challenging you today to rise up take your power back and become the center of your own universe before we get in to the topic today i know there’s a lot of resistance around this because so many of us have been programmed to always put everyone else first we are taught that we need to think of others first and of course there’s nothing really empirically wrong with that that is a good way to teach our children to be however over time this can become a toxic character that we take with us for the rest of our lives similarly when we go to school we are programmed to put all of our authority into the teacher we you know take the results from the tests we are marked on them we get the results we are allowed to proceed or not proceed into the next grade again there’s nothing really empirically wrong with this but it kind of sets us up to think that there is somebody in charge of our life who has the power to make us go forward or to let us go back both of these kind of things together the kind of good boy good girl syndrome and the school system which kind of sets you up to outsource your worth or your value those two things together can leave us as an adult as somebody who is not used to putting ourselves first we are not used to showing up as the badass who we really are meant to be as i said in the introduction i get questions from you guys all the time that sometimes that are not really the questions for ask a coach so these are questions like you know i’ve been dating this person for two weeks and they did this thing and i’m not really sure if they like me or you know i need to make this decision about my work or you know how do i feel about this and like when is my manifestation coming and all of these questions they might not look that similar on the surface but they really come down to one common thing just because these people are asking me these kinds of questions i can tell that they are not showing up as the badass of their own life if you are coming to me to ask me if some guy likes you that means that you don’t really trust your own opinion on the matter same thing with should i take this job or should i not take this job same thing with is my manifestation coming or not or what does this number mean i mean you can come to me with some questions about things but the most important tool that anyone will ever have in this journey that we are all having as spiritual creatures having a temporary human experience is learning how to trust yourself i know it is so much easier to go online and to google things to get a bunch of opinions to pull your friends for advice i know i have people coming into my you know my instagram dms and they’re asking me a question about something that they could very easily go over to my website and type into the search bar and get an answer for right away and this just kind of shows me that you’re outsourcing the work in one way or another you’re either really outsourcing it like i want you to google this for me i want you to show me the blog article like i have to go back you guys too like i don’t have all the urls memorized if i want to send you a post i have to go search for it myself so you coming to ask me that really we’re doing the same thing you typing something into the search bar is the same as me typing it into the search bar so why not just go ahead and do that because i can never get to everybody’s message necessarily that’s just one example um but again if people are asking me about does this person like me should i take this job is this good enough is the universe coming my way you are just really not trusting yourself you are not trusting your intuition you are not trusting your thoughts you are not trusting your opinions and that is the bigger problem we all have to learn how to stand up and be the player of our own game and i know that most like normal manifestation routines they don’t really teach this part it’s still very passive like just set the intention and sit back and think good thoughts and things will happen for you but for most of us it doesn’t happen like that because from my understanding of the way manifestation works it’s because thinking about something consciously is one level of energy but you also have your subconscious mind you have your words and you have your actions and you have your identity and your self trust my question for you my little manifesto who is feeling like you need someone else’s opinion who is polling your friends who’s asking random strangers on the internet for advice about your life what are you looking for what do you really want someone to say the other thing that comes from these questions of course i just touched on is that i know that when people are coming to me with these sorts of questions they are wanting me to say something specific like i don’t know what that specific thing is but it is very clear to me that they want me to tell them yes this man who has been ignoring you for the last six months is deeply in love with you or yes this job that doesn’t really feel like it’s the right one and isn’t paying you what you want to be paid this is the job that you should take they want me to give them an answer they want me to be specific even though i don’t know anything about the situation i know people write out a paragraph and think that i know more than them about the subject matter but trust me i do not you are the one that knows the most about your life sometimes we ask for other people’s opinions and we give people a tiny little bit of the story because we want to hear something because we want a stranger on the internet to say yes of course this man’s in love with you clearly even though i can guarantee that the little paragraph that you sent me is not containing all the relevant information and i’m guessing from the information that you gave me there’s probably some really bad stuff in there that maybe you didn’t want to share because you wanted me to say something to you to make you feel better about your desires two things here sometimes we ask for outside opinions and tell skewed versions of the story because we want someone to indulge us in our fantasy we’re not ready to see the truth we want the truth to be different than what it is and we are trying really hard to have other people on our team and other people tell us what we really want to hear even though we know it isn’t true so that’s one thing to look out for but the big thing to look out for here is that no matter who the person is me a stranger on the internet your best friend your mother your partner no one else’s opinion matters as much as your own what would happen if you had to go through life without asking people questions without asking me to google things for you without pulling your friends to see what this message meant what would you think and feel if you were challenged to stand energetically on your own two feet this is an important part of becoming the badass of your own life because this is the way it should be it’s not that we don’t care about what other people think but we are not using other people’s thoughts and words and opinions ahead of our own this comes from not trusting ourselves this comes from confusion this comes from not thinking that we get to have full and complete agency over our life life is a beautiful game manifesting is a beautiful game but this game requires you to get out on the field and start playing sometimes playing that game means really realizing that the situation you are in is not a great situation it means not making excuses for somebody that clearly isn’t right for you not going for the job that would be the easiest thing to do but holding out for something that you really want the badass and you wants the best for you and the badass in you is not trying to get someone on your side it’s not trying to get opinions from 12 people so you can make a decision is not needing someone to compliment them so they can feel good the badass in you does not need any of that stuff you on your own are good enough you on your own and your thoughts and your opinions and your feelings on the matter are all you need to make a decision so sometimes those thoughts and feelings and opinions are telling us things that we don’t really want to hear but you running around the world and getting everyone else’s opinions is not going to change the reality of the matter in june’s recode program i’m taking you through the world of building self-confidence and for me that really stems from building a concrete relationship with yourself so on the surface confidence doesn’t sound like a manifestation tool but really developing that self-trust is so important so again if you are asking for people to google things for you if you are polling all of your friends about a date that you had if you are needing 12 opinions before you wear an outfit somewhere if you require people to tell you you look good before you feel like you look good if you are trying to convince strangers on the internet that the shitty romantic situation or job situation that you are in is actually a good thing these are all red flags that maybe something is going wrong you either need to learn how to listen to the uncomfortable truth inside of you or you just need to learn how to stand on your own two feet stand out there feeling good about yourself without a compliment without validation without 12 people signing off on what you’re doing or saying or wearing these are things that are available to you and when you stand up and act like the conscious creator of your life all of the rest of it becomes so easy i know right now you don’t think that this is doing any harm but trust me putting all your energy and attention to all these different people because you need all these different opinions and all these different voices in your mind before you can feel good about the voice that is actually in your mind this is a waste of your precious energy this is you giving your sovereignty away this is you eliminating your boundaries and inviting in all this stuff from everybody else you are so much stronger when you stand on your own and on your own is the best place to be again that doesn’t mean we don’t take anyone’s opinions into account doesn’t mean we need to act alone but it means that our core desires our core actions our core decisions are generated from ourselves and that is a place of true power my friends that pulling people asking questions outsourcing the hard stuff in your life that is never going to get you there so that’s it for today’s ask a coach which was not really ask a coach that was it for my little pep talk for you today i hope that you enjoyed this there are no coincidences so i know there was a little nugget of information in there today that you need to take with you and apply to your life if you have any questions for a future episode of ask a coach go ahead drop them below or come on over to instagram and say hi because i would love to hear from you over there if you enjoyed this pep talk today go ahead and give me a thumbs up and other than that i will see you back here in next week’s episode so until then i’m wishing you so much self love badassery and confidence you