Change: while we all wish for it, not many of us are prepared for the reality of it! Reaching our next level is not always sunshine and roses; uncomfortable feelings are very much part of the picture, whether we like it or not.
But don’t get it twisted! Those feelings are not a sign to abort your mission! Growth simply isn’t easy; we shouldn’t expect to feel good all the time while we’re aiming to go to our next level.
When you were a kid, you might have experienced literal growing pains. Plus I’m sure you can remember some other times in your life when things felt out of whack–usually right before something big happens. But that should all just go to show you that it’s normal to experience discomfort along the way!
I have no desire to to be one of those Law of Attraction teachers that focuses on good vibes only. Yes, it’s important to think positive (and positive thought has been backed by science you guys! Also it’s what starts the manifestation process.) Yes, it’s also important to understand your own emotional states and to healthily process your emotions.
But does that mean you’re never going to feel down, anxious or angry ever again? No, of course not. You’re human and you get to experience a full-range of human emotions! Not only that, but every single emotion (even the “bad” ones) is really here to teach you something.
If personal growth and manifesting are important to you (and I assume they are since you’re here!), then you’re going to face these uncomfortable feelings sooner or later! So here’s a handy little guide to help you decipher what those feelings might actually mean.
10 Uncomfortable Feelings & How They Actually Indicate You’re On The Right Path
Uncomfortable Feeling #1:
Anxiety is a natural state when we’re experiencing something new. If you’ve just changed something (job, home, relationship) in your life then also expect to experience some level of anxiety while you figure things out. It never really matters how much planning you’ve done ahead of time. The real world situations require you to do things you’ve never done before and that’s always daunting! So know your anxiety is normal and stop judging it or thinking something’s wrong with you for feeling it.
Uncomfortable Feeling #2:
Saying goodbye to people or situations is hard. But it’s also a fact of life. Being sad that something no longer exists in its old form just shows you how much you appreciated things the way they were. It also means you’re in middle of a change–and that’s not a bad thing! Sadness is a normal part of life so don’t be tempted to hide from yours.
Uncomfortable Feeling #3:
Congratulations! The experience of confusion isn’t as bad as you might be tempted to think. Simply experiencing confusion really just means you have a choice–and trust me (from experience!) not having a choice is much worse.
It can be overwhelming sometimes to try to figure out what the “right” answer or path is moving forward. But that’s largely because we tend to believe there’s only one right answer that will trump all others. In reality, there are just different answers; taking different paths will take you to slightly different destinations (none better or worse). Once you take the pressure off of figuring out the “right” thing, you might be more inspired to pick the answer that resonates the most with you, which is really the most important thing in the end!)
Uncomfortable Feeling #4:
Being human means we crave companionship. But the truth of the matter is, we’re all on our own solo journey, no matter who we choose to surround ourselves with. The changes we experience in life are always our own to deal with. At times, these feelings can build into a sense of isolation. But instead of thinking there’s something wrong, know this is just the perfect time to work on the most important relationship of all: your relationship with yourself.
Uncomfortable Feeling #5:
The Desire To Be Alone
Are you feeling more and more like being alone recently? When you’re going through a period of change, this is a perfectly normal response. While we might love our friends and family, spending time with them is often not conducive to the self-reflection we need to go to our next level. Even well-intentioned advice can just become confusion so sometimes we need to set our own boundaries and limits.
This is especially true for introverts, who must recharge regularly with some alone time! So don’t feel bad about your need for space. Consider it a necessary part of the process.
Uncomfortable Feeling #6:
Not sure what to do next? Feeling a little unanchored? Those are common symptoms of feeling lost–but please don’t think that feeling lost means you actually are lost.
Sure, you might be facing some completely foreign-territory. You might not have a clue about what’s going to happen–but that’s okay! The truth is you’ve been in this position before and you will again in the future. So while it’s okay to feel a little fear, just know that it’s also time to trust your ability to figure things out on the fly.
Uncomfortable Feeling #7:
No matter how much research or planning you’ve done, one day it will come: the time to actually do the damn thing–which is more often than not, scary. Anytime we do something new we’re leaving our comfort zone and opening ourselves up for all kinds of “bad” experiences: failure, humiliation etc. So your fear mechanism is going to kick in hard at times, perhaps even hard enough that you begin to question your own judgment.
Please know this is all just a trick of your mind! Fear doesn’t mean you’ve gone wrong. It just means you’re about to do something new–which is an awesome thing. Also, we’ve all taken action despite our fear in the past and this time should prove no different! So don’t give into the Fear Goblin in your mind and just keep it moving!
Uncomfortable Feeling #8:
Questioning Your Friendships
Our relationships with other people are a crucial part of our overall happiness. However, no matter how long you’ve known someone or how close you are there’s no guarantee that you’ll both continue to grow at the same rate. That might mean that you need to let go or reform some relationships as you go.
The new you will have a new set of priorities and interests, so don’t be surprised if your old friends don’t fit in perfectly! It can be tough to let go but please know that your time together has hit a limit. But who knows what can happen in the future? Sometimes you just need to come together in a new way instead of relying on the habits of the past.
Uncomfortable Feeling #9:
Irritability can actually form in a few different ways! Sometimes irritability is just a sign of our own frustration at those around us. Sometimes when we start to change, we expect the people around us to change too–but that’s usually not the reality! When your friends and family don’t share in your new viewpoints about the world, it can feel like a major disappointment–which turns into you acting out in irritable ways.
Other times our irritability may rise from the actions or words from those around us. When you begin to change, those around you may not take it so well (even if they’re not consciously aware of it). They might say or do things in an attempt to get you to go back to doing what you used to do–and that doesn’t feel good! When people are really trying to make you play small, it can be very frustrating! So don’t be surprised if your irritability gets a little out of hand.
In either case, just know it’s a phase that it will ultimately pass.
Uncomfortable Feeling #10:
Obsessing Over The Past
When our future is uncertain, it’s only natural to cling to our memories of the past. The only problem is that our future is always uncertain. When we get cozy in our life, we tend to forget this fact and readily believe that we know what the future will bring. That gives us a sense of security (which is, of course, totally false!).
While it’s definitely comforting to reminisce about old times, don’t be tempted to over-glamorize the past! No time in your life was without problems, so don’t pretend to believe otherwise.
So tell me: which uncomfortable feelings are you grappling with? What actions are you going to take to soothe yourself during this transition period?
Growth doesn’t always happen in a linear, painless fashion! So don’t hold yourself to such high standards if you hit a few bumps along the way. Give yourself the grace of being able to figure it out as you go and don’t expect perfection (that’s a standard none of us can meet!)
PS Looking for more? You might also want to check out this post about emotional intelligence skills for real life or this one about my 5-step spiritual morning routine.
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